Day in the Life of an Idiot

 Of course now that things are underway, it only now occurs to me that I could have easily had a Gaylaxicon icon and then those of you who wanted to skim or skip would have been forewarned. 

I wavered on whether or not I wanted to go to the GoH dinner last night, especially when I found out that tallgeese was not coming because he didn't feel well. The things that propelled me out the door were 1) Mason had planned to make a fancy curry dish for himself and Shawn.I tend to be the default cook when I'm home and I didn't want to come between that; and 2) I'd just been through one of these in Capclave and... frankly? Without the right people it can be fairly deadly.

We met out at Heather's in Minneapolis, a place I have never been before. They had a lovely, long table for us out on the patio. Turns out that Emma Törzs (rhymes with dirge--so, like terrge,) used to work with the Heather of Heather's, so that's kind of cool. I ended up, by accident, sitting in between KD Edwards and Emma, with Jim Johnson at the end of the table on the other side of KD (Keith.)  I should have, as soon as she arrived, switched places with Emma because I was pretty good at keeping the left side of the table entertained and Emma ended up somewhat stuck in conversation with someone who was, shall we say, enthusiastic in a hyperfixated way about a singular subject about which is was unclear that Emma was similarly enthusiastic. I asked her, later, if I should have done more to rescue her, but she said it was enjoyable enough though she did appreciate Bast and my efforts when we were able to pry her back into the larger conversation. To be fair to this person? I do the same thing sometimes?  We're all nerds here, So no shade. 

After a very lovely dinner, where I got to watch KD Edward's shoulders visibly relax when I explained that Minnesota is a blue state and that Minneapolis/St. Paul is so blue it might as well be navy (he's living in North Carolina), we all trundled over to Dreamhaven for the reading. 

I sort of thought that my herding cats portion of the evening was over, but Anton tapped me to do introductions so I jumped up to do that. I probably should have done more "here's a quick bio" of everyone and I managed to stumble over Emma's last name (terrrge! Like dirge!) which sucked, and I think, too, I should have had everyone go in the reverse order that we started with. Ending with Nghi Vo, instead of, like I ended up prompting, starting with her and ending with Jim Johnson. Especially since, unbeknowst to me, despite the fact that Jim is an author of several books, he decided instead to read the introduction to his newest Star Trek: Adventures book--which was... again, let's just say less high energy than spirit cannibals, which is what Nghi started with. 

BUT! The event was super well attended. Dreamhaven ran out of chairs and, really, room. (That bookstore is what you find when you look up cramped and byzantine in the dictionary.) I don't have even an unofficial count, but if I had to guess I'd say over 30. We ended up even getting an on the spot sponsor-level membership for the convention out of the deal. It was by almost all measures a success.

So yay!

Now, before I head outside to do a little more painting on the fence, I need to time one of my stories. There's a woman in-town, Cole, who runs SciFi Reading Hour at the Bryant-Lake Bowl and she's looking for an emergency replacement for their November 2nd show. I don't know that she's considering me for that slot, but she did ask me to time one of my stories when read aloud. So, I need to do that for her in case it will work out.

Then, it's off to the convention this afternoon.

 "Woe" is probably too strong a word for this situation. It's more that I am a complain-y person who likes to complain about things. The current thing I am fretting about is that I agreed to do a Speculations reading at Dreamhaven next Wednesday. 

True confession time. 

I have NEVER liked reading my own work out loud. Despite the fact that I often enjoy re-reading my own work, as discussed in a recent previous post and I generally like speaking in front of an audience, I kind of hate readings. It's one of those things, however, that is fully expected that authors DO. 

There's a couple of personal reasons why I dislike reading, out loud, in front of an audience. I am dyslexic. I've been dyslexic my whole life and so I have a lot of... shame around it? Like, I'm mostly okay with this fairly minor (for me) learning disability, but when I am standing in front of people who are all staring at me and I stumble over my own words, I don't enjoy it. I've learned to make fun of myself and to get around my mistakes by just going with something close to what I've written, but the actual act of reading out loud in this very structured space is not something I enjoy.

My other complaint in my complaining song is that I also, personally, am not fond of going to readings? I have an allergy to the MFA voice. I find it grating at best and soporific at worst. Worse, its prevalent, even among people who are not in Academia. Even when a reader doesn't do the MFA voice, I'm not great at paying attention when people are reading in performance halls, bookstores, and hotel panel rooms.

I don't know why. Like, Shawn used to read to me while I did the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) for years. She's been replaced by an iPad and Spotify, but having people read to me or tell me a story is not the problem. So, I don't really understand why I find it hard to listen to writers reading their stories at readings. There just must be something about it that feels artificial. I honestly don't know. 

