lydamorehouse: (Default)
Shawn's birthday 2025 
Image: This is what 58 looks like (on Shawn, anyway.)

Yesterday, no April Fools, was Shawn's birthday. Shawn decide that one of the things she really wanted was a bunch of meals out. So, we started the day at Day By Day Cafe on West 7th in Saint Paul. From there, we made a brief stop to pick up charcuterie (which will be tonight's meal--our family believes in Birthday Week Observed), and then off to S. R. Harris fabric wearhouse for some light shopping. Home for a while and then off to dinner at Bole, which is an Ethiopian restaurant in St. Paul. 

When Shawn was on the phone with one of her brothers, I heard her laugh and say, "Yes, we *do* really know how to whoop it up." 

Maybe this is something about being 58 (which I will also turn in mid-November) or maybe we've always been like this. SPOILER: it's the latter. 

Listen, you don't even understand how boring I am! I got so excited this morning to officially record my first snowfall, it wasn't even funny. But, you know, re-read that sentence. I was excited to record a snowfall on the CoCoRaHS page. I am, in fact, living the high life. 

Today is also Wednesday and I haven't gotten much read. I listened to several of the stories on the audiobook of Queers Destroy Science Fiction, but then kind of petered out on them for some reason. I haven't started the next book, though I did download another option (Please Report Your Bug Here, by Josh Riedel.) Ironically, I also went to the library on the day before Shawn's birthday (when we went out to eat also as part of the week long celebration, this time to--don't mock!--Red Lobster.) So, I have a literal pile of manga I should be reading, too. I just started one that Reactor (formally Tor.com) recommended called Touring After the Apocalypse. (<--pretty excellent so far, honestly.)

Anyway, I need to start getting wits gathered so that I can go pick up Shawn at work. Hope you all are doing well! 

PT Report

Jan. 20th, 2025 09:10 am
lydamorehouse: (ichigo irritated)
 SHAWN REACHED 0 INFLECTION! 

ALERT THE MEDIA!!!

Also, a flextion of 143 degrees, which the physical therapist felt was fairly unheard of. So, huge, huge, HUGE congrats to Shawn!!  I am both surprised and unsurprised given how insanely dilligent she is about her excercises at home. 
lydamorehouse: Renji is a moron (eyebrow tats)
 Mondays are our physical therapy days and Shawn was, once again, a star. Still holding steady at a 128 degree bend, but officially down to 2 degree straightness. Go Team Shawn!

While she was getting put through the paces, I hopped back in the car and got Mason and I some fancy coffee from our favorite local coffee shop. On the way back, I stopped at the post office. Our post office, in its infinite wisdom, is down one outdoor mailbox RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Thus, when I attempted to put my mail into the slot, it actually couldn't go. There were mail pieces sticking out, the post box was so full. I ended up having to park and run inside and put my mail through an inside slot. Crazy! It seems like an incredibly foolish time of year to remove one of the post boxes, considering Christmas is one of the few times most Americans send actual snail mail.

Shawn and I were home for about half hour before we had to take off again.

Unrelated to her knee, Shawn had a neurology appointment scheduled for today. She would have cancelled it, but they're booking out into February (or were when she considered cancelling, who knows how far out it is now?) Neurology, however, equals renewals on migraine meds. And if your name is Shawn Rounds, migraine meds are critical. So, despite having hauled ourselves to PT and back--not to mention Shawn being put through the paces at PT--we dragged ourselves back out into the car to drive to Maplewood (an inner-ring suburb of my city for my out-of-town and international friends.)

We picked up a takeout lunch on the way home.

Immediately after lunch, Mason and I got BACK in the car and got our Christmas tree. 

Now it's just after 4 pm and I feel exhausted. Luckily, we had already decided we'd get delivery pizza tonight. We don't normally eat both meals OUT like this, but it was kind of a crazy day and I think it's justified. 

I have some thoughts on my various roleplaying games on Saturday, but I think I'll make those a separate post.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 But the good news is that Shawn's recovery is proceeding apace. 

On Wednesday, she had her two week check-in with Dr. Herseth, the knee surgeon. Just even GETTING to these appointments is kind of its own challenge. Shawn officially graduated to a cane on Monday (according to her physical therapist), so that made some of our manuevering a LITTLE easier. But, there's just a lot of rigamarole to do to get her, her cane, and the walker (which we took in case she felt unsteady) into the car and then to get her, her cane, etc., deposited at the front door of the clinic. I still have to park, get the ticket, etc., and get to her.... and I swear to god that I walk ten steps to her one. 

Regardless, we had a good appointment. We were first seen by Dr. Herseth's assistant, Ryan. Ryan removed the bandage that Shawn's been wearing since the surgery (impregnated with SILVER to repell werewolves!) This was the first time we got a good look at her scar. We both remarked at how neat the stitches were. Ryan perked up and said, "Oh, be sure to tell Dr. Herseth that." I asked, "Why? Does he not get a lot of compliments?" Ryan smirked and said, "No. He doesn't do the closing. I do!"

Ryan checked Shawn ability to straighten her leg (she was close to 1 or 2 degrees, with 0 being perfectly straight). This was up even from Monday, when the physical therapist officially measured her at 4. Then he checked her ability to bend her knee. She was at 128 degrees.  Later, when the doctor redid these tests he, being very Minnesotan, raised his eyebrows, paused, and then drawled, "Well. I was going to tell you that you should be working to make that 90 degrees, but I guess you're ready for more advanced goals." <--for my out-of-state readers: THIS is a Minnesotan doctor losing his ABSOLUTE SH*T over how good Shawn is doing, just to be clear.

