Day in the Life of an Idiot

 
Image: Wildflowers at the Great River Bluffs State Park.

On Monday, my family and I went down to LaCrosse, Wisconsin for a somewhat impromptu visit to my my parents. Ostensibly, we were also there to give Mason a chance to drive around in a very low-traffic, smallish town, but, honestly, since recently discovering the very Stepford suburb of North Saint Paul that was less of a priority. It'd been way too long since I'd seen my folks, so this was a nice excuse.

To explain my comment regarding North Saint Paul, I should say that I thought of taking Mason to North Saint Paul because I used to rather enjoy my shifts at their Ramsey County Library Branch. I remember the suburb as being kind of quiet and forgotten, but in the best possible way.  So, I don't mean to dis this town in any serious way. However, driving around we seem to have discovered that the city has a series of streets named after women on one side of a rather busy thoroughfare and men on the other. And, we're talking about very WASPY names, like Betty Avenue and Margaret Street. (Betty, by the way, total dead end.) And, there are also streets legitimately named Memory Lane and Memory Court. So, while I'm sure the residents of North Saint Paul are all nice people, except for that one person with the Don't Tread on Me flag and F*ck Biden signs in the yard, it's just that their street names are a bit... spooky, in a Stepford sort of way.

Great driving, though.

The trip down to LaCrosse was great fun. We managed to roll Mason out of bed and into the car by 8 am-ish. The weather continues to be phenomenal. We normally take Scenic Highway 61 down and that drive is insanely gorgeous.... and closed somewhere between Red Wing and Lake Pepin. Except somehow we missed the detour signs in Red Wing and ended up having to depend on GPS to get us around the torn up bits. GPS has us off-roading? Like, seriously, dirt and gravel roads? But, it worked out. As I was telling naomikritzer earlier today, I wish we hadn't missed the signs? Because on the way home we got on the official detour and it was just as GORGEOUS only the views we had were up and down the bluffs... I would go that way for variety some time, if I can remember it!  

The visit with the folks was pleasant. We had a great lunch, good company, and my dad got to drive around with Mason (who did amazingly with the extra pressure of needing to impress Grandpa.) 

On the way home, I talked my family into a couple of short detours. One was to the Great River Bluffs State Park, which we didn't fully explore, although we did hike out the full 0.1 miles to this amazing overlook:


Image of the Mississippi and the Black River delta.

For those of you who imagine that the Midwest is entirely flat, that dark line on the horizon is the Wisconsin-side bluffs. We don't have mountains, it's true, but the bluffs are also NOT FLAT. This is the landscape I grew up in: deep river valleys and sandstone bluffs. You can perhaps see how I feel a certain affinity to Pennslyvania's rolling foothills and mountains. East Coasters are welcome to look up the elevation of our bluffs and snicker into your sleeves, but I dare you to drive down this part of the scenic highway and not be at LEAST a little awed by the majesty of the landscape. 

Then, I talked my family into stopping at John A. Latsch State Park. I've heard that this is the tiniest of State Parks, but it really has to be seen to be believed. For one, when you turn off the highway you're literally already there. There are zero amenities. No camping. Two picnic tables and a singular trail...


Image: my old enemy! (Stairs).

...entirely comprised of stairs. 580-some stairs? Since the signage made it very clear that we could not expect to make it to the end of the trail in less than an hour, we chose not to take the trail. I sort of regret it? I may already be making plans to return! I honestly sort of love this ridiculous park for its singular, insanely challenging trail?

Today meanwhile was vacation hangover. I have been a grouch all day and have gotten NOTHING done.

At least tomorrow is another day.

 I love my friends, I really do. But, apparently, when I explain this project to people I am not terribly clear that what I am looking for in a State Park for Mason and I is not the roads that take a person TO a State Park, but the roads INSIDE the State Park. So, today when I was chatting with my Friday Zoom friends and one of them mentioned Nerstrand Big Woods State Park, my brain went "Ooooo.". Thanks to some of the other recommendations I've gotten and the fact that I've never been there before, I thought: GREAT! That's where we'll go today.  


Image: hidden fall in the park.

Don't get me wrong. It's an incredible park.

