Day in the Life of an Idiot

 I disappeared for a bit because I was in the midst of the horrible prep for the colonoscopy (FOR SCIENCE) and the procedure itself.

I would say all went well? But I'd be lying about the prep. I mean, technically everything happened as it should (the doctor even complimented my clean colon!), but that involved a lot of unpleasantries, including the fact that I am of the group, apparently, that barfs. FUN TIMES.

However, science has been scienced.  

Hooray!!

That occupied a lot of my brain space, which is probably good since Daunte Wright was killed by Brooklyn Center police... and my heart is breaking... again. I am so done with this narrative about the warrants out for his arrest, his drug addiction, etc., because you know what? COPS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KILL GUILTY PEOPLE, EITHER. I don't care how bad anyone is, police aren't supposed to kill. Even if someone comes at them with a knife. Even if someone is high as a kite and biting them in the face. They're supposed to be the one profession that knows how to end that conflict without loss of life. It's supposed to be why we call them. This is supposed to be what we train them to do: bring people to justice, to help them, to PROTECT... not leave them dead in the street, JFC.

Twenty year veterans should know the difference between a Glock and a taser, too. Having done some gun training as part of research for my first novel, I can tell you that most automatics, like the ones cops carry, also have a safety that you have to click "off" in order to shoot it. Bob's gun range also taught me that it is easy to accidentally discharge a gun, so you never pull it with your finger near the trigger. I was untrained and managed to remember that.  If the Brooklyn Center cops are running around with guns with their safeties off and their fingers on the trigger, there is a LOT wrong, beyond the obvious. 

It's just as well that I was hugging the porcelain throne most of Monday and recovering from the procedure yesterday. 

Ugh, I hadn't wanted to dwell on this because, frankly, I don't know what is to be done about it all. I wish I knew. Today, my coffee shop (Cladaugh for those who are local,) is donating all of its profits to the family of Daunte Wright. I bought as many coffees as I could comfortably carry. Feel free to do the same or donate to the Wright family's gofundme directly: https://gofund.me/b101c9ea or any of the organizations listed here: https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/minneapolis/how-to-support-the-black-community-in-minneapolis or here: https://www.mnallianceoncrime.org/resources-for-racial-justice-community-healing/

 I'm staying home from con this morning because I'm wiped out. Two nights in a row, I stayed out way past my bedtime. And, I mean: until 2 AM.

On Friday night, I showed up at con (which was at Crowne Plaza near the airport) around 10 pm (for those of you who know me, this is already past my bedtime, but I had napped earlier in the evening because we were all tired from having gone to the KAYSC parent orientation/dinner, which I'll write about in a moment.)  I brought my laptop because jiawen and her friend BC wanted to join a Star Trek: Discovery RPG game that John T. was running at the con.  Initially, I thought I'd mostly sit out the game and only act as technical services. But, of course that's no fun. 

I had an amazing time. John ran a good campaign--very doable in a short period and the pre-made characters all had really well-developed backstories that were easy to find a theme/personality to play.  Our players were all into it, too. I probably could have played all night.

In fact, it made me miss role-playing. I told Shawn that I'd really like to get a local group together again.

Saturday morning, I brought jiawen  back for a panel she wanted to see on game design, which was possibly the only dud of the con. To the presenter's credit, it is VERY HARD to hold forth on a panel when you're the only panelist.  Without a moderator to guide the conversation, it can be easy to ramble.  I know, because I feared this for my Queer Eye for the Yaoi Guy panel and it was only mitigated by the fact that I talked Don K in to staying at the panel table and acting as an impromptu moderator.  So, I mean, possibly the panel just needed more panelists.  Rachel and I hung out (she was Google hangout-ing in from Taiwan) chatting before and after, which was lovely.  She had maybe wanted to see another panel, but I begged off because I really felt like I needed a nap before coming back for the 5:30 pm panel I needed to moderate and, of course, the dreaded slash "midnight" reading at 10 pm.

The yaoi panel went... okay.  People always tell me that I make a good panelist and normally I agree with them because who doesn't want to believe they did well? But, I really felt scattered and all over the place, despite having actually organized my thoughts in a blog on Mangakast. So, if you're curious about the topic, you can feel free to read my far more cogent thoughts there.

One person in the audience gave me a mission. I'm going to see if I can find any yaoi with actual "coming out" stories as part of any plot/romance.

Then, I hung around the con chatting with John T. and I ended up following him to his panel about sex in RPG gaming and even though there was only one other person there (Rae) we had a really interesting discussion about all sorts of interpersonal issues in RPG table top gaming. I invited Rae to dinner with John and I and we were joined by Jason S. and Joe A. and, then later, by Kate J. 

Thank all the gods for Kate because she made the slash reading into a HUGE success.

As many of you know, I have a lot of trouble reading the sexy bits OUT LOUD. I have, in the past, employed audience participation and, like in this case, a stunt reader who takes over for me when things get rough. I would love to do this again at the next Gaylaxicon or ConFABulous, but NOT ALONE. I'm pretty sure the audience is getting super tired of *my* porn.

But, then I ended up chatting with Kate until 2 AM again.  Not that I think I made much sense after 1 AM, but Kate is such an interesting person that I could probably have talked to her all night, too.

Now I am brain dead.

The KAYSC dinner was great, though entirely less informative than I'd hoped. Shawn and I had hoped to get a behind the scenes tour of the Science Museum out of it, but the dinner was actually at a community center.  But, the food was good, catered by Boca Chica. The presentation as good, though slightly less informative than we wanted. Our take away was that, in a lot of ways, the actual projects that the kids do are kind of actually secondary to the learning to do them.  Which is fine? I mean, seriously? Getting paid for what amounts to research training?  Yeah, that's possibly the best job, ever.  

It's been an amazing weekend. 

Now I go sleep.