lydamorehouse: (Default)
 I have this sense that, particularly for artists, sometimes the universe will give you hints about what you should be doing with your life, you know? Like, if you've been banging your head against some door forever and the universe keeps giving you these opportunities at another, like, maybe you should follow those opportunities.

Well, you know how the Loft "cancelled" me over my manuscript critique?

Guess who suddenly has not one, but TWO new critique jobs.

THIS GIRL!

So, I feel very VALIDATED by the universe. True, one of the jobs is with someone I have known in the science fiction community forever and who knows about the Loft malarky, but the other is a Complete STRANGER. The universe seems to be saying, "Stop beating yourself up about all of this. I know you're a good critiquer--here, have a couple of jobs immediately so you don't lose heart."

Thank you, universe!  I needed this!
lydamorehouse: (renji has hair)
 So, I don't even want to tell you how much of the Loft malarky I have continued to have to deal with. It feels ongoing in a way that is starting make me lose sleep.

Since I started here I should probably give you all a little wrap-up of the newest twist in this DRAMA. After actual pressure from media outlets, the Loft finally decided to talk to me in order to "set the record straight." The executive director called me and because MN is what is called a "single-party" state, you don't need permission to record calls, I planed to record it, and I did. (Side note, I have a terrible phone that could not handle any of the apps? So, I ended up putting her on speaker phone and just holding it near my computer so that Audacity could pick up both sides of the conversation. It worked okay, but, man, the quality of sound when she is talking is BAD.) 

I actually did this for a couple of reasons. My memory is bad--in a way that I think is typical of a lot of people? I don't remember things perfectly when the conversation is difficult, heated, or I'm otherwise worried, etc.. Like, this is why I often want Shawn (and usually visa versa) to be with at the important doctor's appointments, so there are basically two people with the information. So, I wanted a recording for my own sake, in case, at 4 am I wake up wondering: "Oh no! I did I say something rude?" or "Wait, did she imply what I think she did??"

Also, I'm still not sure I don't want to pursue this via some legal channel and having a recording of the conversion would be useful, if I do.

Okay, so the Executive Director planned to call me at noon, and OF COURSE, in a super corporate business "power move" called at 12:05 pm. I literally found this hilarious? Like, wow, already showing your insincerity. 

She starts by saying that the Loft likes to keep these sorts of conversations private and confidential. Then she stops speaking. She clearly waiting for me to agree that that's what we're having. The silence stretches. I finally say, "uh, so...?" And, she has to give up and asks if there's something I'd like to start with. I lead with my main question which is, "Why did the Loft tell me one thing about the reason I was fired and then turn around and tell my students something that cast me in the frame?" (This is paraphrasing.)

There is another awkwardly log pause and the director clearly starts reading a statement. Even at the time, I knew she was reading because she stumbled over some words in a way you just DON'T when you're speaking spontaneously and off the cuff. This statement is full of corporate double-speak in a way that I'm actually sort of having trouble parsing it. There are words like "open dialoguing" and god knows what all else. (I did not, in fact, listen to the whole thing again. I did replay certain parts for Shawn, however.) She finally drops the "bomb."

She tells me that, in fact, there have been complaints about me. She says that I (and in re-listening, I notice this is actually not concrete but a list of OPTIONS, like maybe she is trying to cold read me?) either gave feed back, written comments, or said to the critique client something that the client found offensive to the GLBTQIA+ community. I was not expecting this? I didn't exactly scoff, but I broke in and said, "Wow! Really? That's surprising given that I'm a lesbian." 

Shawn and I counted.

There is a good TEN SECONDS of utter, astonished SILENCE.

They didn't know. The Loft had no idea that I'm a lesbian. It is so clear that the director has no idea what to do with this twist because after pulling herself together, she starts rereading her script. She never really address this, or the fact that a conversation in community between two queer folks should not be treated the same way as one between a queer person and an outsider to that community. (I can call my friends dykes, but the straights better not call me that. We all understand this. It's code-switching. Something she is likely to be familiar with as a Black woman.) 

But, okay, I get a chance to speak and I say, something to the effect of, excuse me, but when did you receive this complaint? She checks her notes, she says 8/9/2023. I say, "Well, that's impossible, I haven't had a critique client in over a year." She then makes mumblely noises about how, "Oh, that's when it came to light.. uh... at that time," seeming to admit on tape (unknowingly) that they clearly spent time in early August digging up information with which to fuel some kind of retaliatory action like this.  Because the last critique I did for the Loft was in October of 2022, I believe. It did have GLBTQIA+ content and I do remember having a complex discussion with the client. So, it is possible that the client, who is also queer, did take something I said as offensive. I will never suggest that just because I'm queer that I'm absolved of the possibility of homophobia or what have you. 

None of this really matters, because its very, very clear that in many ways, this is bull. If the Loft is so concerned about creating GLBTQIA+ safer spaces AND there was a complaint against me that suggested to them that I was problematic in this regard (and let's even give them the benefit of the doubt and believe, which I don't, that their stated reason that it took over a year for someone to approach me about this is because somehow the previous Education Director was blocking "justice" being served) they should have been GOOD ALLIES to the queer community and come at me hard. Say it! Write the email that says, "Dear Lyda, it has come to light that you are a Bad Actor and known to be anti-GLBTQIA+ and we don't stand for it!"

If someone in my community is a bigot, I shout bigot! That's what allyship looks like!!

Why, instead, write an email that says, "there are some programming changes happening, including phasing out the program you're using wet.ink and la, la, la about strategic and budgetary concerns, good luck with your future endeavors, Love, the Loft" ?? (Obviously paraphrasing here. I believe I quoted them directly in my previous post if you want to re-read the actual communication)

When I asked them that, they said, well, it says in the email "participant feedback" among this long laundry list of other, very innocuous reasons. WHICH it does say, but as an organization of writers, it should also be clear to them that sliding in to a list of words that otherwise are entirely about strategic planning and programmic shifts, does not, in fact, give connotation of "we heard something bad about you from a student" but instead, "we surveyed our general student body and they're looking for other kinds of programming." 

And if you are so sure... WHY BURY THAT?

Also why all the insistence that this is private. If I'm a bad actor and you are sure of it, should you not be willing to say that out loud and on the public record!!

So, again. This is clearly all been manufactured to some extent AFTER they received pressure from the Star Tribune and (possibly) MPR. I told them that was clear. And this is when they tried to insist that I never speak of this again out loud because this is a private and confidential conversation and I said, "You can't actually ask me not to talk to anyone about this because you made it abundantly clear that I no longer work for YOU. There is no non-disclosure part of your contract, anyway, and, even if there were, I am no longer bound by that. I am a free agent who can speak to whom I like, about what I like." (That is nearly a direct quote. I believe I actually also said something about how I would use social media to talk about this as my conscious deemed fit, but I get poetic like that under pressure; I blame my theater background.) 

But, it is, in effect over because they have an accusation that I can never truly counter because they refused to give me details. They wouldn't say what I said or whom I said it to, nor even when exactly I might have said it *(other than the date it "came to light.")

So, that's the end of this ugly business. If there is one thing I wish I had said it's this: "If the Loft is truly committed to making itself a safer place for GLBTQIA+ folx, then I hope they are extending that to their teaching artists as well. If they will not stand up for their queer teaching artists then it's not a safe space and without queer teachers, the queer students will NOT feel safer."

Yet, it so painfully clear, this is not their real agenda. Not as an institution, nor in firing me. 

One quick addendum. The whole teen summer issue: The same person who used to give me manuscript critiques is the same person I had feelings at.  She recently was promoted to the position of Education Programming director--thus, finally in a position to make a decision to pull my class.

So... mmmm.

[BIG BREATH] Letting it go now.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
I was writing to some other people about this (including in comments of my previous post,) but I just wanted to add a bit more to this baffling story.

