Day in the Life of an Idiot

 ... a birthday gift so completely that you had to buy a different one, months later?

I bought my wife a subscription to one of those "[something] comes in a box" monthly deals.

Because we had done that Domsetika class together, I thought she might like to continue to play around with art supplies. I found something called Sketch Box. I'm not going to link to them because I'm about to complain about them at length. To be fair to them, their service was great! They always let me know when they were going to charge my card and gave ample time to bail, if I wanted,. Everything showed up on time. They did nothing wrong. 

Exactly as advertised, it's just that... it's not for us, and here's why.


Image: Shawn is opening a very cool box (although, the face on the box seems a bit concerned.)

I don't know who their intended audience is, but it's not Shawn... it's not even me. Which should be concerning because I took so many art classes at college that people thought I was an art major. I later followed up with even MORE studio arts classes when classes at the University of MN was a benefit of working there. I am EXTREMELY familiar with most art tools. 

This is what we got this month:

Image: Oil pastels, pencils, a tool that baffles me, and a "pre-toned" canvas.

I am sure that some of my friends who follow me here already know how to use all of this stuff, that's fine. But I had to Google why the hell I would want a "pre-toned" canvas and what even do I do with one, once I have one. I did acrylic painting for an entire semester at Augsburg. I also took an oil painting class at the U.  I understand why you would gesso your canvas. But, I NEVER pre-toned a canvas in my life. What purpose does it serve that it's a treat to get in an art box??? Like, this is not STANDARD so far as I know, so I'm not even necessarily getting something that feels like, "Oh, ah, thanks for that, now I don't have to do all that work I normally do to prep my canvass!"  It just feels like ?????

Also this tool I got? According to the sheet that comes with the box, this is a "color shaper," "to carve into oil pastel to create textural effects or blend colors."  I... this is beyond me. Am I actually carving into the stick? Or do you mean, once I've layered on the oil pastel. <--which is the only thing I kind of figure, but I have previously never felt a mighty need to carve into my oil pastel art.

AND WHAT KIND OF MORON DOESN'T EVEN SEND ALONG PRIMARY COLORS.

There's no yellow. I got a weird fleshy salmon color, a blue, green, white, and brick red. Why would you not be sure that, I dunno, I could BLEND ALL THE COLORS. I could maybe make an orange with the weird color, but why not send a true yellow or at least something much more clearly yellow??

Also, it is not clear to me that all this stuff goes together. Can I use my GoldFaber Colored Pencil (crimson) on the canvas panel. What about the Caran d'Arche Pablo Pencile (Charcoal Grey)? For that mater can I use the oil pastels on it? Or am I supposed to just have acrylic, watercolor, and oil paints lying around (which, yes, okay, I DO, but that's not the point!)

So, the boxes have been disappointing.

I wanted Shawn to get something once a month where she could be like, "OH! a handful of colored pencils!" or "Oooooo, nifty markers!" and bits of other fun supplies to try? I did not think I would have to Google, "Why would I pre-tone my canvas and what can I use on it?" (Also, Google knew what I was asking about, but no one had a good answer.)

I cancelled our subscription today. The good news is that Shawn is not disheartened. She would like to try a subscription box to a bullet journal supply place to see if that's more what we're looking for.