Day in the Life of an Idiot

Image: Shawn (the birthday girl) at High Tea

I'm planning on writing up a Minicon con report later, but I wanted to show off the BEST birthday present I have ever given. 

Shawn's birthday is actually today (this is no April Fools), but several months ago, we were talking about shops that we might like to put on Grand Avenue here in St. Paul, and she floated this idea of a tea shop that served High Tea. That got me thinking, "I wonder if there is high tea being served anywhere in the metro area." I'd forgotten that right in our very own downtown Saint Paul, there is a very, very fancy historic hotel called The Saint Paul Hotel that serves a very reasonably priced high tea every Saturday.  So, I went online, discovered how far in advance a person needs to book these things (months!) and, thus, hit on the idea that it might be quite lovely to take Shawn to high tea on her birthday weekend.


Image: the entryway to the St. Paul Hotel

Originally, I had planned this to be entirely a surprise, all I would tell Shawn that she just needed to be dressed up and ready to go somewhere on Saturday before 1 pm. This was working for awhile, but as the day approached, I realized that, while Shawn LIKES surprises, generally, I tend to forget that having to be at a place at a time makes her generally anxious. Add to it, not knowing what she's doing at that place at that time is actually A Bit Stressful. So, I told her that I would wake her up on Friday morning with a kiss and then spoil the surprise. Once Shawn found out that we were going to tea and she could look at the menu, she got very excited. 

We are not fancy people? Luckily, the St. Paul Hotel doesn't actually enforce any kind of dress code, so when I discovered that I no longer fit into my black trousers, I was able to go in jeans. Shawn's knee has been very arthritic and swollen, so she opted into a longish skirt, half-nylons, and sneakers. But, we were generally feeling spiffy and cute.

There was some other (sporting?) event happening in downtown, and, of course, this was Easter weekend, so we also opted to have a valet park the car. It was only at the end when we were waiting for the valet to return with our car did it occur to me that, uh, sometimes our car won't start? There's some kind of loose wire that connects to the battery that I've been meaning to get fixed, but since I can often just open the hood and jiggle the wire, I haven't gotten around to it. But, as it happened, as I was embarrassedly explaining this to the head valet, his colleague was pulling our car around. But, that's skipping to the end, let's continue from the start.

We arrived very early, which was better for Shawn's nerves. After getting our coats checked, we were directed to wander around the downstairs area, which included a little display case showcasing some of the St. Paul Hotel's history--famous people (including Gene Autry AND HIS HORSE)--who have stayed there.  Then, we were seated in the lobby.


Image: The lobby of the St. Paul Hotel

You will note that where we were, it was very lobby-like. It wasn't set up like a restaurant per se. Though, we had a table, people were sat in comfy chairs, couches, and the like. At first we thought, "Is this going to be comfortable?" Especially for me, with my very stubby legs, but after a while we decided that we actually had the best seats in the house. The couch looked a bit awkward, and some of the other chairs were those sort of high-off-the ground ones (the other queer couple in the room seemed to be given those.) There is also a kind of backroom that had seats that looked more like restaurant fare and we were very glad we weren't sent there. The seating was preassigned, so I have no idea what you have to do to garner the worst seats in the house.


Image:  Shawn contemplating the menu

The tables were set out with tea cups, silverware, and a menu. The menu is seasonal and it's not like you actually choose anything from it. It's just there to let you know what's coming. Food is just brought. Although, in case you are worried, you can tell the chef ahead of time if you have dietary restrictions. This is included as part of ticketing. I presume, in fact, that this is why seating is pre-arranged--so that the servers know which tables are keeping kosher or vegetarian and people will get the food that's right for them. 

Our menu:


So, this actually came out on a tiered dessert plate....


Image: The tiered dessert tray (and me, eating the pineapple mousse.)

Anyway, we had an incredibly lovely time. There is a pianist who plays music throughout the event. Tea is constantly being refilled. When we weren't chatting about life, Shawn and I just sat and stared into a HAPPY middle distance, just smiling to ourselves. 

It was amazing. We immediately started planning when we might want to do this again: Mason's birthday? Mine?  Anyway, if you are local to me, I recommend giving it a try once. It's very fancy and fun and, as Shawn said at one point, "it feels like you're in a Miss Marple novel, without the murder."