The Loft has chosen not to reply to me at all. I suspect this because they know as well as I do that no lawyer would take on a suit because it's never profitable to sue a non-profit as they just don't have any money. So, their policy seems to be to ignore my pleas for answers or proof that I have violated any contracts, because they have no reason to engage. In the meantime, they are continuing to spread lies and besmirch my character.... and, oh, boy are they dropping IMPLICATIONS.

One of my students did ask them for more detail and got this response:

"Thank you for your feedback - you have been refunded in full for the class and it will be back on your original form of payment in 3-5 business days. I did have to keep the language intentionally vague to protect Lyda's privacy, but you are correct in that we have had to let Lyda go due to a violation of her teaching contract."
 
Which.. the way that's phrased? Especially around "to protect Lyda's privacy"??? That makes me sound like I'm some kind of predator or secret racist.

And what contract? I have a class-by-class contract. I'm not staff. I am fully an independent contractor. Having re-read my contract the only thing I can be in violation of before the class starts is not making a good-faith effort to promote my class. I clearly did that? Nothing else kicks in until the class STARTS.

I have no idea why they are being THIS cruel.

It's not necessary. They could have let me have my last class with them and then just never accepted proposals from me. If they had later said to me, "Oh, you know, you just don't get that many requests for manuscript critiques, we're going to remove you from our stable" I would have probably agreed? So, this is STRANGE and pointed and I am truly baffled and hurt.

Like, I think this is about the summer issue, but I really, really do not know and they WON'T tell me (I guess to preserve my privacy??)  But, if it's something else, shouldn't they have been very clear about it when they told me they were cancelling my class? They really made it sound innocuous, like maybe there were lots of other staff who used Wet.ink who would be affected. 

What the fuck. 

I continue to have no words.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 Um, so, remember when I was like, "Ah, I guess the Loft is okay? They accepted my class!"

They just pulled it randomly. LIke, it was supposed to start on Sept. 20, and I got, instead this e-mail, this morning:

 
Dear Lyda,
 
The Loft is streamlining some of our course offerings and services including scaling back and phasing out some of our Manuscript Critique engagements and our asynchronous course offerings using the WetInk platform. These decisions are based on budgetary constraints, participant feedback, changes in programmatic priorities, and a desire for more strategic engagements with teaching artists. Unfortunately, this impacts our work with you. We will be phasing out our use of Wet Ink and canceling the "Mars Needs Writers" flex online asynchronous class proposed for Fall 2023. In addition, we are revising our list of recommended editors and will no longer list you as an editor for the Loft's manuscript critique services.
 
Thank you for your contributions and wishing you the best,
[name redacted]

I was immediately suspicious since listing me as a manuscript critiquer/editor literally costs them nothing. I mean, outside of whatever they pay to keep their web server running. I can't see how NOT offering a class improves their budget, although I suspect that Wet.ink does cost them to continue. Likewise, I have very rarely had an evaluation that could be considered lukewarm, even. Most of my evaluations (unless there are some they have not shared with me) have been glowing. The other two things "programmatic priorities" and "strategic engagements" sound like CYA corporate-speak to me, so I mean, I guess I could be in violation of those, since they are nonsense terms.

But, then I get a panicked email of a friend of mine that has signed up for the class who is concerned that either I, or my wife, has had an accident and/or is in the hospital, because this is what they wrote to my students--making it seem as though I have chosen to cancel the class.

Subject: CANCELLED: Mars Needs Writers! Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy for Publication
 
Hello Loft students,
 
I hope you are doing well. I'm writing because you are currently registered for Mars Needs Writers! Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy for Publication, which was set to start on Wednesday, September 20th. Unfortunately, I'm writing to let you know that this class has been cancelled due to a teaching artist conflict.
 
We'd be happy to transfer you into another class and simply charge or refund the tuition difference. 

THEY LIED. They very much implied that I cancelled this class. There is no teaching artist conflict, unless that covers "we fired this teacher vindictively" as a conflict which they do, in fact have, since they created it. 

If you have been following along you know why this happened. 

If not, I will try to tell this story briefly. I did make a thread of it on BlueSky, but I know not everyone is there (or even wants to be.) The short of it is, I yelled.

To be clear, OVER A YEAR AGO NOW, I yelled at some Loft staff because, two weeks before I was set to teach a class for teens, they informed me that I had a co-teacher. You heard that right, a CO-teacher. Someone whose name, I suddenly realized, had been appearing on all the advertisements for this class! Someone I didn't know. At all. Someone who does not, in fact, write science fiction--although might have been working on a YA novel with some fantasy elements?

When I asked what was going on, I was told that this other person (K) would be taking over the second half of the day, because their market research showed that parents of teens want full day classes, not the half day I'd proposed. This change? Not reflected in my contract, btw. They also "assured" me that the other person wouldn't be trying to teach science fiction and fantasy, that was still MY job, but they'd just do activities to fill in the rest of the day.

Okay, so I was mad.

I told them flat out that if I were a parent (or, worse, a nerdy kid) who had signed up for a class on writing science/fiction and fantasy, that's NOT what I'd want? Not one half what I signed up for and one half busywork. I also told them that they had to change the website to reflect what they were really offering and not make it look like K was a legitimate co-teacher, because co-teacher implies that she designed the course with me and she did not. I also aske to see what kinds of activities K was doing so that I could maybe build on what she'd planned so that we could have something that felt more like a unified and planned course? I also told that that while I was mad at them, I was most angry on behalf of my students, to whom I felt I OWED the experience that they had paid good money for.

In the end, my part of the class was not the best I've ever taught. I will admit that. Even though my evaluations came back mostly positive, I know that having K waiting in the wings (though I only saw her once, even though I asked if we could maybe debrief so that we, again, could have a unified sense of the temperature of the class that day) eroded my confidence in my abilities. However, I have taught at the Loft for a long time and figured this was just a bump in the road.

Until I got called into the main building for a "chat" with the Director of Education (an ally, it turned out) but who did tell me that I was persona non gratis among much of the education committee because of the stink I'd raised.  Even though, at the time, the person who just sent me this e-mail y(and who is, incidentally, the person I yelled at) praised me for my professionalism in the end. 

The good news is, as you all know, I have been expecting this? I was, in fact, surprised that my class was approved since the Education Director who was my ally quit and went on to work elsewhere. So, now I have to get serious about figuring out how to teach (if that's what I want to do) on my own, without the Loft. 

It all seems easy until I get to the part where I have to collect money from people. Like, I know how to advertise and use Zoom or rent spaces if I want in-person. But, the financial aspect scares the crap out of me. I don't even balance my own checkbook because I'm THAT BAD at math and finances. 
lydamorehouse: (Aizen)
In short, it went fine.

I was asked to speak with a late in the day elective class (akin to when Mason had robotics in his 510 slot.) This elective was GLBTQIA+ interest.

First of all I knew about this school is that my student who I will call C.N. (to protect the innocent) worked at a middle school. In amongst all of our correspondence leading up to this event, he gave me a map of where to park, which was great, but I kind of failed to notice the name of the school? I had the address. So, at any rate, I plugged the address into my GPS and off I went. You know how your GPS just goes doood-le-oot when you reach your destination and, because you are travelling anywhere from 30 to 60 miles an hour and you often can't just screech to a halt in the middle of the street, you're not sure if the GPS is being predictive, super accurate, or you already passed your destination at high speeds? Well, when the thing makes its noise I see an obvious school ahead and so I go there. It's Holy Angels and as I pulled into the parking lot, I think to myself, "YOU'D THINK THAT SUPER-GAY C.N. WOULD HAVE MENTIONED WORKING AT A CATHOLIC HIGH... wait a minute, this is a high school." 
 
I'm, of course, arriving at 3 pm, when everyone is picking up and school buses are everywhere and I briefly wonder if I'm going to have to park here and start walking back the way I came to try to find the middle school, but then I finally break free of the traffic tangle and do a little reconnoitering.
 