On Monday, the physical therapist apparently said to Shawn, "I wouldn't go posting your flex of 128 degrees on social media... unless you want your car keyed."

Dr. Herseth said her knee looked like it was more like it was in week three or even four, not two. 

This would be cause for celebration, but Shawn is having really intense nerve pain. Dr. Herseth's only response was, "Yep. That's going to happen. It will get better." He also agreed that the only real solution for it at the moment was continued (if judicious) use of oxycodone. Shawn very much would like to get off the oxy, but, on the other hand, because of all of her other medications, she really can't take very many other drugs for pain.  She is keeping very careful track of when and how much she takes, however. I don't think she's a big risk for addiction. 

For myself, I've been very slowly getting back to normal. Mason came home on Monday. He's technically in the middle of finals week, but he only has papers due (no tests), so he decided to come home early for the holidays to help out.

With Mason around, I felt comfortable leaving Shawn last night to go to Wyrdsmiths. We are trying to meet in-person again (with limited success.) Even though a number of people insisted that in-person meetings were THE BEST and they absolutely hated how isolated they continued to feel on Zoom... we're lucky to get half the group to even show up when we host in-person. I feel pretty f*cking vindicated that I insisted that we keep our second meeting of the month on Zoom because sometimes that's the only one everyone shows up to. I mean, I get it? I am very aware that it is a pain in the butt to leave the comfort of your own home, in the dark, on a Thursday night, in the middle of winter, drive the car halfway across town, sit around for several hours and then have drive home, in the dark, in the winter. THIS WAS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I knew we'd have attrition! Yet, even though I was fully against returning in-person, I have dragged my sorry a$$ to each and every one of these in-person meetings. I find it deeply ironic that the people who insisted it was so f-ing necessary for their mental health that we do this, can't seem to show up to a single one. 

/rant

Moving on.

Tomorrow, I have not one, but two gaming sessions planned. Saturday morning, I'm gathering the Reprised Drunk Girls* for my attempt at a manor house mystery D&D session. We'll see how that goes. As noted often, I'm a novice GM and a murder mystery can be kind of complex. Though really, if my plans fail and the party quickly sees through what I think are oh-so-clever clues, the whole thing just becomes whack-a-mole and we roll for initiative, as it were. Currently, I am MOSTLY prepared. The manor house and all its clues are set (that part has been done for months), but there are still a couple of out-building maps that don't yet have potential monsters. And with this crew? I need to be prepared in case they just decide to leave the main building and wander the grounds.

Plus, I had to add an oubliette once they decided to capture the Green Knight instead of killing him. I'd complain, but honestly that's the part of GMing that I like the best. 

Then, at 7pm on Saturday, I will be a player in our ongoing Star Trek campaign. My flighty former-Chief Science Officer has accepted a promotion to XO and, frankly, I am uncertain if he is actually up to the shift to command staff. I mean, technically as Chief Science Officer he was always part of the senior staff, but XO is a whole new ballgame for Ro. I, personally, have been prepping for this by watching WWII submarine movies and practicing shouting things like "all hands on deck!" "man overboard!" and "what's the scuttlebutt?!" I'm pretty sure that's also about as much as my character knows about how to lead a starship crew, so WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
lydamorehouse: use for Shawn's knee surgery (Bee's Knees)
Things are proceeding apace here at Chez Roundhouse.

At this very moment, Shawn is sitting at the dining room table sorting out short-term disability. This is a very "normal Shawn" activity, so we have, at least, reached the stage post total knee replacement surgery (right knee) where she can concentrate on things that are not solely PAIN MANAGEMENT. I will tell you? A few days ago, Shawn was really not sure today would ever, ever, EVER come.

Yesterday, I was able to be... somewhat of a participant for my bi-weekly podcast recording. I can't say that I was firing on all my cylinders, but I was upright and present and caffinated. That's what passes as close enough these days.

Also in the plus column: I know what day it is: Wednesday.

And, as it happens, one of the things that I've been able to do while playing Personal Care Attendant, is read a LOT of manga.  In reverse order of when I read them:

Telework Yotabanshi/Home Office Romance by Yamada Kintetsu. This was a very cute slice-of-life straight romance that features a Systems Engineer who is... Very Engineer, if you know what I mean. It's very rarely stated in manga, but I feel like if this were written by an American it would just be stated that our main character, Mitsuhashi, is on the autism spectrum. He likes to do things in his very thoughtful way and doesn't like change and isn't especially good at picking up social clues. It's not stated that this take place during the pandemic (possibly to make it more universal and less era specific), but his neighbor also is working at home--she is a perky, out-going  archeology grad student named Izumi. This one-shot follows their romance as it unfolds through various chance meetings, etc. It's VERY RELAXING. 

The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn’t a Guy at All by Arai Sumiko which has a new release from Yen Press this year. It's a yuri, which, oddly, I rarely read in part because.... well, actually the reasons are legion, but among other things, I prefer my romance between adults and so many of these are situated in high school. This one is, too? But, The Guy She Was Interested in... solves one of my other big problems with a lot of yuri, which is that I RARELY find the women in them attractive. Lesbians have a look that isn't conventionally attractive. The heroine in this one is actually dykish and that works for me. Not that this is a "sexy" yuri--so few of them are. It's honestly much more of a coming-of-age story. This manga is on-going, but I read all 100 chapters of it that I could find.

