Day in the Life of an Idiot

 "Woe" is probably too strong a word for this situation. It's more that I am a complain-y person who likes to complain about things. The current thing I am fretting about is that I agreed to do a Speculations reading at Dreamhaven next Wednesday. 

True confession time. 

I have NEVER liked reading my own work out loud. Despite the fact that I often enjoy re-reading my own work, as discussed in a recent previous post and I generally like speaking in front of an audience, I kind of hate readings. It's one of those things, however, that is fully expected that authors DO. 

There's a couple of personal reasons why I dislike reading, out loud, in front of an audience. I am dyslexic. I've been dyslexic my whole life and so I have a lot of... shame around it? Like, I'm mostly okay with this fairly minor (for me) learning disability, but when I am standing in front of people who are all staring at me and I stumble over my own words, I don't enjoy it. I've learned to make fun of myself and to get around my mistakes by just going with something close to what I've written, but the actual act of reading out loud in this very structured space is not something I enjoy.

My other complaint in my complaining song is that I also, personally, am not fond of going to readings? I have an allergy to the MFA voice. I find it grating at best and soporific at worst. Worse, its prevalent, even among people who are not in Academia. Even when a reader doesn't do the MFA voice, I'm not great at paying attention when people are reading in performance halls, bookstores, and hotel panel rooms.

I don't know why. Like, Shawn used to read to me while I did the dishes (we don't have a dishwasher) for years. She's been replaced by an iPad and Spotify, but having people read to me or tell me a story is not the problem. So, I don't really understand why I find it hard to listen to writers reading their stories at readings. There just must be something about it that feels artificial. I honestly don't know. 

Am I alone in this?

At any rate, I'm also struggling to figure out WHAT to read. My WIP makes the most sense, but this is a book that I'm floundering on at the moment and I'm in that dreaded "I hate this book" phase of writing. I still might find some piece of that to read, and probably will? I could also read some short stories that I've recently sold... and I might do that, if for no other reason than that the editors of the anthologies would probably be happy that I'm out publicizing their product.  

I dunno.

La! There's my complaining song. 

How are you?

In short, it went fine.

I was asked to speak with a late in the day elective class (akin to when Mason had robotics in his 510 slot.) This elective was GLBTQIA+ interest.

Honestly, had I known to expect that, I would have made a power presentation about the life cycle of a book. What authors ARE in this process, how books get edited, made, distributed, etc. 

BUT IT NEVER OCURRED TO ME that this wouldn't be at least.... I don't want to say self-evident, because I certainly never considered how books got made until I was starting to get interested in being an author. But, I think it never occurred to me how diluted the idea of this process has becomes because the lines between the production of the free versions (like fan fic) and the pay-for versions (like self-published to trad published books) have become really opaque to a lot of grown-ups, not to mention kids. 

So, if there is a next time in some fashion, I will come much more prepared to sell people not so much on the idea of ME, as the idea of trad published books.  

I didn't really do too much else for my birthday other than spend a lot of money on food OUT.  I got myself a fancy latte in the morning, we had takeaway ramen for lunch, and takeaway Ethiopian for dinner. (At least that last one served for two meals, as I just finished up the leftovers for lunch today.) Shawn and I watched a bunch of the British Baking Show, and I got this crazy idea to use up all of the blank journals that I've collected over the years, which is to write in a different one for each day of the week. I'm going to try, for instance to record "a year of Wednesdays." We'll see if I keep it up, but it might be fun? Particularly if I don't try to do EVERY DAY of the week.  

I also spent some birthday money on a few more postcards for myself. I have slowed down on my pandemic "world(s) tour" (a series of postcards that I've been sending friends from places and times I wish I could travel to,) but I got inspired today and sent out another set. I've prepped some follow-ups as well. If anyone reading this suddenly wishes that someone would send them a silly story postcard every so often, please let me know and I will add you to my list. For me, it's been a fun way to connect to those people who make up what I once heard referred to as your "middle circle of friends." There's the inner circle--close friends you regularly see. The extreme outer circle--your barista, cashier, pizza deliverer, etc.--the people you interact with, but only barely socially. And, this article I read (in the Atlantic?) talked about the people that most of us have really lost touch with during the pandemic is that our middle circle--the people we like and used to see very irregularly (in my case, at cons or in other SF related venues.) So, a lot of people on my postcard list are in this range, though there are a few what I've never met in meat space. 

The weather here has been cold and blowy, so it's been perfect for these kinds of things. I have a manuscript for the Loft that I should be reading, but I'm hoping to spend a lot of Thanksgiving vacation catching up with that.

