Day in the Life of an Idiot

First things first, Shawn is doing well.

Part of her foot/leg is still a little numb, but when I asked her about it right now, she said, "It's getting a little better." She's pretty convinced that it's back related, since she's starting to get a few twinges now and again. That hospital bed was crap. Plus, she could not roll on to her side to sleep, thanks to all the wires and IVs and whatnot, so I'm SURE that contributed to whatever pinched nerve thing is going on.

We saw the hematologist on Tuesday morning. That was reassuring, as the doctor said that all of the extra blood work/genetic tests came up negative, so there was no hitherto unknown, random genetic mutation causing blood clots for Shawn. The longterm use of estrogen does seem to be the main suspect. She's completely off that now, so there really should NOT be any new problems. The only thing looming, potentially, are some menopause symptoms, but they had put her on an anti-depressant that has an off-label usage for hot flashes, etc., and that seems to have done the trick, so far as we can tell. She's tapering off those now, too, on doctor's okay. The hematologist is going to check back in with us in five months. If Shawn's blood shows no sign of extra-clot-y-ness, then she can be weaned off the blood thinners, as well.

Shawn's diet is 100% back to normal now, too.

She's still doing an erratic work schedule. Shawn still gets REALLY EXHAUSTED easily, but she's managed a couple of full days. She's just got so much vacation and sick time that she's decided to go ahead and burn through it so that she doesn't overdo it at work. I think this is always a wise course. There is nothing worth your health, IMHO. But, especially not work.

Meanwhile, our kitty Deliah continues to quite literally limp along. The vet consulted with her colleagues and it's fairly clearly bone cancer/lymphoma of some sort that is eating away at Deliah's hipbone. There was talk of chemotherapy and bone biopsies, but we have decided to go more palliative, in terms of our care plan for this sixteen year old cat.

Deliah is currently on pain meds, a steroid, and an antibiotic--all of which seem to be doing her a world of good. She stopped hiding and, even though her limp is still pronounced, she's been making it up and down the stairs, up on to the bed (with the help of a step stool that we had there for our other elderly cat, anyway,) and even into the windowsill to watch the birds. She's been eating and drinking normally. The only hiccup is the liter box. She can get into it okay, but she has trouble lifting her tail, so I've had to do a bit of "clean-up on aisle five" as we like to say.  If I can clear out anything large, she will still clean herself, so that's something, too. The worst part of Ms. Ball's illness was watching her be unable to even do basic grooming. 

So, outside of a few issues, Deliah quality of life is currently basically back to normal.  

I think we're just going to hold the course, then, as long as we can. For us, what's important is that Deliah is able to do what she wants and needs to. When she's no longer able, we'll revisit all of this.

Old cats are old, alas.

Mason and I are leaving Friday morning for LA. We found ourselves a funky little hotel in Culver City (one of the zillion LA suburbs) that is close to a lot of fun things and not far from a light rail stop. Despite everyone's advice to the contrary, Mason and I are going to attempt to do LA without a car. If we decide we want to drive up Highway 1, we may rent one then, but mostly I'd like to try to make do with taxis and public transit. WISH ME LUCK. This may be a very foolhardy attempt. 

Other than the e-sports games and the tour of UCLA, we don't have a lot of stuff planned. I'm hoping to do what we did in Washington, D.C., all those years ago, and just bring along all our guide books and make up an itinerary each day, as we go. Neither of us are big on the whole Hollywood / Universal Studios part of LA, so we are likely to be doing a lot more of the off-the-beaten track things. I'm very excited to discover that there is a Japantown (Little Tokyo) in LA, as well as a number of other ethnic neighborhoods for us to explore. Mason really wants to spend some time at the ocean, so we're likely to do that, as well.

It feels weird not to have a lot of plans. But, I dunno, it should be interesting.

The timing is a little goofy, but Shawn is definitely well enough that I don't feel terrified to leave her on her own. Even so, I feel like this summer has been a lot more running around and traveling and, well, freaking out, than I normally like. I have to honestly say that I'm looking forward to school starting and for all of us to return to a normal routine.

Oh, what am I reading on this Wednesday? Not a ton. Mason gave me Six of Crows (a YA fantasy novel) to read while we were in the hospital, which I'm still slowly working on.  I also read a couple of manga, including Given (which all the kids are into, thanks to a new anime on Crunchyroll, which I'm also all caught up on--new one out tomorrow!) The others that I read were in prep of a yakuza based podcast I'm going to be recording soon, but they aren't otherwise really worth mentioning. When the podcast comes out, I'll definitely post a link here, anyway.