Just Like Mona Lisa (Vols. 1 & 2) by Yoshimura Tsumuji, which I straight-up hated, despite the fact that the premise should have been a gimme for me, in particular. It's a science fiction story set on an alternate Earth where everyone is born without a gender. Some time around 12, most people have decided which of the binary options suits them best and they pick one or the other and grow into that. Our main character, Hisane, is 17 and a half, and is still genderless. This is not a problem for them until their two best friends (one guy and one girl) confess on the same day. I hated this for a number of reasons, but the main one was that we also find out that there is no option for Hisane to stay nonbinary/genderless. All of the others who ever stayed genderless this long died. So it's kind of a "f*ck or die" trope only with gender and I abhor it.

Akane-banashi by Suenaga Yuki (art by Moue Takamasa), Volumes 1-3. If you've read or watched any of  Shōwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjū this is that, only high school. If not, rakugo is a traditional Japanese theater performance style that is basically a one-man show. There are traditional stories that get told and the performer uses nothing but his (or, more rarely her) voice and a simple prop, like a folding fan.  Akane-banashi is a Shounen Jump product and I can't tell if that means that if I watched it, I would eat it all in one gulp, or if I'm starting to feel like a lot of these "my super power is some ancient Japanese artform" manga/anime are starting to all taste the same, as it were. LIke, as I was reading this I very much felt pulled along and it was hitting all the right "she's a genius!" and yet "she must struggle!" notes, but then I put it down and was very...  I feel like I've read this basic premise a million times already.

Then, I read something EXTREMELY smutty called Can’t Think Straight by Pangin (art by Huddak). I've been describing this manhwa to people as "the roommate trope plus enemies to lovers." It's basically about a horribly homophobic straight guy and his gay roommate who through very unlikely circumstances become fuck buddies and then... sort of (at least where it left off) actual boyfriends. This is the WORST example of a redemption arc because the love interest (the straight guy) still has way too much to recover from when the two men are already moved in together and supposedly dating. Luckily, I did not read that one for that PLOT.

A much more adorable and realistic BL/yaoi that I read was That Blue Sky Feeling by Okura (art by Coma Hashii), Vols. 1-2. Okura also wrote I Think Our Son is Gay which is a very lovely story about a mother coming to terms with the fact that her eldest child is gay. That Blue Sky Feeling kind of follows a similar arc where the young protagonist meets the first gay guy he's ever known--a kid who is out in high school and suffering for it--and sort of falls VERY SLOWLY in love with him. (I mean, I am guessing? It is also more coming-of-age than anything else.) Weirdly, this is also a VIZ product, but there's something very charming and original going on here that I quite like.

Two Sizes, Too Small by Mizore is the final one that I read which I also can't entirely recommend. It's about a height gap, which normally I can relate to because I am 5'2" and Shawn is 6'1" but, sadly, this one veered into creepy territory because the smaller one looked very, very... child-like and I had to NOPE out hard once the romance heated up.

So, for me this is a LOT for one week, particularly when sometimes I have to confess to not having read ANYTHING. 

In other--sort of related--news, I lost my Duolingo streak. Ironically, Shawn has been able to keep hers up. My problem has always been that I tend to sneak my lessons in when I am out and about town or in a queue or whatever. Because Shawn is at home, I'm just not waiting in the car for her at the usual times and so I have completely forgotten to even open the app. I think that I bailed at just the right time because some friends of ours and Shawn have been discussing on WhatsApp the fact that Duo seems to have become more menacing and threatening than usual. Anyone else experieince that?

Anyway, that's us. Hopefully, now that Shawn seems to be returning to slightly more normal activities, so can I.
lydamorehouse: use for Shawn's knee surgery (Bee's Knees)
 Snce I may disuss Shawn's knee surgery a lot over the next several weeks, I thought I should make a special icon so that people who want to skip reading these can just immediately start scrolling on by. There may be other news intermixed, but if I'll try to attach this icon when the majority of what I'm talking about is knee surgery recovery stuff. 

Mason is home for Thanksgiving!

Given how well Shawn is doing, we probably actually COULD have hosted Thanksgiving, but who knows? The nurses all reminded us that it "will get worse before it gets better." So, perhaps, we are currently fooling ourselves to the extent to which Shawn can continue to basically function much like a normal person who needs a walker. Perhaps some big crash is forthcoming. But, fingers crossed, it's been mostly good, so far. Pain, yes, but it helps--I GUESS--that pain has always been Shawn's constant and persistant companion and so she's able to do a lot of sitting up, exercises, and even lots of walking around, etc (with a walker, of course.)

But, she does need a "spotter" and for someone to fetch and carry, and so I am actually very grateful that Mason is here until Monday because I can escape for a bit and go nap. My sleep was very interrupted with the (very reasonable!) need for pain pills, help to get up and down to pee, and all that sort of thing.  We have set up a day bed for Shawn downstairs and I am sleeping, per usual, in the master bedroom upstairs, so this means we are communicating via cell phone.... and I don't think I finished a single dream last night.

Still. I can't complain.

She's doing so, so well. I am super impressed with her progress. 

We have a turkey defrosting in the fridge because, as we keep staying, it's not like we don't still have to eat! But, we have decided to delay our feast by a day. We'll be trailing behind the rest of the US (and, of course, FAR behind Canada) by a day. Still, it's our holiday. We'll eat when we want to, eat when we want to.... 

Speaking of food, I think I agreed to make a pot pie for dinner tonight. That's part of what's been exhausting. It's all of the Shawn help that I've been doing, PLUS the usual mantaince of food and dishes and laundry... I'm pooped. 

In fact, I am going to sign off to nap. Thanks again to everyone who gave us well wishes.
lydamorehouse: (Renji 3/4ths profile)
 For those of you who want the tl:dr synopsis/spoilers: Everything went swimmingly. The surgery was a success and Shawn's pre-surgery PT has proven to have been well worth every minute of it.