Tomorrow night is gaming, so I have that to look forward to, too!

 Last night was the speculative fiction smut reading at Kieran's Pub.  I spent much of the day, yesterday, feeling very nervous about the whole thing. Nervous probably isn't the right word. I do a lot of public performance, much of it off the cuff, but I'm NOTORIOUSLY bad at reading naughty bits, out loud, in front of a crowd. I have _literally_ hired stunt readers, while rolling around in embarrassment under the table at cons during slash readings.

So...

A friend of mine who is an actor in New York volunteered to listen to my pieces and give critique to help improve my performance. They are also a Bleach fan, so we probably spent more of our time together lamenting the ending of the manga.  But, it was really neat to finally see them in person (we did a Google hangout) and put a face and a voice to text, as it were. But, knowing I was going to read to Taylor meant that I practiced both pieces several times, even before talking to them over Hangouts. 

Then, naomikritzer came over and, my random luck, I made an amazing "pot roast hash" out of some leftover rump roast and some veggies.  We chatted for a bit, but both of us had errands to try to get in before the snow started, so we said goodbye early and I headed out with Mason's laptop to Computer Revolution.

I totally recommend Computer Revolution in Roseville to local folks, btw. First of all, they did what we wanted the "Genius Squad" to do at Best Buy, which was test the cord with a voltmeter. The cord, they determined, was shot.  It is, of course, still possible that there is more than one problem going on with the ROG, but we have an easy place to start. Shawn ordered the cord as soon as I told her what I'd learned, since she'd already done all the research in case we might need one. I asked the guys, though, if the cord doesn't solve the issue, are there other options that don't involve replacing the motherboard as Best Buy seemed to suggest would be the only other issue (and far too expensive a prospect). They had lots of options, several of which were very potentially reasonably priced.  So, that's a huge YAY.

Mason came home a bit early from robotics, despite it being "stop build day," the day they have to literally wrap up their robot and put it away until competition, because he was feeling kind of sick. He seems to have caught a cold.  

After picking up Mason, feeding him, etc., I got dressed and headed out.

I got lost at least twice, mostly because I don't know left from right, but I managed to get there by 7:30 pm, which was perfect, as it gave me a chance to find a place to park and get in and get the lay of the land.

Kieran's pub is kind of beautiful. The Not-So-Silent Planet folks managed to have their own private section, a part of the pub that is legit called "The Poet's Room" and it has its own doors, own bar, etc. I was really sad to hear that they will be having to move the venue next season, because it could not be a more perfect place for this kind of event.  It's both public, but very intimate and private.



The structure of the show was that the first 3/4th were open mic, which... with erotica was.... kind of hoot? I mean, the first person up did two pieces, the first of which was revenge porn with implied rape and I thought "OH SH*T, MY HUMOROUS STUFF IS GOING TO BOMB" but then they did a second piece which was a clever story about an app that allowed you to experience other people's fetishes.  

The whole night was like that--some of the pieces were very INTENSE, some hilarious, several of them were body horror, a number were more traditionally romantic, and then, a few were... well, HOT.

I was horrified to discover, however, that I was scheduled to be the finale. I'm NOT finale material. So. NOT.  But, I did my best. I read a sweet/sensual piece from the sequel to Precinct 13, which is the book I just sold to Wizard Tower Press.  That seemed to go over well. I only stumbled over one line at the very beginning.  

The second piece I read (the first one clocked in at 4 and a half minutes, and I was booked for twelve, so I had to read something else) was actually bit of fan fiction of mine that involves kinbaku, the Japanese art of rope bondage. As noted at the start of this, I get very flushed and flustered reading anything erotic out loud. For a while, when I first starting writing sex scenes as part of my profession as a romance writer, I had to touch type them while LOOKING AWAY FROM THE SCREEN, I was so embarrassed. So, I decided to ask for some help from the audience--audience participation, if you will. So, I asked people to shout out a word for anatomy that starts with "c" and sort of looks like a single finger when I raised one finger, and another part of anatomy that is plural and is usually connected to the first one when I raised two fingers. The audience was very enthusiastic about this. 

But what was funny? I think they were quietly getting into the story, which was kind of unexpected?  I mean, it's out of context and there's some bits that can not possibly have made any sense, but the first time they did their bit and shouted out the words for me, I tried to make a little editorial comment about how wonderfully enthusiastic they were, but the vibe I got from the audience was very "yeah, yeah, get back to the STORY!!"