I realize that the reason I nearly blew past the school is because it's kind of a store front. Like, it is literally across the street from a hilariously named Asian market, "Rong Market." (I almost took a picture of Rong Market, but didn't.)  I double check the map, finally, and confirm that this is it.
 
Once I'm parked, I follow the signs to the main office. I ask after my student. A very surly (almost stereotypical) school secretary informs me that Mr. N does not work on Tuesdays. He is not in the building, sorry. 
 
Sorry? Like, that's it? I'm supposed to leave? I give her a look, she looks back, and I'm like, "Uh, let me check my emails, because I'm fairly certain today is the day I'm meant to be visiting his class."  She continues to give me the "fine, but don't corrupt our children while you stand there" vibe, and I'm kind of starting to panic that maybe this ISN'T THE RIGHT SCHOOL? Maybe I am supposed to be over with the Catholic Academy???
 
Now, you're probably wondering why I haven't texted C.N.. I have! I've emailed him and texted, but he had sent me a note earlier saying that his phone was acting up and so maybe he'd be hard to reach???
 
At this point, sweat is breaking out on my brow. I am two seconds from texting a frantic apology saying, "I can't find you. Giving up," when C.N. comes around the corner and sees me. So, that's a huge relief. I asked him later why the secretary was so convinced he wasn't here, and he told me that he actually sent someone to her some time ago to explain not only would someone be asking for him, but where to direct me. So, apparently, the secretary didn't like to look of me. It might have been the giant MN queer shirt I had on? I don't know.
 
But, so this is not off to a particularly auspicious start. 
 
In the room, I realize how grateful I am that I have prepared nothing. It's chaos. As I said, it's an elective, so who knows why they picked the GLBTQiA+ pride class. They might be gay? Or they might just be like, "Sounds fun" or "this is probably easy."

But, the teachers seem to have been expecting something more certain from me. There are three teachers that "run" this class, I'm really only introduced to one other, but it hardly matters because it was in one ear and out the other. She wants to know if I need a powerpoint set up. I actually laugh. And, then I'm like, "No, no, I didn't prepare anything specific."
 
To be fair to me, C.N. made it sound fairly casual, "Q&A and maybe a writing prompt?" and I was like, sounds great.
 
But, I mean I also very intentionally did not sweat this. It's an hour. It's not my class. I'm the guest. They had other things they were doing in the classroom, and so I just sort of told them the story of my writing career, talked about what it was like when dinosaurs roamed the earth and there was no queer representation, told them the story of Theodor Sturgeon's "World Well Lost" (which they actually seemed pretty rapt, during) and then the teachers prompted them to think of media that they consume that have representations that are important to them. I took the opportunity to find out if the sense I got from my Loft middle schoolers was correct: are manga and anime on the downswing in terms of popularity?
 
Turns out yes. Although, when I mentioned Yuri on Ice, one of the kids was like "figure skating is dumb" and I literally was like "HA! YOU KNOW IT." (So, you know, I operate on a middle school mindset. I'm sure that impressed the fuck out of Craig.)
 
I mean, was it chaotic? Probably, yes, a little.
 
Was it also JUST FINE? Yes, absolutely.

I did, at least, discover something really fascinating. Kids these days don't feel the same way about books as I used to.  When I was growing up, books were sort of precious...? Like,  if you wanted to read fiction you had to spend hard earned money on a paperback or you had to hike/bike to the library and check out a book. I was always kind of impressed with books because of this? Like, where did they come from? Who was this mythical author? 

Kids these days get so much media for free on the internet that published books just aren't that precious. They were really baffled about why it was special that I was a published author. Like, books are in the library, but life is on the internet, so, huh?
 
FASCINATING.
 
Honestly, had I known to expect that, I would have made a power presentation about the life cycle of a book. What authors ARE in this process, how books get edited, made, distributed, etc. 

BUT IT NEVER OCURRED TO ME that this wouldn't be at least.... I don't want to say self-evident, because I certainly never considered how books got made until I was starting to get interested in being an author. But, I think it never occurred to me how diluted the idea of this process has becomes because the lines between the production of the free versions (like fan fic) and the pay-for versions (like self-published to trad published books) have become really opaque to a lot of grown-ups, not to mention kids. 

So, if there is a next time in some fashion, I will come much more prepared to sell people not so much on the idea of ME, as the idea of trad published books.  
lydamorehouse: (Default)
Wilow (a black cat draped sadly over the radiator) thinks Mondays are hard.
Image: Willow (a black cat draped morosely over the radiator) wants you to know that Mondays are hard.

Since Rhubarb has joined our crew, Willow makes many more "tired of your crap" faces than I swear she ever used to. Either that, or she's turning into Garfield, the cat (in)famous for his hatred of Mondays.

I just finished up reading and critiquing the student submission for tonight's class and now I need to sit down and seriously consider what I want to talk about. TECHNICALLY, I have a syllabus, but I very intentionally made it vague when I proposed it so that I could change my mind about what I want to teach, session to session. According to the syllabus, I'm supposed to talk further about plot. I could do this, since we only scratched the surface of the idea of plot last session, but I am contemplating whether or not I have ENOUGH I want to say about it. I have not yet drawn this set of students my inverted version of the rising tension arc, so there's that.  We've also not really discussed the various ways in which story structure can be decolonized, something I have a lot less experience with writing, but which I should probably mention?  I dunno. I may spend part of the afternoon reviewing some sources and decide if I have anything I actually want to say about any of it or if I just want to throw together a resource list and have the students do their own reading on the subject. 

Think. Think. Think, as Pooh Bear is wont to say. 

Anyway, that's me? I spent much of the weekend working on a sea-themed (mostly sharks!) quilt for a friend out in California. 

How's you? How was your weekend.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 The first thing I want to report is that I revised a short story I've been working on for a shared-world anthology, and have now sent it off to my second writers' group for critique. Hooray!

Secondly, it seems that my Loft Zoom class is finally settling into a good rhythm, I think. We had a great class last night, at any rate. I was actually able to prod people to talk, possibly because I like to teach plotting by using my own failures to create story as an example. I have a very specific story idea that should work, but refuses to gel that I will trot out for class. I think people generally like to offer advice, and so when I say, "Please help me fix this broken thing and let's talk about why it's broken," works actually fairly well as a method to get people to really think about what elements have to come together to start a story.

Then, I had them watch a YouTube video recording of Kurt Vonnegut talking about story plots, so we pretended we had a posthumous guest lecturer.  

The last half of the class was the first time we rolled up our sleeves and started critiquing and that went very well, as well. Like I say, a success all around.

In other news I am putting the finishing touches on the sheep + octopus quilt and then it will be on to the next one, which will be deep-sea themed.

deep sea fabric
Image: deep sea fabric
lydamorehouse: (ticked off Ichigo)
 Continuing the list of "Things That Probably Prove That I Have Never Grown-up," I absolutely FAILED to remember last night in class that adults are afraid of their own dumb ideas. I mean, I'm guessing? But, I suspect that's what happened.

Picture it: there I am writing up my notes for class lecture yesterday.  I feel especially clever because I am organizing my lecture about hooks/beginnings in a 5-W's fashion: Who, What, Where, When, Why (plus How.)  I get to the HOW part and I'm like, yeah, I could list examples of what it's like if you start with an image, dialogue, in the middle of the action, etc., OR I could pop open a whiteboard and see if the students can help me come up with on-the-fly examples.

Class notes, in which I realize, too late, that whiteboarding is a bad idea.
Image: Class notes, in which I realize, too late, that whiteboarding is a bad idea.

In class, as silence is stretching, I cross this off my notes and write in all caps "BAD IDEA!!"  I totally forgot that I am atypical. Not just of a human being, but especially of a Midwesterner/Minnesotan.  I will totally shout ideas from the back of the Zoom room with zero concern that they be any good. Most adults even when told "no idea is a bad one, let's just brainstorm," utterly freeze up and try to be a small, harmless animal who will no longer meet the eyes of the predator in the room, aka the teacher, ME.