And now for the whole story, start to present....

cut for length )

lydamorehouse: (Default)
 Shawn's surgery is scheduled for today at 1:15 pm (we are supposed to be at the hospital at 11:15 am). Because of all of Shawn's various complications, we are opting to do this at United Hospital as overnight, rather than as day surgery. 

I'm hoping to be able to keep posting from time to time during her recovery, but if I disappear for a couple of weeks, know that I'm just busy being a PCA to my beloved wife.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 Shawn is working until 5 pm tonight. This is her last day at work before the knee surgery (T-4 days!) and the bosses are getting their money's worth before she goes on extended leave. 

I've been working through the big list of Things To Do that she left on the piano for me. I've crossed off almost everything, including taking the air-conditioner out of the sun room window (by myself!). Today, I picked up some cookbooks that the Roseville Library had set aside for the history center. While I was out there, I drove through a Free Farmer's Market (Keystone) and I now have a small set of unidentifiable vegetables on kitchen table. I think they are turnips, but, honestly, they might be yellow beets. ID being somewhat hampered because these are not in great shape.

ugly unidentifiable veggies
Image: ugly unidentifiable veggies

I did cut one open and smell it. The reason I am going with "could be yellow beets" is, in part, because the interior flesh was quite yellow.  The scent, however, was not distinctively beet (nor ringed like some of the non-red colored beets are when I buy them intentionally at regular farmer's markets), but rather slightly sweet in a way I associate with turnips. To be fair, however, I am not generally a fan of turnips and so I could be completely wrong about their smell.

Feel free to give me your best guess. 

I just got a text from Shawn. The big boss is running even later than expected, so who knows when she'll be able to come home. The thing is, she's the expert on this one thing and so they really want her there as they wrap it up. And, while they could call for advice while she's in recovery, probably you don't want her making important decisions while on OxyContin. Probably. 

The other things I need to do yet today--only one of which is on Shawn's master list--is get postcards to the mail and take the car in for a car wash. We have discovered that this is a luxury we really enjoy, having someone else regularly vacuum the schmutz from the floorboards, etc. I'll probably actually go do those once I finish writing this, if only to get them off the list. If I have to come home and do nothing for a while before turning around to pick-up Shawn that feels better to me than rushing to go get her from somewhere far away, you know? 

Tomorrow is my big GM gig. I am very excited, though a bit nervous because even though this is supposed to be a stripped-down version of D&D 5e, I feel like I need to be prepared to actually PLAY D&D 5e... which is a bit daunting, despite my zillion and a half hours of both playing the game myself and actually watching other (expert) people play it.

Right! I'm off!


UPDATE: I peeled them last night and all of you who guessed golden beets were, in fact, correct! Well done!
lydamorehouse: (Default)
I managed to forget my friend [personal profile] haddayr's wedding on Sunday. At least I had never RSVP'd and I had only been invited to the post-ceremony Open House. Shawn and I were supposed to be away this last week in Saint Louis, MO, for the CoSA (Council of State Archivists) meeting. As previously discussed, Shawn is being extra paranoid about infections and decided that travel was ill-advised and so the trip was cancelled. I had the invite sitting on our piano as a reminder, but I never did get around to RSVPing, so I suppose it's fine. It was such a lovely day yesterday, though. I would have liked to have given the two of them my best.  Alas!

However, it turned into a weirdly busy day, even without the missed wedding.

Shawn is gathering all the things she's going to need post-surgery. We have gotten a bath transfer bench from someone off buy nothing, but a couple of friends of ours  happened to have a daughter (I know, too young!) who had to have knee surgery who offered us a toilet set frame. So Jason and Carrie (two horror movies, as they like to remind people) came over with that and of course it wasn't just in and out. We had to stand around on the porch and chat. 

Mason, who has been incommunicado because he caught COVID immediately upon returning to campus, was feeling well enough to chat so I skipped my usual Zoom with my folks and caught up on the life of our nearly college grad. Mason is a senior this year, if you can believe it! Then, he and Shawn stayed on the line a little longer and booked him is flight back for Thanksgiving weekend. 

Then. our friend Lana came over to return a bread pan that I'd loaned her. I have two of those double-loaf French loaf pans and I went over to make bread with her one Sunday several months ago and had to leave before the bread was out of the oven. Since I have an extra pan, I told her to return it at her leisure. Lana is a regular performer in our local A Klingon Christmas Carol troupe. This year, she'll be playing The General in I'll Be Home for Kahless: The Hallmark Parody of the Season (at the Phoenix Theater in Minneapolis.) I'm thinking that this might have to be the year I finally see one of these things. 

Shawn ended up giving Lana a tour of the house. Like you do.

Oh, and in there somewhere around noon, Shawn and I also got our seasonal flu shots. So, we are now fully upgraded for the season, having gotten the newest COVID vaccine two-weeks prior. 

On top of all this, Shawn and I spent hours working on our Health Care Directives. You can not say Shawn is unprepared for this surgery. Not only do we have all this stuff, but we literally have updated our wills and Health Care Directives. 




That was all just Sunday

Saturday, Shawn and I got her rollaway bed put together for the downstairs (again, for post-surgery.) We don't have a couch, so it seemed like a good thing to own so that Shawn can rest as needed without trying to do our stairs--particularly that first week or two. Then, I think the only other things I did were RPG-related.

I spent a huge amount of time working on a possible dungeon crawl for the folks who I've gathered to play Solidarity: Drunk Girls* in the Bathroom , on the off chance they go that way.