 
Image: Chocolate bunny in a fancy bowl

Mason's longtime bestie, a lovely nonbinary person named Grey, happened to be in town for a mock trail competition at the same time as Mason's Spring Break. The two of them concocted a plan wherein Grey would stay with us until they needed to head back to their school (in Iowa.) So, we have had a houseguest for a week. It's been nice and so we wanted to send them off in a grand style. Ostara, Spring Equinox, is not for several days yet, officially, but we always retain the right as Wiccans to call on Pagan Standard Time (which is normally a joke about tardiness to rituals, but which we use to say that we can celebrate our holidays anywhere in the vicinity of their actual day.) So, we treated Grey to an early Ostara High Tea.


Image: Shawn's amazing jelly roll.

We pulled out all the stops. Shawn made an incredible (perfect!) jelly roll (sometimes called a Swiss roll), I made pierogi, Ukrainian potato balls (pampushki), scones, little egg tarts, and we had fruit and faux mimosas... and, OF COURSE, tea.  The jelly roll was a huge hit. Shawn used strawberry jam and orange marmalade for the filling. I think Grey was impressed. To be fair, we love setting the table to impress.


Image: Early Ostara table setting (2024)

Mason, like me, always enjoys playing host. He took Grey book shopping and they both came home with arms full. We also had the entire Mock Trial team in our basement playing video games at one point. Mason and Grey went off to the Mall of America to meet up with more friends at some point, too. It's been such a socially busy week for us, I find it deeply amusing to report that, after waving goodbye to Grey, the three of us immediately collapsed into bed and took a long afternoon nap. 

Happy early Ostara to those who celebrate it!

 ... a birthday gift so completely that you had to buy a different one, months later?

I bought my wife a subscription to one of those "[something] comes in a box" monthly deals.

Because we had done that Domsetika class together, I thought she might like to continue to play around with art supplies. I found something called Sketch Box. I'm not going to link to them because I'm about to complain about them at length. To be fair to them, their service was great! They always let me know when they were going to charge my card and gave ample time to bail, if I wanted,. Everything showed up on time. They did nothing wrong. 

Exactly as advertised, it's just that... it's not for us, and here's why.


Image: Shawn is opening a very cool box (although, the face on the box seems a bit concerned.)

I don't know who their intended audience is, but it's not Shawn... it's not even me. Which should be concerning because I took so many art classes at college that people thought I was an art major. I later followed up with even MORE studio arts classes when classes at the University of MN was a benefit of working there. I am EXTREMELY familiar with most art tools. 

This is what we got this month:

Image: Oil pastels, pencils, a tool that baffles me, and a "pre-toned" canvas.

I am sure that some of my friends who follow me here already know how to use all of this stuff, that's fine. But I had to Google why the hell I would want a "pre-toned" canvas and what even do I do with one, once I have one. I did acrylic painting for an entire semester at Augsburg. I also took an oil painting class at the U.  I understand why you would gesso your canvas. But, I NEVER pre-toned a canvas in my life. What purpose does it serve that it's a treat to get in an art box??? Like, this is not STANDARD so far as I know, so I'm not even necessarily getting something that feels like, "Oh, ah, thanks for that, now I don't have to do all that work I normally do to prep my canvass!"  It just feels like ?????

Also this tool I got? According to the sheet that comes with the box, this is a "color shaper," "to carve into oil pastel to create textural effects or blend colors."  I... this is beyond me. Am I actually carving into the stick? Or do you mean, once I've layered on the oil pastel. <--which is the only thing I kind of figure, but I have previously never felt a mighty need to carve into my oil pastel art.

AND WHAT KIND OF MORON DOESN'T EVEN SEND ALONG PRIMARY COLORS.

There's no yellow. I got a weird fleshy salmon color, a blue, green, white, and brick red. Why would you not be sure that, I dunno, I could BLEND ALL THE COLORS. I could maybe make an orange with the weird color, but why not send a true yellow or at least something much more clearly yellow??

Also, it is not clear to me that all this stuff goes together. Can I use my GoldFaber Colored Pencil (crimson) on the canvas panel. What about the Caran d'Arche Pablo Pencile (Charcoal Grey)? For that mater can I use the oil pastels on it? Or am I supposed to just have acrylic, watercolor, and oil paints lying around (which, yes, okay, I DO, but that's not the point!)

So, the boxes have been disappointing.

I wanted Shawn to get something once a month where she could be like, "OH! a handful of colored pencils!" or "Oooooo, nifty markers!" and bits of other fun supplies to try? I did not think I would have to Google, "Why would I pre-tone my canvas and what can I use on it?" (Also, Google knew what I was asking about, but no one had a good answer.)

I cancelled our subscription today. The good news is that Shawn is not disheartened. She would like to try a subscription box to a bullet journal supply place to see if that's more what we're looking for.