Which I mean... I guess it never occurred to me that the audience might be very _into_ the story.

I still think it worked pretty well. Having other people say the stuff that I find particularly difficult to say out loud without giggling or stammering awkwardly certainly made the reading more fun for *me.*  

But the unexpected reaction was just sort of funny.

Hopefully, it all worked, I don't know. Personally, I would not have had *me* go last, but people seem to expect great things from me. (You win one second place Dick....) In all seriousness, the other guests were much more polished and professional than I was and I was super impressed with them all. catherineldf read an amazing bit about being a temp worker in an office full of SUPER HOT vampires, which she delivered with her usual style and grace. Laura Packer performed (and I mean PERFORMED) this spooky, mesmerizing retelling of Snow White, where Snow White is the monster of the story. Tom S. Tea read tentacle porn to DIE for.... and then I bumbled in.  Still, the show was super. I am seriously considering making Not-So-Silent Planet a regular thing next season.

And now it is snowing buckets. 

Oh, and school was cancelled for today. Whee!

Things are starting to roll in for 2019 and I thought I would make an initial list of some things I will be / am considering doing:

February 2 through March 23 (Saturdays) 10 am to noon, I will be teaching science fiction writing at the Loft (The Loft Literary Center
, Suite 200, Open Book Building, 1011 Washington Avenue South, Minneapolis): Mars Needs Writers: Writing SF/F for Publication. As far as I know, there is still space in this class, so if you are local to me and interested, check it out. I will say that (IMHO) the Loft's prices are fairly steep, but they always offer one scholarship per class.

On February 19th at 8 pm, I will be one of the featured erotic fiction writers at the Not So Silent Planet Open Mic at Kieran's Irish Pub (85 N. 6th Street) in Minneapolis. I have no earthly idea what I will read for 12 minutes, but that's never stopped me from accepting a gig before in my life.

I don't know if I'll be attending MarsCON this year or not. (March 1-3, Hilton Minneapolis/St Paul Airport/Mall of America, 3800 American Blvd. E., Bloomington.) Obviously, if I go, I'll have to miss part of the Saturday of this con, as it overlaps my Loft class. Every year, I wonder if I should do MarsCON, and then someone invites me to do programming and I agree because it's one of the first cons of the season and I just kind of get caught up in the momentum... and then sometimes, afterwards, I think... "Am I getting tired of this one? Should I have taken a break for a couple of years to see if it feels fresher, later?"

There is also Anime Detour (March 29-31, Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Minneapolis) to consider.  At one point, I was talking to a Bleach fan friend on Discord and we discussed a IRL meet-up at something like Detour, complete with old lady (me, not them) cosplay. I attend Detour (and any other anime cons) entirely as a fan, so that could be fun, if I were going with/going to meet-up with a friend. I think I would be V. SAD to do Detour entirely on my own--especially as I am 50+ years old and Detour is the kind of con that has a "letter to parents" because their median age is 14.

---

Right. That's it for the moment.

I'm sure others will roll in. The other local con I often attend is CONvergece (July 4-7), but that's another ?? for me, as our family vacation is going to shifted around this year, thanks to my nephew's wedding.  I also always hold out hope that naomikritzer will be nominated for another Hugo, and that will "force" me to attend WorldCON, which, this upcoming year, will be in Dublin, Ireland. (August 15-19) I am sorely tempted to try to convince my family to go to this, if only because we have family in Dublin. (Not 'blood' relations, but the more important kind of family--MADE family.) It would be fairly amazing to visit them 'in situ.' They have made the overseas trip to us at least twice.

Annnnnyway....

Mostly, I wanted to post that Kieran's Pub gig because I haven't put it into my calendar yet and I don't want to forget that I agreed to do it. They are planning on paying me a small amount, so it would be very gauche of me to skip out due to nothing more pressing than a brain fart.

There's not a lot else to report around these parts. I have to deliver Mason's Switch to school tonight, as they are having their robotics holiday/end of year party. I'm also, apparently, bringing a couple of liters of some soda/pop or other, but that's such normal mom-duties, it's hardly worth mentioning. Though I have no idea how my child is even functioning right now, as he was up until 3 am working on his AP Human Geography project. This was, I suspect, a question of time management gone awry, but Mason also DREADS any project that involves art. He also tends to underestimate how long it takes him to draw _anything_, as he hates it so much that he never draws and so his lack of skills/practice combined with a RAGING case of perfectionism means he struggles with every second of it. 