Then, I turned around and tried to catch up on the changes in the Second Edition of the Star Trek: Adventures Role-Playing Game for the monthly game I play in. We had a shorter than usual playing session as [personal profile] bcholmes led us through the character conversion process. That went decently well for most of us, except that one of our players, [personal profile] lcohen , completely lost her species and abilities in the upgrade. So, that was no fun for her.  But, the game itself was action-packed. We said goodbye, in-game, to one of our long time members, [personal profile] jiawen , who will be very much missed -- as we immediately blew up one of our long time NPCs, due to a lack of caution. (Okay, actually, that was just the way I played him and it turns out our Chief Medical Officer has a new superpower that allowed us to make a miracle rescue.)  Due to the power vacuum created in jiawen's absence, my character has gotten a promotion that he is highly uncertain about. I'm looking forward his growing pains as he figures out how to command. This problem--feeling your way into command--feels very much like some of the stuff I loved about Saru from Star Trek: Discovery, if you watched any of that.

So, that was my weekend. How was yours. Forget any weddings???
lydamorehouse: (Aizen)
 As you all know (since I swear I talk about it constantly), Shawn is having her knee surgery on Tuesday, October 8. What I had not factored into all of this is that my favorite local con, ConFABulous, runs October 11-13. Shawn is still going to be heavily medicated by the 11th. Also, everyone who talks about this surgery--including Shawn's own surgeon--says that the first week is Hell Week. So I think I was being foolish imagining I can attend this con in any way, much less run two games. 

It kind of breaks my heart, but there will always be next year. 

I has made me more determined to get serious about starting an RPG group of my own. So, I guess: watch this space. I would really love a group of folks that would let me try running mini-campaigns in a bunch of different systems. I even found what looks like a really fun, light way to get started in D&D called Solidarity: Drunk Girls* in Bathrooms.

I also had to let my cousin know that Shawn and I are not going down to St. Louis, MO, later this month for her COSA (Counsel of State Archivists) conference. Things have gotten complicated at Shawn's work, plus see above. Shawn is very paranoid (and I think rightly) about picking up any infections too close to her big surgery. Apparently, if the replacement bone stuff they use gets an infection in it, it can be nearly impossible to get rid of--and sometimes the only solution is to REDO the surgery. No one wants that. Plus, Shawn has planned the timing of this perfectly and if the surgeon calls it off, who knows how far out the next available time is, you know?

It's just tough because it is interfering with a lot of the things I love, including road trips!  

But, all these things aren't nearly as important as Shawn health.  And ConFABulous will be there for me next year. COSA will be somewhere else next year, but we can always just plan a trip to Saint Louis sometime! So, it's not all lost. But it's just such a bummer to have to cancel on people.
lydamorehouse: (renji has hair)
 This morning Shawn had yet-another doctor's appointment. 

As I think I have previously reported, Shawn is scheduled to have full knee replacement in her right knee at the beginning of October. The surgeon basically told her to see all her specialists and get everything done before then. So, we had an appointment yesterday and another this morning at 8 am. Yesterday's appointment was to fix an ingrown toenail of hers. The knee surgeon is the sort who will cancel the surgery if there is a cat scratch on someone's body anywhere near the incision sites. So, she really needed to get that done, but then toe care necessitated us getting up SUPER early so she could soak and changed the bandage of this toe. 

I was (I think understandably) kinda b*tchy about everything. Shawn and I snipped at each other in the car for several blocks.

But, as we turned on to highway 36 to head east to the Maplewood clinic this morning, I could see a MASSIVE accident behind me on the Westbound side. There were dozens of flashing red lights. We can see the cars backing up in that direction and I think, oh boy, I hope everyone is okay, but, dang it, we'll have to take another way back. Despite all this, we arrived early at the clinic. I'm settled in, in the car, doing my Duolingo (my friend's quest this time 50 lessons over 90%!! I AM LEARNING JAPANESE, DO THEY NOT REALIZE THIS??) and, I'm not paying attention to the time, but all of a sudden Shawn texts me and says that the doctor has actually gotten caught up in the resulting traffic jam around the accident AND, somehow, the computer failed to log her in as having arrived and so she's now behind some other patients.

At this point, I could not longer hold my irritation.

First of all, my phone battery was dying, so there really wasn't much else to do besides relax and go for a walk. I didn't expect to see much of interest. Maplewood, for you out-of-towners, is a northeastern suburb. I mostly know if from one of its busier streets, which, was, in fact, where this clinic was. So, I mostly wandered the parking lots of Arby's and McDonald's and the like, until I came to a residential street, which I immediately turned down. 

About a half block down there was an AMAZING wildlife habitat. Someone had taken one of those stupidly huge suburban lots and completely transformed the entire thing into a pollinator cafe/native wildflower space. 

suburban oasis
Image: suburban oasis

I probably stood there and watched the bees and butterflies and American goldfinches zipping around for a good, solid ten minutes. It was PARADISE. 

And, of course, that's when Shawn pinged me to let me know she was done. She was so late at this point, however, that she cancelled several meetings and I had to do the same. So, instead of rushing to work, we took the long way, I showed her the garden, and we drove to get a fancy coffee and sandwich. Because work can wait.

Slow down.

That's what the universe is telling me. 

And I'm glad I did.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 The weekend kicked off with... well, not a bang, more of a STAB. 

Before I start this story, Shawn is okay, No stitches were even needed.

On Friday nights it is the tradition at chez Roundhouse to have pizza and movie night. When Mason is off at school this is often date night. But, even when we're all together, I will either make pizza (my family really loves the deep dish I make in our cast iron pans) or we order in. When it's just us, Shawn and I will watch a movie together, but when Mason is home we tend to go off and parallel play--each watching our own things. 