 All my classes are finished, the evaluations filled out and turned into to the main office. All that is left for me to do is unpack the various bags I used to haul things to and from the Loft.

Mason has been delivered to the Science Museum for his work. This week, he's doing another camp as an assistant counselor. He confessed to me over coffee this morning that he's kind of excited to be a helper at this one, because it's LEGO camp. It's kind of fun that he's basically getting to participate in camps that we would have loved to have been able to send him to as a kid, if we could have signed-up in time (I think these always fill up quickly) and/or had the money.  

He's such a good kid that he told me that he'd signed up for the 8:30 am shift because he wanted to have time in the afternoon for house projects (like those damn steps we still need to fix) and being around for mom.He HATES getting up early in the summer. So, this was a sincerely lovely gesture.

Shawn is trying a few hours back at work. She was looking exhausted already when I dropped her off, so we joked that she would go in long enough to drop off a puzzle to the break room and I'd swing back after having delivered Mason and she could call it good enough. It's the migraines rather than the blood clot that seem to be dogging her. She's on DAY THREE of a cluster headache that she can't shake and you can just see the wear on her face. But so, I agreed to head back to fetch her around 10:30 am. I have to say, I deeply approve. No point in pushing it. Nothing is so important at work to compromise recovery.

But, so it feels weird to have the mornings and the house back to myself. I'm sitting right now, but I can see all the laundry that piled up in the meantime and the dishes that won't do themselves. I don't even want to talk about how long the grass has grown or how weed-choked the gardens are.

Even so, this feels good.

It's a return to a kind of normal, and I'm so very grateful to be on this side off all that medical nonsense. 

Mason and I have even started to plan his birthday trip.

He decided to ask for "a pony." By which I mean, he asked for something he's always wanted but never assumed was practical or affordable. He wants a trip out to Los Angeles, of all places, so that he can watch a live game of his e-sport (Overwatch.) I have never had any desire to see LA, but now that I have several guide books in hand, I can see how this could be quite a bit of fun. We're planning to head out the Friday after next (15th or something like that) and return mid-week. He's booked tickets to see the Overwatch League and I made us a School of Engineering tour at UCLA (we would have done the general tour, but the guided ones were all filled. Looks like there is an easy-to-follow self-guided tour of campus that we can also do ourselves, so we won't miss out on too much.) The only thing that's left to do is book the actual plane tickets and figure out a hotel, which I will do today--as Mason's godparents have generously offered to pay for his ticket as their second birthday present to him--they also bought him an air conditioner for his room, which we plan to install tonight. (Should have probably done it last night, given how steamy it got, but we thought of it kind of late in the evening.)

So, if any of my readers here know anything they want to impart about places to go and things to see in LA and surrounds, please let me know.

I'm a little worried about leaving Shawn on her own so soon, but there really should be no issues. She's eating nearly entirely normally now, and there's not a LOT to be done about the blood clot other than to continue to take medication.

In a couple of weeks, all three of us should be over this overwhelming sense of exhaustion, which I'm sure is partly just a flood of relief, you know? 

Right, speaking of exhaustion, I'd better hop to that housework.

For those following along on Shawn's details, the information will be under the cut. ( Medicial TMI, probably, but some may want it )

I left the hospital to teach class. Given that, it went pretty well. I have a generally great group of students, despite one, who yesterday, decided to tell me he "didn't buy it" about the idea that protagonists need to protag, and that conflict should rise (internally and externally) as the story progresses. To me, that seems kind of basic? But, I guess his favorite book is Great Gatsby, which I pointed out is not science fiction (or a book, frankly, that MOST people read for fun,) but, yeah, okay, there are always exceptions. Not sure why he decided to challenge me, but I'm not going to say 'my way or the highway' because this is writing and everyone does it differently and different things work for different readers. 

That was just annoying, however, because I have zero f*cks to give right now.

Dude was lucky that I didn't just smile and say, "So... how many books have you published, then?" But, I wasn't ENTIRELY raised in a barn and that would not be productive. Beside, maybe he will prove me wrong and write an amazing book where nothing happens, the protagonist is only ever acted on, and there is zero internal or external conflict.

Only one more class to teach, but, unfortunately, Monday I start my teen class. Shawn is likely to still be here so that sucks.

I deference to folks who do not want their feed full of Shawn's medical stuff, I will put all of that under the cut.