It's just that when Mason and I switched seats at the entrance? We drove about a half a block straight into the parking lot. There are no other roads. Technically we could have driven around the campgrounds, but it's also a very small loop. 

Mason, being an amazingly good sport, rolled with this and went on hike with me.

The park is a tough one because it's being heavily impacted by climate change, but we still had a lovely walk and even encountered a bird-shaped friend!  Calling all birders!  Squint at the picture below and you'll see a bird in this road. A plover of some kind perhaps? Google (and the list that the DNR has of possible options at this State Park) makes me think American Woodcock or Wilson's Snipe is actual the better guess. But, my bird fu is very, very low. So, if you know with more certanity, please let me know!


Image: trail bird

Despite driving an hour to drive for one second, we had a great time. Mason and I even made a stop on the way back to St. Paul at a Dairy Queen and had a little ice cream treat. A good day, just not one for Mason getting much driving in.

 
Image: Baptisia lactea (White Wild Indigo) in Afton State Park

It got warmer today than I was expecting (85 F / 29 C) so we didn't do as much hiking as we might have usually, especially since Afton State Park is largely open prairie. Which is to say that the sun was beating down on us pretty harshly. As we started out we ran into a couple who were clearly park enthusiasts. They overheard me grumbling lightly that I couldn't parse the map very well and they offered to advice. What did I want to see?  My answer: honestly, anything interesting!  So, they sized us up (Mason = indoorsy, long-haired nerd + me = fat middle-aged lady) and suggested the river with the caveat: "You do go down a long way." Which I immediately understood to mean, "And that will be tough coming back up."

We decided to brave it, anyway.

So, following the directions offered, we headed down the path. The first thing we encounters was this lovely observation deck, which Mason is modeling for you:


Image: Mason overlooking at the overlook. 

We followed the path down a very steep set of stairs and met many people in presumed better shaped than I am (their outward shape: more thin and pencil-like, mine being more like a comfy pillow) huffing and wheezing up the stairs.  Undaunted, we continued on across a high bridge that overlooked a small stream. Mason's eagle eyes caught sight of a grazing deer.  We stopped and watched her for a long time. At least one other set of adventurers came past us and we tried to get their attention, but they seemed decidedly uninterested in the wildlife around them. I fully believe that State Parks are for everyone, even the casual user, or the person who might just be looking for exercise, but I'm still always a little surprised when people blank you or actively say 'no' when you offer the question, "Do you want to see a deer [or other, fill the blank cool natural thing???]" 

But after the deer wandered out of sight, we continued onward to the beach.

There were a lot of people picnicking or taking advantage of the warm weather to swim. We saw several boats out on the water, as well.


Image: the St. Croix at Aspen

I had wanted to dip my toes in to cool off, because despite all the things that I had prepared in my hiking backpack the TWO THINGS that I forgot were actually deeply critical: water bottles and THE BUG SPRAY. Afton has warnings on their website about the sheer number of mosquitos that have hatched this year, so I can not believe I was so dumb as to leave the BUG SPRAY IN THE CAR. Second, we had stopped for a lunch before taking off for our hike/drive and neglected to remember to buy a couple of bottles of water for the backpack. I was really starting to feel a bit desperate for relief from the heat. However. I didn't end up putting my toes in because at the point I thought to do it, we had passed the sandy section of the shoreline and were nearer the less groomed, more mucky bits. Alas!

After a bit of a wander there, we headed back. We really missed the bug spray on the way back because when we returned to the bridge, we saw the deer again. She had returned (or possibly never left, being unafraid of unobservant passers-by) and was very near an alternate path we could see below. We decided to try out luck at getting close, but some a$$hole bird cried out in warning as we approached.

Seriously, we were whispering and trying to move stealthily, a bird of some kind made two very clear high-pitched BEEP, BEEPs in warning. She did it again when we had the river in sight. So, that bird was a legit narc.

This close to the little river the mosquitos, which have always found Mason tasty, swarmed. So, we tried to hightail it (not whitetail it, because she was long gone) up back to the regular path. 

Which is where I met my old enemy....


Image: STAIRS!!!

These were not Devil's Kettle level stairs, but... oh boy, on a hot day, I had to take my inhaler twice!  Plus, my hair is still kind of moist, despite being home and virtually unmoving for several hours now. 