Not graphic, but still medical.... )

Even though it always feels like forever, we were only there three hours. Not bad for a Friday night! Mason, being the kind of trouper he is, had the house cleaned up and ready for us to just come home and collapse in a heap. 

Saturday we did a very truncated version of our alliterative errands: coffee, cardboard, and cardamom. For those of you just tuning in, Saint Paul provides recycling, but is very picky about only picking up "what fits in the containers." So, we have simply started reserving our cardboard so that we can take it to the citywide recycling center on Saturday mornings. Since the recycling center is near where I like to get coffee, we started this whole coffee, cardboard thing. Once we had two "c"s as part of our errand list, we now insist that anything else we do on Saturday mornings start with a c.  Cardamom is, like coffee, not really an errand, but there is a lovely bakery on West 7th that makes amazing cardamom spinners, so either when we have a lot going on (or, like this last Saturday, NEED A F*CKING TREAT) we will stop at Brake Bread (so-called because it is a kind of drive-up window.) 

Saturday night we had a lovely backyard get together with the set of friends who make us feel Very Grown-up. Do you have friends like this? Like, there's something about this set of couples that is just like Hollywood's idea of hanging out with adults is supposed to be like? There's always this food starting on their big kitchen island that migrates out to this picturesque backyard, with LITERAL fireflies, and bottles of wine.... we love hanging out with them because it makes us feel cool (and they're good company, of course!) 

Sunday we had planned to make the food of Shawn's people, fleischkuekle.  This is an ALL DAY affair. We spend several hours assembling these meat pockets/pierogi and then several hours deep-fat frying them. If you count shopping for the ingredients as part of the process (which I do!) we started at 10 am and ended at 7:30 pm. 

On the other hand, we make literal HUNDREDS of these things.

A portion of the finished, fried fleischkuekle
Image: A small portion of the finished, fried fleischkuekle

How was your weekend? 100% less ER trips, I hope!

Fancy Tea

Apr. 1st, 2024 04:32 pm
lydamorehouse: (renji has hair)
birthday lady at High Tea
Image: Shawn (the birthday girl) at High Tea

I'm planning on writing up a Minicon con report later, but I wanted to show off the BEST birthday present I have ever given

Shawn's birthday is actually today (this is no April Fools), but several months ago, we were talking about shops that we might like to put on Grand Avenue here in St. Paul, and she floated this idea of a tea shop that served High Tea. That got me thinking, "I wonder if there is high tea being served anywhere in the metro area." I'd forgotten that right in our very own downtown Saint Paul, there is a very, very fancy historic hotel called The Saint Paul Hotel that serves a very reasonably priced high tea every Saturday.  So, I went online, discovered how far in advance a person needs to book these things (months!) and, thus, hit on the idea that it might be quite lovely to take Shawn to high tea on her birthday weekend.

The entryway to the St. Paul Hotel
Image: the entryway to the St. Paul Hotel

Originally, I had planned this to be entirely a surprise, all I would tell Shawn that she just needed to be dressed up and ready to go somewhere on Saturday before 1 pm. This was working for awhile, but as the day approached, I realized that, while Shawn LIKES surprises, generally, I tend to forget that having to be at a place at a time makes her generally anxious. Add to it, not knowing what she's doing at that place at that time is actually A Bit Stressful. So, I told her that I would wake her up on Friday morning with a kiss and then spoil the surprise. Once Shawn found out that we were going to tea and she could look at the menu, she got very excited. 

We are not fancy people? Luckily, the St. Paul Hotel doesn't actually enforce any kind of dress code, so when I discovered that I no longer fit into my black trousers, I was able to go in jeans. Shawn's knee has been very arthritic and swollen, so she opted into a longish skirt, half-nylons, and sneakers. But, we were generally feeling spiffy and cute.

There was some other (sporting?) event happening in downtown, and, of course, this was Easter weekend, so we also opted to have a valet park the car. It was only at the end when we were waiting for the valet to return with our car did it occur to me that, uh, sometimes our car won't start? There's some kind of loose wire that connects to the battery that I've been meaning to get fixed, but since I can often just open the hood and jiggle the wire, I haven't gotten around to it. But, as it happened, as I was embarrassedly explaining this to the head valet, his colleague was pulling our car around. But, that's skipping to the end, let's continue from the start.

We arrived very early, which was better for Shawn's nerves. After getting our coats checked, we were directed to wander around the downstairs area, which included a little display case showcasing some of the St. Paul Hotel's history--famous people (including Gene Autry AND HIS HORSE)--who have stayed there.  Then, we were seated in the lobby.

the lobby of the St. Paul Hotel
Image: The lobby of the St. Paul Hotel

You will note that where we were, it was very lobby-like. It wasn't set up like a restaurant per se. Though, we had a table, people were sat in comfy chairs, couches, and the like. At first we thought, "Is this going to be comfortable?" Especially for me, with my very stubby legs, but after a while we decided that we actually had the best seats in the house. The couch looked a bit awkward, and some of the other chairs were those sort of high-off-the ground ones (the other queer couple in the room seemed to be given those.) There is also a kind of backroom that had seats that looked more like restaurant fare and we were very glad we weren't sent there. The seating was preassigned, so I have no idea what you have to do to garner the worst seats in the house.

Shawn contemplating the menu
Image:  Shawn contemplating the menu

The tables were set out with tea cups, silverware, and a menu. The menu is seasonal and it's not like you actually choose anything from it. It's just there to let you know what's coming. Food is just brought. Although, in case you are worried, you can tell the chef ahead of time if you have dietary restrictions. This is included as part of ticketing. I presume, in fact, that this is why seating is pre-arranged--so that the servers know which tables are keeping kosher or vegetarian and people will get the food that's right for them. 