Mason and I are actually back at home right now for reasons I will explain in a moment, but which is nice because... today is Mason's 16th birthday! Not the best day, given everything that's happening, but he's been an extreme trouper. It probably helps him to know that we will be giving him the very best birthday OBSERVED in the history of birthdays observed I've already floated the idea that if he wanted a trip to the West Coast to watch his e-sports live later this summer, this is THE year to ask for it. Mason is a BIG Overwatch fan and they play live matches in LA, which I would not hate to have to visit, myself, especially since we could rent a car and explore some of California while we were there.

Okay, on to the medical nonsense: ( cut for those who just do NOT want for whatever 100% valid reason )

Mason has been coming up with ways to still make today a little special, so another thing we hope to do is walk up to Cosetta's (an Italian deli very close to the hospital) and eat there for dinner. It's one of Mason's favorites, but Shawn is very 'meh' on it, so in a lot of ways it's the perfect celebration/not celebration. 

Okay, so that's all the news for right now! I'm going to check on the laundry and do the dishes!

Okay, lots to report. First of all, for those of you following along on the "all that crap" keyword, (aka, my father's lingering struggle with a number of health issues), there is FINALLY good news to report. He is at the recovery wing of the nursing home again, having been given a clean bill of health from the doctors at the hospital. Though they're still not entirely sure what what caused his mini-strokes (TIA), they think it has to do with heart arthythmia that he developed after the hip replacement surgery. Also, I need to post a correction: apparently, he (thankfully!) only suffered TWO mini-strokes, the first one that had everyone worried because it lasted several hours, and a second that lasted no more than a minute or so. At any rate, the good news is the docs sent him on for recovery and now he only has to focus on re-learning how to walk after six months of near-inactivity (though they always worked to keep his leg strength up during his previous nursing home stays.)

Secondly, I attended a "breaking" workshop at KSW. I failed to break my board. I was one of only two adults unable to do it. I suspect, considering the bruises that have developed and where they are on my hand, my technique was off. (Also, huge mental block: I kept thinking -- I have no health insurance; if I do this wrong and break a knuckle, no only have I messed up my writing career, I have bankrupted my family.) This experience has made me convinced that I was a T-Rex in a past life: I'm viscious, but have _zero_ upper body strength. ;-)

I should also say, I had no problem breaking the practice boards. Just confronted with a solid piece of wood freaked me out.

Everyone was so very sweet and concerned for my ego at the workshop. Though my hand is bruised, my ego is not, my friends. Master Barry Harmon (Kwan Jang Nim) made a point of pulling me aside and telling me that a) I had a lot to work on, and b) that he was proud that I never gave up. I said something self-depricating at the time, but I wish I'd told him what I said to Nicki (Jo Kyo Nim) when she asked me to consider why I do Kuk Sool Wan, and that is, "I do this because it's fun, Master, and giving up *isn't* fun."

The other news is that my psuedonym continues to be successful as all get out. Tate can report that you can now not only pre-order the mass-market paperback edition of Tall, Dark & Dead via Amazon.com, but also the third, and final novel in the vampire princess of St. Paul series, Almost Everything.

So, I guess that's all I got for now. I have to run off to volunteer because it's Thursday!

You know the Jewish tradition where, when someone is gravely ill, you give them a new name, so that the Angel of Death will walk by when he comes looking for them? Well, my dad has always gone by a nickname, "Mort." I'm really starting to believe that the angel of death keeps showing up asking for "Richard Morehouse" and, only finding this "Mort" guy, leaves.

I got a call yesterday morning that my dad had a stroke.

Yes, this after successfully surviving sepsis, c-def, and months in the recovery wing of the nursing home while waiting for a hip replacement. My mom had been worried, starting Saturday, because my dad was having a really difficult time recovering from the surgery. It went into overtime by several hours, and, while my dad is clearly a really tough bird, it really seemed to have knocked him back. She said he was confused at one point and thought he was still getting ready to go into surgery. This freaked me out, but all the other signs seemed okay, so I tried to put it out of my mind.

Then, on Sunday, after I took Shawn to the airport (she's off on a work trip to a conference in Washington, D.C.), I got home to the message. I'd left my cell charging because it had run out of battery unexpectedly the night before. (For some reason it's stopped giving me the warning beeps when it's low.) Anyway, there were three fairly frantic messages from my mom. I finally was able to call her back and find out what was going on.