Am I alone in this?

At any rate, I'm also struggling to figure out WHAT to read. My WIP makes the most sense, but this is a book that I'm floundering on at the moment and I'm in that dreaded "I hate this book" phase of writing. I still might find some piece of that to read, and probably will? I could also read some short stories that I've recently sold... and I might do that, if for no other reason than that the editors of the anthologies would probably be happy that I'm out publicizing their product.  

I dunno.

La! There's my complaining song. 

How are you?

Yesterday, after Mason took his physics test (school is still in session, technically,) he and I grabbed brooms, work gloves, a dustbin, and our masks and headed to the Lutheran church where we normally go to vote. We'd heard people were organizing a relief station there and there were calls for people to help clean-up. The church folks were gathering medical supplies to deliver them to street medics for the continued fight. I stayed and helped organize the food donations to distribute to folks whose only local source for groceries burned (and they have cut off our buses and light rail, so some neighbors are literally trapped without a public transit option to get food and water.) Mason stayed for five hours and kept the medical supplies in order and to put together kits for street medics who are tending people who may be injured in the coming protests.

I could only work for about and hour, myself. Between my asthma and lack of sleep, I couldn't cut it for very long.

Today, Mason is returning to the trenches. He left this afternoon for the church and will be doing, I suspect, more of the same all day.

I just got back from Dreamhaven Books. Dreamhaven was looted last night and was nearly burned, but a quick acting neighbor interceded and saved the store. Lisa showed me a book that started to catch fire, but simply refused to burn.


Image: a partly burned book or, as Lisa called it: The Book That Wouldn't Burn 

If you are local to me, you may want to stop by, as well. They had plenty of help when I was there, but if you are local to me and able to help they would appreciate people stopping by, even just to show support. I brought homemade blueberry muffins, because that's what I do in times of crisis: bake. It seemed to be appreciated. I would have stayed but they were wall-to-wall with able bodies at the moment, and my skills are the sort that I would likely get in the way more than help.

We lost Uncle Hugo's and Uncle Edgar's last night. The building was burned to the ground. My heart is broken for the loss. As I said on Facebook: These were both acts perpetrated by people who are not honoring the life of George Floyd, murdered by police. There will be no peace without justice, but these Nazis need to leave our streets.*

For context, I am not talking about protesters. We are hearing from our governor that of the arrests made last night 80% of the vandals were from out of state. Not just from other cities, but from other STATES. We are being infiltrated by unsavory, right-wing elements who want a race war. The FBI has been called in to stop these white nationalist terrorists. 

We have our own fight to fight, we do not need to be inflamed by outsiders. 

Pray for peace, y'all, but fight for justice.

Let's dispense with the advertising first.

TONIGHT (Tuesday, February 18) from 8pm to 10pm, I will be reading erotica at the Strike Theater (824 18th Avenue NE, Minneapolis, 55413) as part of the Not-So-Silent Planet reading series.

TOMORROW NIGHT (Wednesday, February 19) starting at 6:30 pm I will be reading from my upcoming novel at Dreamhaven Books and Comics (2301 E 38th St, Minneapolis, MN 55406) as part of the Speculation reading series.

Short notice, but please come? 

I will tell you that the last time I did a Not-So-Silent Planet reading, it was kind of a blast. There was tentacle porn (not mine) and so many other amazing performers.... and my reading involved audience participation, so, there was that. I actually am trying to figure out what to read tonight? I'm expected to fill 8 - 10 minutes and having polled my fellow readers, it sounds as though people are mostly going towards "middle-of-the-road" so no full-on graphic stuff, I'm guessing (unless I want to break the mold, and... yeah, no.)

The obvious choice is the opening of Unjust Cause with it's pan-to-the-left dragon sex scene.  But, I read that last year and will DEFINITELY be reading it at Dreamhaven... so I'm thinking about digging up (pun intended?) some of my previous vampire sex and seeing if any of that would work for tonight. I feel like the first time Garnet and Sebastian go at it, it's pretty decent?  I'll have to look.

So, that's me, tonight. It's going to be kind of crazy, logistically, since Mason has his college class tonight until 7 pm. But, I don't believe I'm going on at 8:00 sharp, so I should be okay to arrive whenever I get there. 