Our menu:

Sandwich & Savory Plate Course

Frisée, Pancetta and Whipped Herb Cheese Sandwich
Smoked Trout Salad Sandwich
Peppadew Preserve, Chevre on Toast

savory plate

 
Three Tier Sweets and Cheese Course

FIRST TIER
Candied Macadamia Nuts, Dried Banana Chips,
Dried Dates, Humbolt Fog

SECOND TIER
Blood Orange Blondie
Ginger Snap Cookie
Orange Truffle

THIRD TIER
Caramelized Pineapple Mousse
Black Currant Scone with Rum Butter 

So, this actually came out on a tiered dessert plate....

the tiered desserts
Image: The tiered dessert tray (and me, eating the pineapple mousse.)

Anyway, we had an incredibly lovely time. There is a pianist who plays music throughout the event. Tea is constantly being refilled. When we weren't chatting about life, Shawn and I just sat and stared into a HAPPY middle distance, just smiling to ourselves. 

It was amazing. We immediately started planning when we might want to do this again: Mason's birthday? Mine?  Anyway, if you are local to me, I recommend giving it a try once. It's very fancy and fun and, as Shawn said at one point, "it feels like you're in a Miss Marple novel, without the murder."
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 For those of you who have been following the saga I call "Shawn R., Medical Mystery," we FINALLY have a diagnosis that actually covers ALL THE WEIRD STUFF THAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO MY WIFE.

Graves' Disease.

What fascinates me is just HOW MANY of the really confusing problems she's been having this covers, including things like irregular heart beats and all of her blood pressure issues. If you go back through some of my tags about Shawn and doctors, you'll see time and time again where something weird is happening and the doctors are all like, "???" 

But, I was talking to a neighbor the other night (our neighborhood is shockingly friendly. My across-the-street-neighbor started a band as a pandemic project and they put on a backyard bash every year to kind of make up for being the noisy house on the block, though I have not been subjected to "Rock the Casbah" six million times since they finished their basement studio.) She was telling me that she had "surprise! Thyroid Cancer!" when she was pregnant with her second child and, as part of that, she discovered that the "normal range" for thyroid numbers is actually VERY broad. So, doctors--many of whom have no more than 15 minutes to scan your chart--will often overlook thyroid as a problem because the number are in the "average" range, but your numbers might be very, very far off FOR YOU. And, so it takes a crisis before they notice how far gone your thyroid is.

Which kind of tracks for Shawn's experience. Her thyroid numbers were in the "sub-clinical for hyperthyroidism" in April, but her GP was like, "Meh, probably doesn't mean much, since it's still THE RANGE and your blood pressure is good." I remember, at the time, saying to Shawn, you did remind him that your blood pressure is being regulated BY MEDICINE, though, right? And, she was, of course, like, "Well, it's on my chart. He must know." (This, however, from the same woman who exhaustively checks prescribed doses and contraindicated medicines because her father was a pharmacist and she just wants to make sure that the doctors are remembering all her meds and that none of them are interacting in a harmful way. But, we all have our things, right?) 

At any rate, this is a HUGE relief for us. I went in with her to see the endocrinologist and we both sort of teared up when he told us that we have an official diagnosis and there is treatment that should actually clear up MOST of these symptoms. He very cautiously said, "Well, the medicine won't take effect immediately--" both Shawn and I, we discover later, are thinking okay, okay, so like six months-- "but you should feel some improvement in a week." And we both almost shouted at the same time, "A WEEK, THAT'S AMAZING!!" 

This was such good news that we actually threw a party. We broke out the sparkling apple cider and ordered a pizza from our favorite delivery place. So no need to be sad for Shawn or express concern. We are ecstatic!
lydamorehouse: (writer??)
 Shawn and lilacs
Image: my lovely wife and lovely flowers.

Like a lot of women of a certain age, Shawn hates being photographed. But, when I took this picture, all I was thinking was about how much I love this beautiful woman, and I think it shows. 

Also, the lilacs are in full bloom and we should all stop to smell them, if we have the time and ability.
lydamorehouse: (??!!)
Olives, salami, cheese, and crackers. A birthday dinner charcuterie for Shawn. 

Shawn's birthday was on Saturday. We had a fancy charcuterie for dinner. Otherwise, it was the morning after a huge snow storm that dropped nearly 9 inches on us. We managed to still get out of the house to go to S.R. Harris, the fabric mecca, but mostly for simple things like solid colors. (I am starting to plan for a GLBTQIA+ gaming quilt and so needed to be sure I actually HAD rainbow colors around). But, it was a wonderful day, exactly perfect for what Shawn wanted to do. She got some novelty Stephen King coffee cups, earrings she'd asked for and... the piece de la resistance... A PAPER MAP OF MINNESOTA!

We are planning on tracking our regional road trips on it, and maybe framing it at some point once it's all marked up with memories.

Fun times. 

Hope you all had a lovely weekend.
lydamorehouse: (Bazz-B)
 Shawn is currently undergoing a routine procedure. She's at United right now getting an endoscopic ultrasound, which is one of the ways that doctors test for pancreatic cancer. Shawn is only getting this screening because she's a carrier of the breast cancer gene, BRC-1. BRC-1 is why she had a mastectomy decades ago, and now they have uncovered a link between people who have BRC-1 and pancreatic cancer. 