He'd had a stroke. The doctors said they think it was a kind of stroke called a transient ischemic attack. They'd know more in 48 hours. (Now having read the wikipedia article, I know why. Apparently the effects are reversable if they last as long as 24 hours, but fewer than 72.)

I'm still not entirely clear WHY this happened to my dad. The surgery he underwent was pretty routine, even if it did go into overtime. He's been through a LOT in the last six months, but he was in fairly good shape when they checked him in before the procedure. Though, he has had problems with blood clots in the past, it's not clear that's what caused this. The multitude of theories my mom has heard from various doctors include the absorption rate of the anesthesia during the long procedure to something messed up in his brain stem... none of which are very clear to me or make a whole lot of sense.

The important thing is that he's regained his speech as of this morning, and strength has returned to his right side. Right now, as long as things continue to be stable, the doctors are predicting a full recovery.

I tell you though, this has been a serious emotional ride for me (as I'm sure it has been ten times that for my mom and my dad's sister, Mary Ann, who has been a trouper by showing up every day during this entire saga.) Last night, I had the craziest nightmare that I know is related. I had one of those dreams where someone is trying to get into the house. I'm trying to avoid being see by this shadowy figure -- ducking down before reaching up to lock windows, avoiding answering the door. I'm in the upstairs bathroom with Shawn and I'm telling her, "for god's sake, don't tell anyone it's okay to come in," when I realize it's too late. The shadowy figure is at the landing of the stairs. I'm completely impotent against it. I try to throw a recipie book I'm holding at it, but it bounces of (or passes through, at any rate, it's useless). I'm trying to tell it that I can see it and it should go away, but my mouth won't work, I've got something stuck in my throat. I can't breathe. That moment freaks me out so much that I wake up. My heart is pounding.

I actually go up to make sure no one was on the landing, of course. And I took my asthma medicine in case I really WAS having trouble breathing, but as I laid in bed thinking about that dream. I knew it was the angel of death. I was trying, subconsciously, to keep the "wolves" from the door.

Maybe it worked. Fingers crossed.

I'm beginning to believe in fate a bit. I mean, I lost all those words, right? Well, I've been going over the novel as I decide what needs to be re-keyed from paper drafts or rewritten entirely and I discovered several places where I can make the story make MORE SENSE! (and/or be more dramatic, etc.) To be fair, I tend to do this sort of massive revision at some point during my novel writing process, but I think that there are times when I think, "Oh, well, I'll change this little thing here rather than completely scrap the scene," you know? Now, since I have no scene to scrap -- well, I think it's all for the better.

Plus, I have this fancy new Toshiba. It was a super-cheap computer, because, well, I drop computers, but what I really, really like about it? The keys click. When I write it SOUNDS like I'm writing, you know?

That's almost as cool as getting a new pen and notebook. (Some of you know what I'm talkin' about.)

In other news, we're back from our trip to LaCrosse. We happened to be down at the same time as the Great River Folk Festival and River Pride (LaCrosse's GLBT Pride festival.) We attended neither, but, instead hung out with "the old guy," aka my dad. He's doing so much better. He's still in the recovery wing of the nursing home waiting for hip surgery, but every time I see him he's more and more like his old self. I don't think I quite realized how profoundly sick he was until I saw how vastly he improved.

At any rate, we have our fingers crossed that the hip surgery will happen in mid-September. Then he'll be singing, "Free at last, free at least. Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last."

Shawn and I did drive by the Pride festival because Shawn spotted the gathering out of the corner of her eye. Let's just say I'm happy that I live in Minneapolis/St. Paul. There were a bunch of idiots with the hateful protest signs outside the entrance, so you had to walk past them to get into the fair grounds. Not very good planning on the pride people's part. I did my duty, however, and flipped off some yahoo holding a sign about the sin of sodomy. If Mason hadn't been in the car I would have yelled to him, "If you don't approve, don't engage in it!" (Since it does seem that, in the case of a lot of Republican congress critters those that protest the loudest seem to have the most to hide.)

Ah well.

The other fun thing we did was that we spent some unexpected royality moneys that came via the Germans. (I actually made a profit for them on Tall, Dark & Dead.) We bought ourselves an iPad. The best thing we've done with it so far is buy the Scrabble app. Now all three of us play a game on the iPad after diner. Nice.

I didn't end up going to kuk sool wan last night because I got hit by an awful allergy attack. I've been told it's ragweed season, and I have to believe it. I suffered the entire day, even though we had plans to hang out at Como Zoo with my friend Eric Heideman. We still managed to have a good time checking out the grizzlies and the polar bears, but I noticed the woman who sold us the snow cones was also suffering.