In other news, we just got back last night from our friends' cabin in Siren, Wisconsin. As I told people, when the temperatures drop, OF COURSE you head north, right??  This was the first time we stayed with them in the winter and it was lovely. Lots of sitting under blankets reading and relaxing. We played board games and did a lot of cooking together.... which was just wonderful. Ger and Barb are such good people. Very easy to be with.  We stopped at the cheese factory both there and back again, which means we have a fridge full of squeaky cheese and fresh cheese blocks of all variety.  

The best moment was getting to see the eagle eating a fish out on the lake, just feet from the cabin.  Amazing.

Ugh, a lot has happened in the past few days. But first, if you find yourself at loose ends tonight and are local, feel free to stop by my signing tonight. The details are below:

On Tuesday, July 8, 2008 from 5:00 - 7:00 pm I'll be signing at the Waldenbooks in Northtown Mall with Lois Grieman and Michele Hauf. Waldenbooks is located at: 212 Northtown Drive Blaine, MN 55434. For more information call (763) 780-1264.*

Okay, let's see. This weekend was an embarassment in social riches. I ended up having to turn down and/or miss several cool events because we ended up being booked solid. First of all, we got invited to a potluck at our friend Rosanne Bane's house for the 4th. We had every intention of going, but Shawn, who is out of town this week in Washington, D.C. on business, got her traditional ack-I'm-leaving-I'm-sick upset stomach, and we had to spend much of the weekend close to the bathroom. But, she took a lot of immodium and we cooked the traditional hamburgers on the grill. A few years ago I learned a clever trick. You can put cast iron skillets on the grill. This has made for really yummy grilled onions and mushrooms. (Shawn loves the onions, and I love both). So that was really quite tasty, and thanks to the poor economy and the Chinese fireworks shortage our neighborhood only very briefly sounded like the warzone. Most people were done blowing things up around 11:00 pm, which is actually pretty sane for the 4th.

I realize I'm fairly unpatroitic to suggest this, but I've never understood what explosions have to do with the birth of our nation. I spent a lot of this 4th wondering how freaked out returning soldiers from Bagdad and elsewhere must feel everytime they heard that whistling overhead. I mean, to my untrained ears they sound a lot like incoming mortar bombs. Which made me wonder if the 4th is a particularly bad time to have post-traumatic stress syndrome, you know?

Then on Saturday, I met up with Lars Pearson and his wife from Mad Norwegian Press, as well as Lynne and Michael Thomas (I should look up their LJ handles, but I'm really lazy and sleepy today). That was a great deal of fun. Turns out we had a bunch of fandoms in common -- comicbooks! -- so I had a blast chatting with everyone. So I only grazed the edges of CONvergence, though it sounds like it was a good con. I'm sure to go next year when Wyrdsmith's own Kelly McCullough will be one of the literary GoHs.

Speaking of the prequel, I've figured a few things out and I think that project is finally getting some wind in its sails.

Sunday we hung out with our friends Dave and Rachel Hoffman-Dachelet. Dave just finished his epic fantasy novel SEA OATH and was looking for a reader, and I would have done it without the lunch, but Rachel's spreads are always worth it. Though it was a bit hot, we ate outside in their gianormous and incredibly lovely garden/backyard. They have the kind of backyard that Shawn and I strive for, but haven't quite achieved. I do want to take a picture of the johnny jump-ups that have self-seeded in our herb garden, because they are Legion... but otherwise, a lot of our gardening is on hold until Mason can really help out.

Yesterday, Shawn took off for D.C. and Mason and I spent our after school time overdosing on our newest obsession: Bookworm Adventures. Have you ever played this game? It's awesome and totally addictive for anyone who likes Scrabble and other word games. We were in the middle of defeating the big boss from the first adventure (each adventure takes place in a book, and the first one is a cross between the Illiad and the Oddessy) when Sean M. Murphy stopped by to chat. We took a break from the game long enough to chat a bit, but then we sucked him into playing a few rounds in the Arabian Nights adventure. Much fun.

Today, I'm going to drive over to Dreamhaven with another load of AngeLINK books, which I'm surprised they want since they're moving house... but it must be e/mail orders that they're filling. I was checking my records and I must deliver an armload of books once a month. My sales since going out-of-print are small, but steady.

I should be going to work out now, or at the very least getting my hair cut (which is starting to get beyond shaggy), but there's air-conditioning in the coffeeshop and did I mention the lazy I have going on?

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*Note: if you've always wanted to meet Mason, this is the event to attend. Since my usual booksigning babysitter flew off to D.C. yesterday afternoon, I'm bringing him with me. I know this sounds crazy, but if I buy him a Garfield book he'll be so deep in it he won't be able to bother anyone until he's finished reading it. Love that kid!