But, whatever. He has no school tomorrow and can literally crash as soon as I bring him home and sleep as long as he likes.

Our whole family has taken Solstice (tomorrow) off, so we will be doing our festivities. I have to buy a few things yet--a Christmas (as opposed to Solstice) ham as well as a cheesecake for the same. But, otherwise, I think we're going to spend the day time indoors making rosettes, the last of the holiday cookies, and then the night tending our fire/the light.  I will try to remember to give a full report afterwards.

Right. I'd best run off to the store to grab that pop--and maybe see what might be had for dinner.

Blessed Solstice to those who celebrate. Happy Friday to the rest of you.

 Well, CONvergence has been over for almost a week now and I never managed to write-up my con report.  All I can say to that, is that this week STARTED with me showing up to my library gig at New Brighton at quarter to five on Monday only to hear them announce that the library would be closing in fifteen minutes.... 

Luckily, it wasn't that I had completely missed my shift, BUT that I'd showed up a day early.

OMG.

I had somehow mentally shifted my entire week in my head, because then I also had a panic about a talk I'd agreed to give at the University of Minnesota, which I suddenly worried conflicted (it didn't. That was last night, Wednesday.)  The only good thing that came out of that is that one of my colleagues at work might have me come to her library science class at St. Kate's and have me talk about manga/anime for libraries, which would be neat.

Last night, I was a guest at "From Rocket Ships to Gender Politics." There were only about 11 students, so that was a pretty perfect size, and they had all just finished reading Neal Stephenson's SNOW CRASH, which was a nice segue into my version of cyberpunk. I only feel a little badly because I am a very bombastic personality (Scorpio with a Leo Rising, heavy on the Leo Rising!) and I pretty much dominated the classroom discussion for 2 and a half hours. I gave away various copies of books that I had lying around, which was great.  I'm almost nearly entirely out of RESURRECTION CODE hardcopies.

But, that was a good time. I had initially expected to only have to carry 45 minutes or so of the class, but we were having too much fun and I ended up staying longer and longer.  :-)  In fact, I ended up staying all the way through and even listened to the class discussion of SNOW CRASH, which was interesting, since I haven't tried to re-read that book since it came out.

Okay, so, backtracking to CONvergence....

My CONvergence was fairly good.  It ended on a down note for me, but that was kind of me just feeling like a fraud/loser who hasn't published anything since 2013 (which is accurate, but mostly I don't feel the loser/fraud part so keenly.) I think having two panels in a row about literary awards is what caused that, alas.  

One of the first things that happened when I got to con on Thursday was that I ran into my old editor (now writing colleague) Laura Anne Gilman.  Laura Anne and I ended up hanging out together, getting coffee, and generally having a great time chatting about state parks and road trips and things like that.  I mean, I never know how she feels about me, but, this many years later, I have nothing but fond memories.  I ended up following her to her panel on "How to Say 'No' to Your Editor." I probably embarrassed her by publicly commenting that I thought that her editorial letter, while LONG, actually made my novel better.  Which is all true, and it's not like sucking up to her NOW would help my career any.

From there I had a panel, which I moderated, on DEATH NOTE a manga which has spawned a zillion adaptations, including an American remake for Netflix.  I thought that panel went very well. I think it helps that I reread the entire manga a few days earlier, so all the character interactions were fresh in my mind.

I did a lot of bumming around at con this year because I was semi-chaperoning three teenagers: Mason, his girlfriend, and their mutual guy friend.  So, I took them all out to dinner and whatnot and ended up watching part of the "Infinity War" panel with them. But, while waiting for my teens to get their acts together, I ran into opalsong and talked fandoms and the various things she's been podcasting.  I made Thursday an early night, though. I think we were all home by 8pm-9pm. 

Friday I had a 9:30 am panel. I saw Eleanor having breakfast in the hotel restaurant and so I crashed her table for a few minutes (and an extra cup of coffee) before my panel. Anne Lyle was there so we ended up talking about the World Cup and some of the other differences between American and U.K. life.

My panel, another one that I moderated, seemed to also go pretty well. This one was about Timothy Dalton as Bond and I think we ended up with a fairly lively discussion, despite the early hour.

At some point later, I ended up at "Judging a Book By its Cover."  CONvergence always has this track of panels that are really more like entertainment, Villification Tennis, Power-point Karaoke, the Poetry Slam, etc.  This one is one that Mason and I have seen before and it is almost always quite hilarious, even if the 'panelists' flail, because the covers they find for it are always worth the price of admission.  But, the performers were all amazing, so it was very entertaining.