Today seems better, perhaps because of the impending rain?

Anyway, I should go write. Clickity-clack! Clickity-clack!

I just noticed that I have failed to update my blog since my dad went into surgery last Wednesday. The trip home on the train that night was absolutely lovely. The train was on time, and, thanks to the flooding in the Dakotas, St. Paul is its terminal stop. I walked home from the Amtrack station, which is six (LONG) blocks from my house. It's a bit of a hike, but it was a lovely night and I had traveled lightly (one backpack). It's always so strange to walk alone at night and I enjoyed the hushed, almost voyeristic sensation of dark streets and bright indoor lights.

My dad seems to be doing well. Today will be his first day out of the hospital, and he's returning to the Bethany Riverside nursing home to continue his recovery. He had hoped to finally be going home, but they need to continue an IV drip of antibiotics to fight off this tenacious infection. If they get this thing beat (and the doctor, the last I heard at any rate, seemed confident they would,) they'll be able to schedule his real-and-for-true hip replacement. That should be some time in September if everything stays positive. If not, my understanding is that they will just have to pospone things until the infection *is* finally cleared up.

My life, meanwhile, continues apace. On the train ride home last Wednesday, I had a kind of breakthrough moment with the newest novel and I like it a lot better. When I like a novel, it writes faster, so that's a very good thing. In fact, just today, while Shawn hung out with a fellow laid-off state employee, I managed to write nearly a thousand words in about an hour. That's my usual pace for a deadline novel.

I also FINALLY had the ceremony in which I received my yellow belt. (I'd tested earlier, but they've moved the ceremony to a later time now.) Turns out, the ceremony is now: "promotion and demo." I didn't know about that last part, so I was taken aback when asked to perform the white belt form in front of an audience. I think I did pretty well, and I was glad I wasn't all alone (an instructor and the blue belt candidate did it with me). Still, the whole time I was thinking, "ah, crap. I didn't take my inhaler because I thought I'd just be standing around" and it was like 103 and humid in the building.) But I didn't need it, even though later I also had to do a cartwheel AND a roll. I was pleased that I was able to do a "flying roll" (really, just a roll from a dead run onto a mat,) because, in all honesty, I like those better than having to start from kneeling or a crouch.

Mason, alas, was in charge of the camera, so, while he took a LOT of pictures, the quality on many of them is dubious. It's a really big shame that Shawn wasn't there with her telephoto lens skillz, because I would have LOVED to have seen myself "in action," as it were. Given how round I am in the one pretty good picture he got, I suspect I look a LOT like Kung Fu Panda.

... and realizes there's a government shutdown.

Shawn was terribly sick last week, so that, even though the MN State government was shutdown last week, she didn't really notice. She mostly just slept, coughed and blew her nose a lot. It was more like being out sick than being laid-off.

This morning, she's finally feeling better... and she remembered.

After the storm woke us up, she was awake much of the night worrying about everything. Shawn is a natural worrier, but, well, this situation is particularly worrisome.

Meanwhile, I'm getting ready for a trip down to LaCrosse. I'm going to hang out with my mom on Wednesday while my dad has the first of his hip replacement surgeries. The doctors did find more infection, so this is step one of a two step process. Since Mason is back at school, I've made plans to take a shuttle down to LaCrosse and the AMTRACK back. It should be quite the adventure. I'm most looking forward to the train ride, honestly, because trains are fun. The shuttle is a bus ride, so that should just be the usual yuckiness of a long bus ride. At least the bus offers WiFi.

I hope to get some writing on the stupid novel done. Wish me luck.

I just found out via pegkerr that Minnesota writer, Joel Rosenburg has died.

I was never a fan of Joel's, though I shared a signing at Uncles with him once, and, of course, knew him tangentally through Minnesota fandom. We didn't share political views in the least, and, in point of fact, I used to love to tell the story of the time I was fairly certain Joel was going to shoot me (he was known for being a big proponent of "conceal and carry") on a panel about science fiction and 9/11 when I started to talk about my take on Israel. God Herself intervened on my behalf, however, when Joel got a phone call and was forced to leave the panel. I liked to say that I was "saved by the bell."

All that aside, I hope that you rest in peace, Joel Rosenburg. Given everything that's been going on with my family, I feel especially keenly for Joel's family and survivors. At Joel's web site, I read the entire story and have to say I was quite haunted by that phrase "multiple organ failure," because that's been part of what my own father is currently recovering from.