OMG, what a disaster. I mean, at least it was only 15 minutes of excruciating silence and some technical difficulties. 

To be fully fair to my students, some of them did pipe up. Because I didn't require them to actually shout out their ideas, things did appear on the board now and again sort of mystically. It'd be like PAINFUL SILENCE, PAINFUL SILENCE, Me: "Oh, here's one! Ah, this is really good, thank you to whoever put this up... so, um, here's another one from me, I guess?"

But, WOW, it was not the energy building, bonding exercise I'd hoped for. 

I'm learning things! Just when you think you know everything about how to teach, the universe reminds you that, nope, you have to keep adjusting and shifting with each new classroom. 

I will say, though, that thanks to my super organized lecture notes, class went fairly well otherwise. The first half, anyway. I was expecting to need the full second hour of class to teach critique, but it turned out that I either didn't, or was not as good going off the cuff about it as I thought I would be, so we had a solid half hour at the end where I ended up just answering random questions about writing and submitting to agents and editors. I don't think that's terrible, but it always leaves me feeling like I was just scrambling and fumbling by the end. 

At least next class we will be starting workshopping in earnest, so there is hope that I will regain my student's respect after that.
lydamorehouse: (??!!)
 basket peace -- Rhubarb and Buttercup in the basket
Image: Rhubarb and Buttercup in the basket by all our fabric piles.

I don't know that I have a huge amount of news to report today, but, if you can't tell, I've been trying to post something every week day. I'm not talking about it as any kind of New Year's resolution, because I suspect that as soon as you label something that, you jinx it. So, forget I said anything. This is just a habit I've been trying to get into.  No pressure. No expectations.

Speaking of things like that, I am currently nearly at a 60 day streak in Duolingo. For those of you just tuning in, I have been trying to learn Japanese since.... what is it now? Forever? Yes, I think since forever. I am no closer now that I was when I started, I swear, but honestly, this has become a weird sort of hobby for me, much like quilting or drawing. Anyway, having a streak for this long is kind of new thing for me. I've stayed at Japanese for a long time, but I tend to not be great at a daily habit. So, this is exciting. Did I also tell you that I found a podcast that proports to teach me Japanese while I sleep? Yeah, I don't really think it will work either, but I also don't see how it can hurt me.

In other news, I just locked our escape artists (pictured above, Buttercup) into the bedroom because we are about to have a handyman come by and.... Ope! He's here. That's exciting. He's going to (hopefully) be fixing a drain we broke mumblely-mumblely years ago. If he can do it, it will be super lovely to have an upstairs bathtub available again. It's our clawfoot. We have another bath, but I have two very long-legged people in this house (or rather, often do, with Mason off at college again,) and the other tub is less comfy for them. I'm fine? But I could probably bathe in a washtub, I'm so short. I make up for my stubbiness by being round, so maybe not.

Tonight is my class, also, which I was smart and prepped BEFORE the handymen came. I mean, I could probably do some now, but it's always so distracting when people are in the house, banging around. Like, just now, trying to remember which circuit goes to which rooms of the house is very ??? in our 100+ year old place. 

But, anyway, it's good that we're getting this done, finally. 

Class will be interesting tonight. It's hard to gauge participation since, while I "assigned" homework, I made it clear that nothing had to be turned in. So, people may have done the assignment outside of Google classroom. I guess I'll find out when I ask. Two out of five people officially turned things in, so maybe that's also not a bad participation rate? If one other person half-assed it, that's 50%.  

Sigh.

How are you? How was you weekend?
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 My octopus quilting panel
Image: My octopus quilt panel. (And yes, before you ask, we ARE still receiving discs from Netflix.) 

Tonight is my first Loft class. I got a note on Saturday that I achieved the magical SIXTH  student. When last I wrote, I was up to five, I believe. Five had made my class considered 'low attendance, viable," but six is the magic number needed to make it "regularly  viable." This only important to the Loft and how I get paid. The Loft has weird rules.

After dropping Mason off at the airport for his flight back to Wesleyan University in Connecticut, I have been organizing my thoughts for the first class. 

I find it pretty fascinating that these days, when I say I have a class I'm teaching at the Loft, a lot of my friends will ask, "So what are you teaching?" as though I might be teaching something other than how to write science fiction and fantasy. To be fair to my friends, I could be teaching something hyper-specific, like, I dunno, "developing characters for a cyberpunk world," but, alas, I'd say it's just the same old, same old, except it's never that, even when I'm going over some of the same material I've been teaching for years. The thing about my teaching style is that it is highly flexible. I always have a syllabus, of course, but my first entry in the syllabus is "this syllabus is a lie," because my goal is ALWAYS to tailor the class to the student's needs. I am hoping that with six people we can form a solid, highly participating group of people all working out how the magic of writing is accomplished together.

We'll see how it shakes out.

Anyway, wish me luck with that. I am feeling strangely unsettled about the class, probably since the last time I taught via the Loft it was such an utter disaster. (see: summer teen class.)

Otherwise, I've been feeling a yen to draw again, ironically inspired by a minor kerfuffle going on over at Facebook, which caused me to post a side-by-side comparison of one of my favorite redraws of one of Tite Kubo's panels from Bleach. Now, I'm like, jeez, I should get back into all that. The hardest part, of course, is finding time to draw. On the other hand, now that I've figured out how to print my own, I can totally use my postcard project as my excuse to do some original art.

I started this post with a picture of my current quilting project. I'm actually adding these octopus panels to a quilt that is already populated with sheep, since I am hoping that it turns out well enough to gift the quilt to my friend Eleanor, who writes a lot about Icelandic sheep and, of course, octopuses. 

That's kind of everything. Anything interesting going on in your lives??
lydamorehouse: (Aizen)
My set has been having a lot of discussion about a Twitter thread that popped up a few days ago by S Qiouyi Lu: https://twitter.com/sqiouyilu/status/1560229177915166720 that was at least partly inspired by this Tor.com article: "The Ghosts of Workshops Past..."

I never went to Clarion, so I can't comment on that experience, but I've been teaching writing with a heavy focus on "workshopping" at the Loft for over twenty years now. I have a lot to say about the Milford style, as it's called. 

If you're unfamiliar with the term Milford when applied to critique, it's got a few basic "rules." The author stays silent (the "gag rule") while the critiquers speak.  Each person reads/says their critique, out loud, and is limited by some amount of time, typically five or ten minutes, depending on the class size. Sometimes the critique facilitator will use a bell or a buzzer to move to the next person. At the end, the author gets a chance for a rebuttal, but it, too, has a strict time limit. 

This model has been under fire lately for a lot of good reasons. I've attended an Anti-Racist Workshopping lecture through the Loft (actually taught by the woman who wrote the book referenced in the Tor.com article) and I've been thinking about changes I can implement in my classroom over the last several months since. I will get to those, in a bit, because first, however, what I want to talk about is my sense that one of the big failures of Milford isn't NECESSARLY inherent in its structure, but my sense that there are facilitators, instructors, teachers, and professors out there NOT doing their jobs. 

This article from 2019, "Unsilencing the Writing Workshop" is also going around, but I could only get a few paragraphs in before I blew a gasket. The readers of this person's submission got lost in the weeds about dim sum. It's insane to me that they didn't know what dim sum is, but it is ERGREGOUS that they spent so much time debating it. Reading the description of that moment gave me flashbacks to moments like this in critiques I've had, etc., but it also triggered my inner writing instructor who would have broke into that bullshit and said, "Chad! Stop talking! This is not constructive. You don't have good friends who take you out to yummy food and I'm deeply sorry about your life, but it's time to talk to Beth about character, setting, plot, and STOP CIRCLING THIS PARTICULAR DRAIN."