I spent a LONG time sitting on the floor near the costuming atrium near the pool/cabana area chatting with Ty Blauersouth about... kind of everything, which was lovely.  

Then, I was one of the judges for the Poetry Slam, which went very well. It was enough fun that I think I'm going to try to catch it next year, even if I'm not a participant.

The final panel of Friday for me was another one I moderated which was the Chuck Tingle fan panel. I'm not sure how well that one went, but the audience seemed to enjoy it as one of them gave me a "good job" ribbon afterwards (which is only ironic since I really felt like I'd flailed around a lot.)  But, I mean, the subject matter alone is fairly entertaining, so there is that.

Saturday was my off day, but I did get to have lunch with naomikritzer and Ms. Shannon Paul, which prompted me to hit the comedy show to watch Ms. Shannon perform, which was, by far, the highlight of my day.

I ended up skipping con entirely on Sunday because I was WORN OUT.

 ...but it probably won't.

The last few days have been very dreary. There's been cloud cover and cold, moist winds that smell like rain.  Yesterday, it actually sprinkled for all of ten minutes (it even thundered), but when all was said and done, it was a very lackluster show of moisture.  I think my plants would really like some wet.  If it's going to be dark and stormy-looking, I wish it would just commit to the idea.

Weather people are saying it might actually snow. Of course, it'll do THAT, now that every Minneapolitan/Saint Paulie spent the weekend uncovering their various gardens. My luck, the snow will kill the few things that have managed to sprout in my otherwise dead yard.

I think this is the year I give up on grass.  I've been trying to re-grass the top of our hill, under our maple tree for the last couple of years.  I usually have pretty decent luck getting grass to sprout, but it never manages to really take hold and survive the winter.  I think it's time to look at a shade garden for the top of the hill.  Ferns and hostas and stuff like that.  

Usually, my biggest hold up for projects like this is money.  Hostas are surprisingly expensive.  Plants, in general.  So, if you're local to me and you hear about plant sales/giveaways please let me know.  I think this week I might go to Menards some dirt and start prepping the area.  Somewhere in this house we still have a gift certificate someone gave us to Gerten's. I might have to make a trip out there soon to see what they have that might work under the tree.

In other, possibly more exciting news, I'm doing a reading tonight at Magers & Quinn in Minneapolis from 7 pm to 8 pm.  I'm going to be part of a group that's reading from the anthology we were all published in: BOUNDARIES WITHOUT: The Calument Editions 2017 Anthology of Speculative Fiction (link is to the Kindle edition, but it's also available in paperback).  It's sometimes tough to find parking in Uptown, but I usually park in the ramp there behind the square or whatever it's called. Should be a good night. I hope to see some of you there.

For some reason Magers & Quinn could not get copies of PRECINCT 13 to sell, so if you go, you might want to ask them to order a few copies and/or bring your own for me to sign. This has been happening to me a lot--where I agree to be at various venues, and the book purchasers say that they can't get my most recent publication.  The first time this happened, I discovered it was because SONG OF SECRETS was showing up as my latest release.  That book has been completely pulled by the publisher for various and sundry reasons. But, even when I underscore to bookstore people that, no, please get my most recent Penguin release, they can't seem to manage it.  I don't really understand why not. From what I can tell, all my romance books are still available.  It's concerning.  I suppose I should see if I can order some from Penguin for myself to sell (because that's what Magers & Quinn wanted me to do--bring my own for them to sell on commission, but I don't normally keep my own books around, since they SHOULD be easy to order.)

On the other hand, maybe my lack of other books will inspire more listeners to buy a copy of the anthology.  I'll look at it that way.  Besides, I suspect that a lot of people who know me have already bought their copies of Precinct 13 some time ago.  :-)

The Rivendell Discussion Group of the Mythopoeic Society has invited me to join their discussion of "The Hobbit: That Wasn't in the Book" at Common Good Books in St. Paul on Monday, September 22 at 7 PM.  (September 22, of course, being the date recognized as Bilbo and Frodo's birthday by most Hobbit/LotRs fans.)  \

Apparently, Gandalf David was having some trouble finding a burglar panelist for this gig.  I'm not quite sure about this funny mark he's left of my door, but I'm sure it will all be fine.  I'm not really the adventurous type, you know.  Do hope there might be a bit of singing, though (and some sexy dwarves.)

Fingers crossed.  See you there, perhaps.