However, we were rewarded at the top, near the Interpretive Center, by a park ranger with a telephoto lens pointed at an osprey nest. There was a family (of humans, with with small children) gathered near the lens, so even though I happened to be peeking through just as one of the bird parents returned with prey, I quickly handed it back to the smalls so they could see activity in the nest. So, I never saw the babies, at least not exactly, but I did see that the brave hunter parent brought something furry home for dinner!  (Probably just as well that I got murder cam, and the kids got baby cam, as it were, you know??)

Mason also did a bunch of driving, so I would say that the outing was a win. 

When Mason was 15 he got his learner's permit like most of his friends and then.... we utterly failed to learn to drive. I don't know what it was exactly, but it was a bad combination of my nerves, his nerves, and my tendency to be intuitive rather than practical when giving instruction. Whatever the reason we failed the first time, we've decided to give it another go.

Not to jinx anything, but this time it seems to be going swimmingly.

Part of it is that Mason is older and much more confident. Another part is that I am fully letting him set the pace. He recently graduated himself to lonely roads and I had the brilliant idea to drive to a State Park.


The St. Croix River from the Wild River State Park

This was a two-fer, as I got to see a State Park and Mason got in some really, really good practice, since we met  a bit of on-coming traffic (but of course it was all at 20 mph.) Mason even managed to safely stop in time to see...


Picture is blurry and taken through the window of the car, but fawn and adult deer in the road.

The fawn was so leggy that it was doing that awkward, could have been new born, WHAT ARE LEGS?? thing and then immediately collapsed in exhaustion once on the other side of the road and safely hidden by trees. Soooooo cute!

We mostly drove, but we checked out the whole park out, and I was surprised by this little gem. There were a number of people innertubing and otherwise enjoying the water, there's a huge section where the park rangers are restoring the prairie (and have been since the 1970s), and I presume some hiking to enjoy, though we never really stopped this time. I'm thinking this might be a fun park to return to, actually. 

 
Image: a river runs through it

On Saturday, we had arranged to meet my parents at the Apache Mall in Rochester (Minnesota, not to be confused with Rochester, NY,) and since Shawn and I are not ones to waste a drive anywhere we started looking into things to do around Rochester. Turns out, not far away was Carley State Park.

I do not mean to imply that our trip down to see meet my folks was not its own adventure. We had a lovely time eating out at a place called The Workshop, catching up in-person, and making the exchange of goods--my aunt had collected some church cookbooks that were being passed on to us. 

But, after all that excitement, Shawn and I headed to the woods where we continued to perfect our "retirement plan." The current plan is that i will do the nature hikes and Shawn will set up in some lovely spot with our glamper (this is the dream, at least,) and read while I walk. Absent the glamper, Shawn found a lovely picnic table while I tackled the Minnesota Hiking Club's trail....

Image: A sign that says both "Hiking Club" with an arrow pointing this way and CAUTION, to which *I* say, "WTF, MN Hiking Club. What. The. F*ck,."

Yeah, so I almost died.

"Died" might be an exaggeration, but let's just say I am glad I had my asthma inhaler and that I still mostly bounce when I fall. (People say there's no good use for body fat, but PADDING is definitely one I personally appreciate now that the bruises are setting in,.) The trail was lovely, though I would have loved to see this sign at the start of my hike rather than when I was 2/3rds the way around. The maps were also less clear about the elevation change. 

That being said, the official hiking trail did have lovely views of the river... if deeply treacherous bridges.


Image: concrete slabs that I had to jump across. Not for the faint of heart. Or the wobbly of knee.

Then, despite GPS's insistence that she could find us a faster route, we meandered home via Scenic Highway 61, stopping off at Pepin Heights for bags of fresh apples. Even though it's been dangerously dry (partly why I slipped on the trail, the ground was basically slick, dry leaf covered dust), the fall colors were still surprisingly lovely. The October blue sky is just so amazing against the russets and golds of the last of the leafed trees. 

