Too Much Sin To Be Saved

[lydamorehouse]

The Jehovah Witnesses came knocking Monday night. I was cleaning the house getting ready for my SASE group, and so I was a bit surprised to find a smiling, young African American woman that I didn’t know standing in my porch. She said she was a volunteer, and since it’s nearly election time, I totally expected to be subjected to some “can we count on your support” speech. However, she simply thrust some literature at me and scurried out the door.

When I looked down at the “Worldwide Message: The End of False Religion is Near” superimposed over gathering storm clouds and lightening, I was disappointed she never even spoke more than a few words to me. Aren’t they supposed to try to save me?

Do you think she could tell I was a lesbian just by looking at me?

I only ask, because apparently one of the signs of false religions is that they “tolerate immoral”—(read: gay/lesbian)—“sex,” which I clearly engage in, (though not nearly as often as I’d like.) But, I mean, aren’t they supposed to still give it a go? What if I was ready to receive God and turn aside my evil ways at that very moment?

Well, this volunteer let you down, God.

Well, feeling so affronted, I decided to at least read the literature (which perhaps may be enough to save me, see earlier discussion of instant-grace,) and two things struck me. One: whoever does their graphics totally rocks. There is an AWESOME drawing of the whore of Babylon riding the ten-headed beast of the apocalypse…and I have to say, “Wow.” It’s like something out of a graphic novel. The beast is a leopard/lion/tiger thing and it looks so cool. I may have to try to find this image elsewhere or scan it for y’all.

Second, I like the fact that Jehovah Witnesses seem to be against Bush.

Here’s why I think that. From their tract, “False Religion… Meddles in War and Politics. A prominent religious leader in the United States declared, ‘You’ve got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops.’ His solution? ‘Blow them all away in the name of the Lord.’ By contrast, the Bible says: ‘If anyone makes the statement: “I love God,” and yet is hating his brother, he is a liar.’”

Sounds like Bush, doesn’t it?

See, volunteer-lady, you could have had me at “hello.”

Comments

[naomikritzer]

JWs are supposed to try to talk to you, but most reeeeeeeally don't want to and will split as fast as they can. Their religion requires them to do this, but the fact is, most of them like doing it exactly as much as you would like door-knocking total strangers and trying to sell them a vacuum cleaner. They also receive pretty much no training (unlike the Mormons), they're just supposed to get out there and do it. Also, a lot of people are really mean to them.

JWs have come by here several times and never knocked -- they've just left their literature.

And yeah, the graphics are spiffy. My mother had a JW student once in a class, and the woman gave her a copy of a book that's used among the JWs themselves. Similarly spiffy pictures. I can bring it tomorrow and let you leaf through it if you want. They make the Earthly Paradise look very appealing -- the eternal picnic in the park on the gorgeous sunny day, basically.

[tlmorganfield.livejournal.com]

How freaky you should mention this...because I found that exact same brochure in my basement this weekend. Presumably it had been left on the door and my daughter brought it inside when she got home from school and took it down there without telling me or showing me. I was pretty intriqued by the graphics too, particularly the beast you mentioned and so started reading it, and yep, they had me nodding my head at first (I'm by no means religious, but anything that slams Bush is good in my book), but once it started in on the sin of tolerating "immoral sex", they completely lost me and it went into the garbage. My patience for non-tolerance is pretty low these days.

[seanmmurphy.livejournal.com]

Wait--so are they saying that you're going to the same hell as W? Reason enough to convert right there... that, and their artist is totally invested in depicting the whore of Babylon...

"And that day shall come, from which you may turn neither to the left nor to the right, when the Lord Almighty shall smite thee mightily. For I say unto thee, whosoever does not accept the gift of the Lord, grace freely given and instantly received--hereafter known as insta-grace--that one shall be cast down into the darkness, together with those who lie together in abomination and those who tolerate their lying down, and those who make of their lying down a thing equal to the lying down of those for whom lying down together is not an abomination (see Index 3A, table 2 for a list). Also, all others who persist in abomination shall be likewise smitten, the eaters of bacon and ham first among equals. And also Bush, who will mightly screw up in his Biblical interpretations, and wage war unjustly, punishing the masses for the sins of the few. And Commies--God doesn't like the color red. So sayeth the Lord."