So, she's not really... hurt or ill? But this procedure is taking half a day. The internet says that the actual endoscopic ultrasound takes 30 minutes, but they had her arriving at the hospital at 8 am and didn't even expect to be starting the procedure until 10 am. But, that means she's either just finishing up now (at 10:46 am) or is still in the middle of it.

If you could spare a few thoughts (or white light or prayers or whatever) in her direction, I would appreciate it all the same. These things might be routine for the doctors, but they're always a bit scary for the rest of us.

Oh, well, nevermind, They just called and she's out. I'm going to head over there now and pick her up. Whoot!
lydamorehouse: (Default)
I drove Shawn to her appointment at the Spine Center today, despite the very slippery conditions and snow. While I waited for her, I spent my time in the car checking out the new Duolingo format. (The short of it: I don't hate it. Not sure I love it, but it's fine?)  

She came out all smiles. The doctor she talked to was apparently from California and so they'd ended up chatting for an extra half hour. Those of you from my birth state might be thinking that I am making some kind of jab at you, but my personal experience is that the typical Californian is generally perceived as sixteen thousand times more chatty and friendly than your average native Minnesotan. I realize that not everyone in a state can be categorized one way, but since this is, for me, a positive association, I guess I'm willing to take the heat if people want to argue with me. To be fair, Shawn is used to me and so I think that there's something that other Californians just sense in her--that she will be receptive to the fact that the guy she went to for spinal expertise ALSO wants to talk about archives and history podcasts and Trumpism and everything. I was only sad that I was sitting in the car and not in on this conversation. I suspect if both of us Californians (I was only born there, but SOMETHING stuck) had been in the room at the same time, we would have all ended up to dinner together because that's how I roll among my people. 

The good news is that the doctor feels that some PT and muscle relaxants might significantly improve the problem for Shawn. He also tried to convince her (jokingly) not to think of it as spinal "degeneration," but "age-related wear." To which my clever wife, responded, "Ah, yes, like 'moving through the demographic cycle' instead of aging." 

Okay, back to the kitchen painting grind for me!
lydamorehouse: (Default)
 I'm about 125 pages into T. Kingfisher's Paladin's Grace, which I'm loving for a number of reasons, not the least of which is PALADIN BESERKER!!

But, the reason I read so much in one sitting was because Shawn and I spent about seven hours at the ER. 


SPOILER: SHAWN IS FINE. Symptoms turned out to be related to a new neck/spinal degeneration. 

Shawn, who many of you know, Is... medically complicated. There's not one big thing wrong with Shawn, though, just an exceedingly long list of small things.  In fact, thanks to the way one of her medical charts was written, we sometimes joke that her biography would be entitled, "Problem List Continues." 

Long time readers of this blog might also remember that when Mason turned 16, Shawn was hospitalized for a very rare blood clot in her superior mesenteric vein (a vein that returns blood to the heart from the intestines.) When she went to the urgent care that time, she thought she just had a very bad case of stomach flu that just wouldn't go away. Turns out, if she'd waited any longer... let's just say the outcome would not have been good. 

All these things combined makes this family very, very willing to pick up and go to the ER if Shawn says, "Something's not right." Her intuition about her own body is VERY good.

However, because she's got a thousand things going on with her at any given time, it can also be really hard to know what's life-threatening and what's "just a little out of the ordinary." Keeping in mind, of course, several factors, including, she's been right to go when things are just a little out of the ordinary AND women can present with very weird symptoms when they're having a heart attack. 

All of this leads us to yesterday around 4 pm, when Shawn came down the stairs just as I was wondering if I should start a second coat on the final kitchen wall and announced, "I think we need to go to the Emergency Room." I was like, "Whelp, that makes this decision easier," and packed up my painting supplies, tossed the drop clothes and ladder into the basement, and put on my "going out of the house" shoes. I didn't even ask what she was feeling until we were in the car and were halfway there. 

She'd been experiencing a strange pain in her right arm. She would not necessarily have worried about that, but for the past few days, she'd been experiencing odd heart flutters and, because she's stepping down off some blood pressure meds, per doctor's orders, she'd been taking her blood pressure and it was through the roof. 

The ER, thankfully, took her very seriously. They did blood work and an EKG immediately, but not seeing signs of having had a heart attack, they let us cool our heels in the waiting room for a couple of hours until a bed/room opened up. The desk nurse initially didn't want to let me through to sit with her, even when I explained that I was her wife, but Shawn kicked up a fuss when she noticed that a bunch of straight people were allowed to be together as couples. So, I ended up starting Kingfisher's book while we waited for a room.

The docs were all lovely once we were processed. We were only at the ER so late because they absolutely wanted to make certain no heart-related events were in progress or might happen were they to randomly discharge her without making absolutely sure. But, as part of the scan for blockages, the doctor ordered a neck CT, which revealed the possible culprit for the arm pain--which, I should note, did radiate (though Shawn felt it as a cold sensation which initially baffled the doctor) and then as some shoulder pain--new degeneration in C4 and C5 regions of the spine. They called this cervical radiculopathy? Anyway, Shawn knew she had some degeneration in this part of her neck, but had been diagnosed with spondylolisthesis. Which is somehow different? I'm not up, this morning, for a huge amount of web research into the differences. Will do later, though. Shawn is currently pouring over the results. 

The blood pressure was given a shrug and a "we don't worry about it when a patent is upright" from the ER doc, who had clearly SEEN SOME THINGS. But, apparently, it's worse to try to artificially bring down blood pressure just because and so they want her to follow-up with her regular GP. 

At any rate, we were eventually discharged and headed home around 11 pm.

Which, for Shawn and I, is WAAAAAY past our bedtimes. 

On the other hand, I did not have election night jitters.... 

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