And that just made me wonder, in all of this talk about Clarion experiences and critique, WHERE are the instructors?

First of all, they should be teaching people how to not do this terrible stuff.

There is mistaken idea out there (which has a corollary in writing in general) that anyone who reads can critique. (The corollary being that anyone who can string sentences together can write effective prose). Critiquing well is actually a skill set that needs to be learned with the same kind of care given to learning the craft of writing. 

An instructor should be doing a bunch of things before the first critique session, not the least of which is setting up expectations.

When I teach my writing class, I spend the first half of the class before our first critique explaining not only the nitty gritty of how it will work (like, who hands out when, how long a piece can be, what the requirements for class are, etc.,), but then also talking about expectations. Some of the expectations I tell my Loft students before they begin to write critiques are things like: I expect you to help this author write the best story that they are trying to write, not the story you would write. We talk about this one often for a long time, because it's important to understand how to meet someone where they are.  I really think that this goes a long way toward decolonizing the classroom, because if you remind students that their job is to help the writer tell their story effectively, you are shifting the focus away from some "idealized" version (which is often bland, white, middle class, MFA writing) towards a personal expression of someone's own authentic story, in their own voice. 

Likewise, I tell my students that as part of helping people tell the story they are trying to tell, I expect them to read all the genres that are handed out, even if they're not ones that they particularly like or even feel they understand the rules of. However, I tell them that they can start a critique of a mystery story, for instance, by saying "I am not normally a mystery reader..." and then try to talk to the author about the basic story things that worked, i.e., "the dialogue felt very natural," or didn't, i.e., "The description of the murder scene was confusing because I could not picture how the body was positioned and that seemed to be critical to the detective solving the crime." 

In my class, because I teach working adults, I also tell them that they are always allowed to say "pass" when critique comes to them. What I say is, "We are all adults here. Sometimes life interferes." Then, I explain that I will never ask them why they are passing and no one else is allowed to either. I am explicit, though, that it's actually OK to use a "pass" for stories that triggered something for them or in a case where they just could NOT figure out how to tackle what was wrong in a piece. I caution them, though, at this point, that while it okay to "pass" when necessary, this class runs on the idea that you get out of the class what you put into it. So, if your critique every time is either pass or "it was okay, I guess," then you can't expect more than that from your colleagues when your story is up for review.

I also have some other expectations that I feel make the critiques run more smoothly. One is that we don't waste time on grammar or spelling errors. My class happens once a week, so people have a lot of time to read and mark-up (either on the actual paper if we are meeting in person and handing out or electronically,) and so they are allowed to red ink as much as they like on the person's manuscript. But, they can only mention grammar or spelling in passing if they feel that it got in the way of the story. It can NOT be the focus of their critique. I remind them if they are aiming for professional publication grammar and spelling are the purview of the copyeditor anyway. Editors and writers do not sweat the small stuff. 

I tell them they don't have to repeat anything six other people have said. They can just acknowledge that they had the same issue and move on. 

I always remind them of the golden rule, which, in this case, translates to: talk to someone about their writing the way you want to be talked to about yours. Always assume best intentions (that bit of sexist dialogue might have been an honest mistake or blind spot and not malicious intent, after all!) and always assume the author is as smart as you are (yes, they know ain't ain't a word, but are using it intentionally here for effect), speak to them from that place.

Then, after we talk about all these expectations, I ask them if they have questions or concerns. We set up what kind of critique environment we want together.  Often, students want to know if they can add an artist's statement on the front of their story or novel excerpt to help forestall some issues, ala, "I am writing wet Venus. I know the science is bad, but I'm going for a retro, space opera vibe..." and can they ask people to answer specific questions, like, "I am experimenting with not saying what gender Captain Xanoth is, does it work for you?" THIS IS ALWAYS OKAY in my classroom. 

Again, this was one of those things that was discussed in my Anti-Racist Workshop that I would have thought was kind of standard, which is allowing students the freedom (and responsibly) to direct the kind of feedback they're looking for by being able to frontload these questions before people even start thinking about critiquing.

Then, after all of this... and it is usually a full hour of discussion... we start talking about how to critique effectively. I talk about an approach that I learned long ago that still works surprisingly well, which is, if you have the time, read the manuscript twice. The first time, read it like you would any story. When I am marking-up stories on paper, I will use a different color ink for each read, and so my first read comments will be things like "Ah. The villain is on scene," sometimes followed by "Wait, she's not the villain... okay, are there two villains??" and the kinds of random thoughts you go through as you read. I tell my students that it may seem silly, but it can be really helpful for the author to know what people are thinking as they read, like if they are trying to guess ahead on a story with a mystery revealed, like when do they start picking up the clues. 

The second read is the red pen read. I think about how, now that I know the ending, how well that ending is reflected in the beginning (of the short story or novel chapter, if appropriate.) Now that I have a sense of who these characters are, I look at their dialogue and offer suggestions about whether or not there are ways in which that could be done more effectively to imply the personalities of those people. Like, you find out half way through someone is a doctor, maybe there's a way to signal that earlier with how they talk about certain things, etc. 

 I also require my students to write up a summary of their thoughts that follow a very specific structure: first impressions, strengths, weaknesses and a final impression. The idea here is that you have a summary! There's no way to waste your ten minutes (if you have to be on a strict schedule) floundering around trying to say something substantive.

The reason I have them start with strengths is for a reason, too. Part of learning to workshop is learning to hear what is wrong with what you've been trying to do, and I find that's impossible if you have no sense that you did ANYTHING right. If you start with the good stuff, "I loved that moment when Aunt May told Peter that she thought the secret in his closet was chiffon!" then when you inevitably have to say, "This is Spider-Man fan fic? It's never going to sell to Uncanny" that latter part lands more solidly in the author's head. Also, I think this structure helps delineate the space between unnecessarily cruel and brutally honest. If you've told someone that you really like the way they do dialogue, then it's a bit easier to have a frank discussion about that one moment of sexism? 

I assign homework that teaches people questions they can ask themselves when critiquing for the first time. I always point them to this marvelous resource: https://web.archive.org/web/20190820204915/http://www.crayne.com/howcrit.html

If I have not gone overtime in my class, I will sometimes just go through some of the questions on Victory's list to show people examples of the kinds of things they can ask themselves while doing that second read-through.

The last thing I want to say is that MY JOB AS WRITING INSTRUCTOR does NOT stop here. You do not then get to abdicate responsibility as the facilitator or instructor. I always set up the first critique session by saying "This is the only time I will go first. I have found that when an instructor leads critique, the critique that follows is often a lot of 'ditto' because people are afraid to express opinions that run counter to the instructor's and that's actually not useful? An author needs to honestly hear everyone's impression. BUT, I will lead the first time because students need to understand the level, tone, and rigor I expect." Then, even when I start go last, I have my finger over the mute button if I need to stop someone and yell, "Chad! Enough with the micro-aggressions. You have talked enough about how you think dim sum must be 'something Asian, maybe?'  We will have a discussion at the top of the next class that explains why that's not okay. I'm sure you were just trying to find something to say in critique, but this is not actually helpful anymore. If you have something ELSE to say about the story structure or dialogue to Beth, please do. If you don't have anything more of substance to say, we are moving on to Carol..." 

THAT'S MY DAMN JOB.

If you are a signing up to be a facilitator and not a teacher, it's STILL YOUR DAMN JOB. 

It's really hard, but teaching, like critique, is something you have to learn to do well. 
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 Empty classroom awaiting young minds to warp
Image: empty classroom awaiting young minds to warp

I thought I should continue the saga of my on-going class of young, middle school writers. I am beginning to suspect that Kelsey is actually far, far more prepared than I am. The problem with letting the class self-direct is that sometimes we are fairly directionless until I pull us back into focus.