Shawn arrived home safely on Friday night. The only thing that went awry while she was away was that I totally forgot to go pick up our very last CSA box. I blame MEA or whatever reason it was that we didn't have school. I managed to remember that it was Thursday in terms of recycling, but we were picking up Donte for the sleepover right about when I should have been collecting the box.

And it had spinach in it too. sigh.

We spent much of Saturday recovering/decompressing from the sleepover/business trip. I had a gig at the Roseville Public Library at 3:00 pm, which was a dud. They were having me speak in the middle of their "Harvest Festival" which included things that were a lot more awesome than me, like henna tattooing, storytime, etc. Plus, they put me in a very forbidding white room. Two people came. I talked to them anyway, and somewhere near the end of the hour four other people trickled in. We'd already devolved into talking about famous people we'd met, and I was telling my story of crashing Neil Gaiman's Guy Fawkes party (and how I peed in the same stall as Ursula K. LeGuin at WisCON.) If we were at a science fiction convention, we would have retired to the bar almost right away. :-)

But, the library was beautiful and the librarians were awesome. I so don't blame them -- or even the patrons for their disinterst. There was just too much other cool stuff going on at the same time. I mean, for God(dess)'s sake, they had a Wii in the teen scene room on a widescreen. If it were me, that's where I'd have been hanging out too!

Sunday, we celebrated full moon (which was actually Friday night) and then I spent the day cooking a chicken for my nephew Jonathan. I made some very odd, but ultimately sort of tasty coleslaw of the rutabega and turnip that were left over from the previous CSA box. It was strange, but it had a nice tang that I ended up enjoying. My mashed potatoes were so creamy they almost seemed fake, you know? My bread was perfect too, so, all round it was excellent food and even better company -- though I wasn't terribly focused for some reason. I think it might have been the rainy weather and the slowness of the weekend. Also, I spent a lot of my day reading and that can turn me rather introspectively quiet.

I finished up GRACLING by Katlin Cashore. Normally, I'm not a fan of BFFWMs (Big, Fat Fantasies with Maps,) but this YA was extremely compelling. Our heroine, Katsa, lives in a world where people like my mother (born with two different colored eyes) are graced -- they have some kind of superpower. Katsa has one blue, one green eye and her grace is killing. She's being used as a tool by her uncle, the king, and meets her match one day when she runs into Po, a foreign prince graced with fighting.

Or so it seems.

This book is new enough that I don't want to spoil it, so I won't tell you much more other than things are wonderfully complicated -- in a way that made me depressed that I hadn't thought of this idea first, you know?

At first I had a hard time relating to Katsa, but I eventually got used to Cashore's storytelling style, which reminded me of what I've read of Eleanor Arason's unfinished YA (the bonus of being in Wyrdsmiths.) Also, having just read HUNGER GAMES triology, I kept expecting something REALLY AWFUL to happen, and I was estaticlly relieved when it didn't. That might make it sound like nothing happens in this story, but that's not true. The story isn't typical hanging-on-the-edge-of-my-seat kind of exciting, but I was entirely engaged in the characters and what was happening in a way I haven't been in a long time. So I enthusiastically recommend it to anyone who hasn't picked it up yet.

Also, and this is perhaps a weird comment, but I think I liked GRACLING because Katsa might be a courtly lady in a fantasy world, but all the things that bug me about fantasies bugged Katsa too. The court politics (while there and part of the story) were uninteresting to her. She found women's place in society wrong and unjust (and she eventually does something about it.) She's determined to remain unmarried and childless in a way you don't usually find in such an incredibly romantic story in a pastoral fantasy, you know? I found that utterly awesome. Plus, she's very obviously straight, but she cuts her hair like a boy and ocassionally passes as a boy in society. She extraordinarily butch, and I like that because as a teen I would have adored having this role model to consider among all the other character's lives I was "trying on" as part of my coming out process.

In fact, she's kind of who I was in high school before I realized that I didn't thrill to men quite the way I did to women. (For those who don't know, I like boys. I dated boys all though high school and into my first few months of college.) Anyway, Katsa is very admirable throughout. She's the kind of heroine that I often complain about not seeing enough of -- a tough woman who is still complicatedly human in her relationships, etc. She ends up having a child to protect (one of my bugaboos particularly of strong women in film) but their relationship ends up being richly complicated as well.

Anyway, I'm afraid I'll give the whole thing away if I talk too much about it. Maybe if we meet at a science fiction convention -- and you've read it too -- we can put our heads together and really discuss the book.

That'd be fun. See you there.