<This prophecy is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual prophecies or other Biblical verses is strictly intentional and entirely satirical in nature. Complaints should be directed to 'shunya@brickwall.com'.

[seanmmurphy.livejournal.com]

This prophecy is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual prophecy or other Biblical passages is strictly intentional and entirely satirical in nature. Comments should be directed to 'shunya@brickwall.com'.

[naomikritzer]

JWs actually don't believe in hell. If you're really awful, you don't get resurrected to live on the earthly paradise (in other words, you die and never wake up -- pretty much what most atheists believe happens after death anyway).

[oneminutemonkey.livejournal.com]

I think you and the JW could have had a fantastic talk... especially if you showed them some of your SF books. :>

[morgan-dhu.livejournal.com]

I believe that JWs have long been known for their opposition to any involvement of religion in the state - to the point that devout JWs do not vote. I believe it has something to do with living in the world but not being "of" the world, but rather being "of" God. In their interpretation, aside from whatever secular engagement is necessary to live, true Christians do not do things that are "of" the world, only things that are "of" God.

I've noticed a distinct lessening of the numbers of JWs coming to my door at all in recent years. There was a time when I'd have a visit from them about once a year, but it's been ages since I've had a visit from either a JW or a Mormon.

Pity. As a confirmed animist (and hence neither theist nor atheist as they tend to define those terms) I really used to enjoy debating theology with them. They simply could not, for the most part, imagine someone who had a strong belief in spirituality but a complete disbelief in all notions of deity.

[rowan-redbeard.livejournal.com]

See, we once had the JHs come to our door and try to engage us in some back-and-forth, a little friendly sharing of opinions. But then they had to go and ask what religion we belonged to, and my mom had to go and answer (with some amount of truthfulness, I may add) that we were North American Reformed Druids. Being the chatty and curious sort, and also the sort that had heard neither of Druids nor the NAR branch, they entered with the volley of, approximately, "what does it mean to be a reformed druid?" The answer that my mom gave sadly did not set them at ease, because she proffered sweetly that it simply meant that we no longer engaged in ritual human sacrifice. It was at that point that the conversation ground to a rather abrupt halt, the JH muttered a hasty "goodbye" and we closed the door on our opportunity for salvation.

[rowan-redbeard.livejournal.com]

"JH"? I blame the treacle in my head. Or perhaps I simply meant "Jehova's Hitmen". You'll never know.

[(Anonymous)]

Things one doesn't talk about in polite company:

1. SEX AND RELIGION: Hmmm.... Lessee here. A young woman, whose religion requires her to deny her attraction to other women and has thus suppressed all of her natural sexuality is going door-to-door. One door is opened by a red-hot lesbian who later confesses that the door knocker could "have had me at hello." Naturally the young woman flees because the alternative would have been a steamy passionate afternoon's fornication.

POLITICS: Actually, the JWs do not care for Bush. Nor do they care for any politics at all. Their theology demands that they are citizens of God's nation and not any human nation. Hence they don't vote, they don't salute the flag, they don't pledge allegience, they don't sing anthems, etc. This means that JWs have won important court cases in the US that have recognized important rights for us all. The JWs won the right NOT to pledge allegience to the flag in schools, for example. They did this in 1943, if memory serves, smack dab in the middle of WWII. Pretty cool.

They also ran afoul of Der Fuehrer in Nazi Germany. In a society where it was not uncommon to answer the phone with "Heil Hitler" the JWs refused to do any such thing. Naturally, they were rounded up and sent to camps where they organized prayer groups and continued to preach. They were thus fairly effective resistors in the camps. Most impressive: they could have walked free from the camps simply by signing a loyalty oath but most refused to do so.

So the JWs are OK in my book.

[(Anonymous)]

oops, that longish comment about sex and Nazis and stuff was me, not this "anonymous" person.

jpj