Every time I ask my students about their afternoon, it sounds quite creative and lovely, honestly. The only complaint I get is that it's really not about science fiction or fantasy, only about writing in general. (WHICH, yes, Loft, I could have told you that kids are savvy enough to notice this!)  At any rate, apparently, yesterday afternoon, my rival had several clever prompts centered around working in all five senses into writing. There are a number students that clearly appear to favor my rival, (two girls, specifically,) but I have made peace with that because, honestly, it's good that everyone is getting SOMETHING that they are enjoying out of this class.

I'm pretty sure that if the parents sat in on my half of the class and compared it to the second, they would also prefer my rival's style. As I heard the first day, after all, her style is "more like school." Mine is, "okay, but WHY are stories satisfying? How do you make 'and they all died' into the kind of ending you would actually want to read in a book?" (These were the questions we tackled today.)

Also, when my students complained that they wanted far more than twenty minutes to write and I asked them, "Well, how long do you want?" at 10 am, they said, "Can we just write the rest of the class?" Looking around to make sure that was, in fact, the consensus, I only saw desperate nods and pleases...

And so I said yes. Yes, of course we can.

I set aside everything else I had planned, we all hunched over our various writing implements, and wrote for an hour and a half. I am pretty sure parents looking in on that would be thinking, "I paid how much for this??" 

I also copied down a cooperative story that the class wrote yesterday in my half of the day. (We actually had two rival stories. The red, serious one, and the blue, crazy one. My challenge tomorrow is to write down the much longer, much more nonsensical blue story.) I contributed one line, though not the first. (I will highlight my contribution below.)

the story that came from young amazing (warped) minds
Image: The story that came from amazing (warped) minds.

Here's the transcription:

 
A soft glow illuminated the cold chamber.

A woman sat in the corner, clearly distraught.

Her arms cradled a small bundle.

Peeking inside, the woman saw that the flowers in the bundle had stopped singing.

She clutched them to her chest, praying for even a small squeak to come from the bundle.

As the piercing silence went by, the woman started to change.

Her eyes began to glow and her lips parted.

Fear grasped her chest and her stomach dropped,

She doubled over, a piercing pain rising in her gut and a foul bile dripping from her mouth. 

“Ahhh,” she screamed, as the first layer of the room filled up.

The flowers began to shrink around her. 

Her skin withered and turned gray and she collapsed to the floor, eyes lifeless and drowning in her own stomach fluids.

Tears flowed for the realization that the death that approached was something she could not accept.

She flailed at the bile on the floor, struggling to raise herself to her feet.

“Please, please sing,” she sobbed, as if the flowers could understand.

Her hand raised as if she wanted to grab the flowers, but, really, she was begging.

“The curse,” she sobbed, “Why did I ask for it?”

With the last of her immortal power, she chanted, “Ho ta hoo tavi hoo t vi ah tanau.”

As if by a miracle, the bundle burst into flames, a cacophony of floral voices burning in the crimson heat.

In unison with her weak voice, they chanted and chanted until dawn broke.

* * *

Thousands of miles away, I woke up to a room full of flowers singing.

And it begins again,


THE END…?
 

So basically, this was written by everyone, each person getting to write one of the lines. If you ignore the bile filling the room, it's actually quite clever. I was fascinated that this particular team chose to get consensus. They talked to each other about what could be happening with the flowers, "Was it a curse? What were they doing? Why was she changing?" and this is what they spontaneously decided.

I love these kids.
lydamorehouse: void cat art (void cat)
 Many of you have been following the saga of my class at the Loft in the access-only bits, but I think I can bring this story out into the light of day now, since I have mostly positive things to say about how the class went. 

I am still very thrown by how casual the Loft has been, in general.

Like, no one met me when I got to Macalester, which is kind of amazing, given that this is the first time anyone from the Loft has used this venue. Similarly, there was no reminder sent with classroom information or a campus map or guide to parking. I ended up having to find all of that on my own, which... was FINE? But, kind of goes to my general complaint here.

I will say that despite some assurances by the Loft that I might actually see the program coordinator, I never did. She did, however, change the course description as I had asked, to be clearer about how the students' day will be structured. https://loft.org/classes/summer-youth-week-one-not-just-zombie-apocalypse-more (go to the very end.) 

In fact, one of the students' parents pulled me aside and said, "It kind of looks like there are two different programs here? My son is really only interested in science fiction, can he leave halfway through?" I told this parent, "You absolutely can." Because I don't see why they couldn't? To be fair to this dad, I'm pretty sure that particular child will beg to stay because I noticed that he, in particular, seemed to be having a very good time? We will see what happened tomorrow.

But, okay, the class went pretty well. Like a lot of Loft classes, students kind of drifted in anywhere between a half hour PRIOR to class and a half hour after class had started. This is just how Loft classes are for some reason? But, that did dilute my ability to be super clear with everyone about how their day will go, but I think enough of them got it not only once, but twice. 

After that? I just did what I normally do, which is wing it. I asked everyone to do introductions and pronouns and a conversation just naturally started around the question "Why are most protagonists actually the character you like the least? Like, why are they so stupid?"  Because, narratively, there is a reason for that, right? Like, the main character is often the person who is introducing a science fictional or fantasy world to the reader and if they are an outsider or kind of dumb about their world, that's an opportunity for the readers to learn what THEY need to learn, but through the protag's eyes. I could see some lights actually going on in the room already at this point, so that was gratifying. I then played "a game" that I basically made up on the spot in which we talked about another problem that some main characters have, which is that they're kind of overpowered and how you can solve that problem in the design phase, if you consider the "cost of magic." So we listed superpowers on one half of the board and "costs" on the other and had fun matching them up in silly ways, and then I asked them to write a story either based on the prompts (or, as it happens, anything they liked.)

I floundered a bit after that because I really like the class to be self-directed and so it took us all a bit of time to figure out what else might be a fun topic to tackle. I tried talking to them about story structure, but that seemed to lose them a bit.

So, I hopped over to hooks. We came up with a bunch of different types of hooks: opening lines of dialogue, an action or an image, and a question. This was fun because some students went hyper specific and some went broad.  This one seemed to be the thing that pulled them in the deepest. So, clearly what they like is coming up with story prompted based around some part of writing (like, in this case opening hooks) and then getting a chance to write on that topic. Since they were so deep into this one, I tried one as well. (At the ends of these classes I always end up with a ton of half-started stories based on various prompts.)

I ended the class with two rousing games of sentence stories (you know the one, where you build on the previous sentence), which everyone seemed to enjoy.

As for the make-up of my class, it's mostly young women. This has been an interesting demographic shift. When I first started teaching SF/F (almost *cough* 20 years ago), I was often the only woman in the room. Now, it's the men who are in the minority. Not surprisingly, a fairly large number of students  also used they/them pronouns (though they all seemed surprisingly flexible? There were a number of she or they, for instance.) There were small number of visible POCs? At least two of the young women had Southeast Asian given and surnames and another had a typically East Asian surname. So, the Loft is diversifying a bit more than it has in the past, though it's still not doing great with only three out of twelve. 

That's the other last thing of note. As is typical, I picked up two extra students last minute. So, I have an even dozen. 

I met the other teacher at noon. I mean, she seems nice? I wasn't expecting her to be sprouting horns or anything, but, yeah, I have no idea how things are going at the end of the day here, but I'm sure it will be FINE. To be fair, one of the first questions one of my students asked me is, "Is this going to be like school?" And, I said, "Yes and no. I will try to impart some knowledge, but there are no assignments or quizzes and nothing I ask you to do is required."  It seemed to be the general consensus, too, that what they wanted was more of a summer camp vibe, but that's still easy enough for me to provide. 

The bonus of being an on-the-fly teacher who doesn't have any requirement to impart any real or lasting information is that I can just be like, "Games? Sure, let's just do games!"
lydamorehouse: (Renji 3/4ths profile)
Last weekend was CONFABulous. I had a good time? I feel badly because, on the only panel that I was on, I was the least expert person on a two-person panel. There was a lot of, "Oh? I haven't read that!" which... I mean, was probably fine, but I did feel a bit like a goofball. I will say that my colleague, Jason Tucker, admirably picked up the slack, so I think, overall, it went very well. The panel may still be available to watch on YouTube, I have no idea.

The Thirsty Sword Lesbians game was a lot of fun, too. CONFABulous being the usual Gaylaxicon crowd meant that there was a dearth of obvious real life (tm) lesbians, but that didn't actually bother me in the least since one can not say what is in the hearts of the players. Goddess knows that I used (and use) RPGs as way to feel out all sort of things, not the least of which is getting to hear the pronouns I might prefer. The scenario I apparently cajoled [personal profile] tallgeese into running was the Les Beans coffeeshop collective, because, frankly, I wanted to know if you could actually have fun playing "let's fight the forces of gentrification." The answer appears to be a resounding YES! So, that was well worth it.

I'm a little concerned about this weekend's WindyCon, because I just got an email from them noting that they were planning on refunding virtual attendees since they were cutting down the virtual events.... um, given that I ASSUME I am part of said virtual events, this makes me a little nervous. I mean, it's kind of not a problem if I suddenly have the weekend to do weekend things instead of participating in a virtual con?  I guess we'll see what happens. 

In the meantime, out of the blue, I have decided to run a workshop on fan writing at Q-Quest 2021. On a Discord that I'm part of someone was looking for swag items for this event and I lamented that all my published work is kind of straight.... and then the next thing I knew I was sending in a proposal and a form to do a background check. I kind of don't quite know what happened, particularly since I basically just booked myself on my birthday. But, I think it will actually be fun. I am always happy to represent the Ancient Ones to the queer youth of today. I mean, in the case of the middle schoolers, it is possible that I came out (in 1987) before their parents were even born. 

It's been kind of a wild day so far. Because I also had to revise my description for a class I'll be teaching (if people sign up) at the Loft this winter (starting in January.) So, there has been a lot of work throwing itself at me today.

Otherwise, I didn't post yesterday or the day before because I've been writing non-stop on my lesbian novel. I had a needed epiphany and that kind of put me into high gear (which is good, since the deadline LOOMS LARGE.)

I should probably say something about things I've been reading, since it's that day, but right now I've got nothing.

How are you??


lydamorehouse: (writer??)
 The Loft has managed to fix the glitch, sot that's good news.

Meanwhile, I have been writing up a STORM... because, of course, I should be working on critiquing my student's entry for this week. I swear to all the gods that I only ever do my best writing when something else is due. At least I am catching up to where I left off. I am writing the current project without an outline and I had an epiphany about a character that made me have to go back and revise a LOT. So, I have finally mostly caught up to where I was before I jettisoned a huge section of the book.

On the other hand, it's so much better and I finally have a strong sense of who these people are and what they're fighting for, as it were.

A strange thing that has happened since Mason has gone off to college is that I find myself with a whole lot of time and... I don't understand where this time is coming from. He was never a burden. I didn't spend all my time driving him around or taking care of him or any of that stuff, but suddenly I just seem to have this huge amount of space to get things done in. It feels oddly reminiscent of when the pandemic started and time stopped having meaning. I mean, not THAT bad, but I remember thinking during lockdown how LONG days had become, and I am really feeling that again. 

It's sort of nice?

Shawn and I have also found time to do some rearranging and pruning of the house, which has added to this sensation, I think. We've gone back to eating dinner at a ridiculously early hour, too. 

Anyway, back to writing!
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 For reasons known only to the Loft (probably cost saving,) they host the back end portion of their Zoom classes on Google Classroom. I find Google Classroom to be somewhat opaque and annoying, but what has me stressed this morning is a problem that came down late last night. 

I got a panicked email from a student who had been diligently working away on an assignment in Google Docs. As she herself said, she is very familiar with Docs and how it works and so she didn't bother saving it... because Google Docs does that for you. Even so, she had noticed it doing its usual "...saving" thing. Right, so, she put in all her work on the assignment (a critique of another student's work) and closed up. Having had a secondary thought after that, she went to add it... and no longer seemed to have access to the document she was working on. She couldn't, in fact, find it AT ALL.

This stymied me for a long time until I remembered that the way I create assignments is that I upload the critique piece into the shared Google Classroom Folder and then send it out to each student by having Google Classroom's mechanism create a copy for each student. I thought, "Ah, my student doesn't realize that her work is being stored in the shared classroom folder and not on her personal Google Docs. I'll just go find it for her and point her to how to retrieve it."

EXCEPT.

When I went to open up the Classroom's Google Folder, I found myself barred. At least on the instructor's end, I got a message that said, "This folder has been moved to trash. To access files, have the owner of the folder restore it." I was initially like... WHO THE HELL IS THE OWNER, IF NOT ME?? Turns out, the answer is: a Loft staff member who no longer works at the Loft.

I wrote a very panicked email myself now, to the Loft, begging them to have that former employee restore the folder and for god's sake NOT TO DELETE THEIR ACCOUNT because it would end my access to probably everything that's on the cloud as well, since they are the owner of it all, not me.

I woke up to a reply from someone who is supposed to be out of the office until tomorrow, so apparently I write panic very well. They didn't quite understand my problem because I don't think that other instructors use assignments the way I do. I like to protect the anonymity of my students wherever possible and Classroom can send out copies to everyone without me having to generate an email (which I would still bcc everyone one, but you know, it's another layer for people who want/need that sort of thing.) But, obviously, there are work arounds if they can't restore the folder to us. It doesn't seem to affect any documents that I have stored on my own Docs, so no class materials generated by me are affected. The only thing we wouldn't be able to do is use Classroom to generate assignments.

It's probably never come up before because I suspect most Loft teachers don't even use Classroom, much less do a deep dive like I do into all the functionalities. I guess this if only because the Loft is forever sending very simple "how-to"s on what Google Classroom EVEN IS whenever I say, yes, please, I would like a Classroom set-up for me. I do wish they'd let us do it ourselves, but we also have to use their Zoom license, and I guess the point is to teach through them, after all, and not just GO ROGUE which is what I'd honestly like to do.

At any rate, the Loft is, at least, working to have it restored, one way or the other. I am hoping they can transfer ownership to someone who is not the FORMER employee, but honestly if that person could just keep it out of their trash until Nov. 3 when the class is over is really all I need.

So, that's been MY MONDAY! How's by you?
lydamorehouse: (ichigo hot)
 Tonight, I'm teaching via the Loft. My class is "Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy: A Window into New Worlds." 

I would not normally name my class something so inane and undescriptive, but the Loft signal boosts any class that follows their semester "theme" and this time it was something to do with windows, ah, here it is:... https://loft.org/events/loft-themes, Outside My Window.

At any rate, the class was nearly cancelled, but somehow, last minute, an extra student squeaked in. So I have, like, five people signed up for a Wednesday night, eight week class. The Loft, in their infinite wisdom, always lets me know when classes are viable about a week before things are a go. And so last Wednesday I spent some time frantically organizing my Google Classroom (and trying to remember what I'd set up for my syllabus.)  I am going to try to spend part of my day organizing my thoughts, as well, but my class doesn't start until 6 pm, so I have some time to get my house in order, as it were.

I mean, I have to propose these classes months in advance, so at ONE POINT, I knew what I was doing. I just have to refresh my mind and make sure I have all my ducks in a row for tonight.

Meanwhile, I've been making good progress on what was once my Space Lesbians novella, which is now just a novel that needs a name. I realized yesterday when I drove out to go get bread for sandwiches that I really needed to STOP trying to revise a section that was in the secondary characters POV of Lucia DelToro. I needed to cut it and rewrite it from scratch. Thing is I ended up really finding her voice when I dumped in a new chapter 2 and trying to line-by-line adjust the voice of chapter 4 just wasn't working. I mean, the good news is that I write this new voice very quickly because I like it, you know?  Like, I don't know how anyone else writes, but when a character is working for me it's because I can get into their head, fully. Like, I almost feel the weight of their body when I write their words. Some kind of weird extreme imaginary empathy, I guess.

So when I'm when I'm not trying to figure out class tonight, I hope to be writing more DelToro. At some point this late morning, I have to go collect our half-share CSA. BY CHANCE, I remembered in Spring that we would not need a full Fall share with Mason off to college. so hopefully Shawn and I can consume the amount of veggies coming our way today. I think we can. I'm only sad to see that the full share is finally getting the "fun" veggies this time (river spinach!) and half-shares are not. However, without Mason, I don't know who else will even try eating my weird concoctions. Shawn is NOT an adventurous eater, particularly when it comes to vegetable matter.

In fannish news, when we visited the Jacksons in Lansing, Michigan, they included us as family in their Disney + subscription (thanks again, guys!!) and so I have been absolutely BINGING on all the MCU stuff. I immediately watched all of Loki, which I pretty adored from start to finish, and then gobbled up WandaVision, which I found... fascinating, though maybe not in the way intended. Shawn decided she would like to watch Falcon and Winter Soldier with me, so we've started that. (Y'all, I'm a long time comic book reader, so I already knew the second we got his name that the "new" Captain America is actually a villain that I know as Super Patriot.) 

Today is Wednesday, but the only reading I can report was a 4-choma manga called Roaming the Apocalypse with my Shiba Inu (https://mangakakalot.com/read-de5yz158504947835). It's weird and cute, and I totally recommend it to anyone who likes slice-of-life apocalypse stories.... which, hey, [personal profile] rachelmanija if you liked Giant Spider & Me: A Post-Apocalyptic Tale, you might like this one.

So, that's me?

How's you? Reading anything fun or interesting or challenging?

====
UPDATE: Now I have eight students (which seems a tad more reasonable) and, turns out, I was not so smart. We got a FULL share. On the other hand, water spinach!
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 Even though it's April Fool's day today really is my wife's birthday.  

I just made her favorite dinner and in about an hour, we're going to eat the cake we bought this morning at Cafe Latte. I bought her two things she asked for and one surprise. She asked for a bunch of "fat quarters" for her quilt and I surprised her with one of those monthly subscription things, where you get a box full of random art supplies. She joked (and probably rightly so) that the art stuff was at least partly also for myself, but we still had fun this morning playing with the fancy watercolor ink they sent us.

If anything nice comes out of our experimentation, I will post it here.

Today is the first, so I also got a couple posts together (and a reading) for my Patreon.  What I'm finding amusing about this is that I actually don't mind doing the publicity stuff like writing the newsletter or making the video of myself reading. What I hate is promoting myself? Like actually pressing the button to put it out on various social media for people to find?  Ah, well, that's part of what one does, so I do it. 

Tomorrow I have my class... only three more to go on this 12-week monstrosity. It's been fun, actually? But, twelve weeks is a long class for the Loft--the longest they offer, in fact. 

We are also having an electrician come check out what is going on in our basement tomorrow. We have a 100 year old house and the wiring in the basement has decided to quit at various lightbulb points... but not all of them? So, that's concerning. Making the call to have someone come made me into one of those tweets where someone says, "It took me six minutes to do the thing I avoided for a month." But, it's done and scheduled and now we just have to spend a huge portion of tomorrow cleaning up the basement in prep.

Saturday I drive to New Ulm to get my second and final Pfizer shot. So that's a thing.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
So, it's Tuesday, which means I am getting ready for my class tonight.

I've actually had a busy week, so I haven't practiced as much. Plus, as I was telling Naomi via email, I've been really struggling over what to say this time.

The assignment should be easier than the previous one. All I have to do is come up with a couple of sentences that describes my family. I am SURE 88% of my class is not struggling with this at ALL--it's all very STRAIGHT forward for them, (pun intended!)

And, it's not that I feel at all weird or embarrassed or ashamed to say "my wife" either in English or Japanese  It's more that I feel like I want to say something more than the awkward mic drop of, "my family consists of three people: me, my wife, and my son." But, if you decide to watch the video, you'll know that, like, everything else that I came up to talk about is super awkward, too?? Maybe I should just chicken out and say: also we have three cats.



IF I had gotten my act together more, I would have polled all y'all to see what you think might be best.  However, given that I only have about four more hours until class starts, I have decided to bust out with the TMI option instead of the awkwardly sad option (see video for details.)

In other news, I had a good first class of my own, the one I taught on Friday. I do, in fact, have eleven (because there's always an add-on last minute) students and so that's a darned full class. I think it went pretty well, if I do say so myself. I find it's often really difficult to get people to engage via Zoom, but I managed some back-and-forth... not exactly discussion, but I asked questions that people actually seemed to want to answer. That was a major win from my point of view. It helps that the first class is basically all about talking about yourself and your writing habits.

The demographics of my class were shockingly binary.  I always, always open with asking people for name and pronouns and every single person in my class is using a binary option, so that's... weird. I'm hopeful that not everyone is straight, but that's not something I can ask. All I do in that regard is make it clear that I'm queer AF and hopefully vibe WELCOME, MY GAYS on high volume.

Despite being awkward about in Japanese, I'm pretty good at it otherwise.
lydamorehouse: (Aizen)
I should probably take some extra time to prepare for this Friday night, because I just got a gander at my class list and there are ten students signed up for my master writing class!

TEN!!

I don't normally get ten students when we can meet in person~!!!!!  

I suspect what caused this is that I have been teaching for the Loft for about 20 years, but I have never, in all that time, actually offered a class of a higher level than intermediate. Part of that is that I like working with newer writers--I love that moment when I can explain that out there, not that far away, your people are having conventions and getting to meet other SF writers and editors and agents and IT'S AWESOME. I feel like some kind of fannish Bible-thumper, asking, "Have you heard the Good News, Fellow Nerd!?"  I mean, more and more the younger writers already know about fandom, at least the small-f version, and, of course, locally CONvergence, in particular, has done a great job of finding the young kids and getting them interested in cons and capital-f, Fandom.  Still, I always reach a few new souls and THAT FEELS GOOD.

Anyway, my point and I did have one, was that I suspect the class filled up so thoroughly because I have lots of former students, but many of them have taken all of the levels I have previously taught.

In other class-related news, my speech went well in Japanese class. I, as you saw from the video, practiced, and practiced, and practiced until I could ALMOST sound natural. Apparently, I was one of the few who put this kind of effort in, which.... I mean, I guess it all depends on WHY a person is taking Japanese. Obviously, I am taking Japanese in order to make a complete prat out of myself. I would actually like to attempt to blather to barista and shop clerks and people at the train station about the weather and manga and stuff, should I ever actually be allowed to visit Japan in person, ever again. So, for me, conversation is part of what I am in it for.  But, I mean, if you're more into wanting to be able to read it or understand it, it probably isn't as critical to you to work on sounding natural-ish.  

Also, I am an extrovert and the class clown, so it was important to me to make Tetsuya-sensei laugh--which I managed! 

In fact, he seemed very impressed and said, "Wow, Lyda, you should put that up on your TikTok," and I was like, "Sensei, I am a 53 year old woman. I don't have a TikTok... though, thank you??" ('Cuz, I mean, my instructor is a very snarky guy, so he could actually have been telling me I sounded like a complete weeboo. mmmmmm, the more I think about this.... mmmmm, nice shade there, Sensei.  Now I feel both hurt AND proud of my performance.)

Next week, much, I am sure, to your horror, I will probably be posting one of my better takes of me practicing talking about my family. Be warned, Tetsuya-sensei told us to "be creative."

I apologize in advance for my excessive use of Japanese onomatopoeia. 

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