Sunday we spent catching up on some house chores--we finally put the air-conditioners in the attic, etc. I also had signed up for a game (via Discord) at Gamehole Con on Sunday afternoon. I played Lex Arcana again, which is a system and a world that I'm really very fond of. You play in as Praetorian Magical guards in a Rome that never fell (thanks to precognition magic.) I played an assassin... excuse me, "diplomat" which was fun, although his super powers only kick in if he manages to deal damage and so we nearly got our butts handed to us by a bunch of Egyptian god-infested Libyan workers. Again, for me, the fun is in the playing pretend and I had a pretty good group for that, thought it's always so much harder to have character moments in one shots. We still did, though, because tallgeese had some clay dolls that, my character was deeply terrified of, which was only exasperated when they started to MOVE.

So. Good times.

Today, I managed to get our Halloween decorations up and we took Clover, who is now officially Rhubarb (Rhu for short) to the vet for her two week post-surgical check-up. She got the big thumbs up from the vet tech. Rhu is also now fully vaccinated for a year. We are still having some issues integrating the cats, but we are bound and determined to go slowly.  We got some advice from the vet and reassurance that it can sometimes take MONTHS if you do it right. The trick is that you have to go at the speed of the most stressed cat, and that can just be... however long it takes. So, we're still doing one cat gets free range, the other has to be in a single room switch (which we OF COURSE call the "Big Switch-a-Rhu.") 

Buttercup is either convinced there is only Willow Big and Willow Smol or is actually as intensely kind-hearted as we always suspected he was, as he is chill with both lady friends. Possibly Both.

So, that's us. I hope y'all had good weekends. What are you looking forward to this week, anything?

 
A colorful fallen oak leaf.

On Sunday, Shawn and I decided that we wanted to go see if we could catch some fall color before it faded completely. The MN DNR color tracker told us that just south of us was at peak or just past, so we decided to take a trip down to Frontenac State Park. Frontenac State Park is just between Red Wing, Minnesota and a natural widening of the Mississippi called Lake Pepin. I have never understood, despite growing up in this area, what makes Lake Pepin a "lake." I tend to think of lakes as bodies of water that are, you know, separate from a river, or at least much, much larger than the river that feeds it? But, somehow this fat section of the Mississippi gets to technically be a lake. 

No matter how you define it, the view is gorgeous:


Image: the view atop the Frontenac State Park bluff towards Lake Pepin/the Mississippi River

Before leaving for the State Park, Shawn and I did a bit of reading in all the various books that we've collected on Minnesota state parks over the years. One of them recommended the self-guided interpretive trail and so we planned to walk that, as well as maybe the pine circle trail. I also really wanted to see the rock with a hole in it, called In-Yan-Teopa. 

We decided to drive down in our new-to-us Toyota, in order to test drive it. We are, for the first time in our lives, a two car family. There is a used car shortage and so we actually got this second car in order to hold in reserve for when our current Ford dies. I'm glad we test drove it because there was some concerning creaking that I'm going to have our mechanic look at when I take it in on Thursday, but we kind of forgot that our state park pass was actually affixed to the window of our OTHER car. So, when we got to the park, we had to stop in and get a day pass. Shawn managed to find a sweatshirt and several other things, so it was worthwhile. Plus, the ranger who was staffing the front desk was very helpful. She stamped my passport and gave us a great overview of places where we might see some good fall color.  She had just hiked everything in the last couple of days herself. 

She did also warn us, like all the books did, that there was "some elevation." I have come to understand that "some elevation" is the geological equivalent of "some weather." When Minnesotans tell you there's been some weather recently they don't mean a bit of rain, they mean a tornado ripped through yesterday. I now know that when a Minnesota park ranger tells you there is "some elevation," she means HOLY SH*T YOUR KNEES WILL KILL YOU CLIMBING ALL THOSE F*CKING STAIRS.


A blurry shot of stairs ascending the bluff.


But, so, Shawn and I took the interpretive hike, which did not have a huge amount of signage. But, it led to the lovely, flat pine circle trail which we enjoyed. It was very much Shawn's speed as it was a loop, had benches at every turn, and was under a mile. The hike back up to the picnic area, however, was where we first encountered "some elevation." This set of stairs was just one of MANY. We did get to hike along the old quarry site, which was fascinating, and there was an iron ring still pounded into the ground where a rock was going to be taken but was abandoned for some reason. 

At this point, even though we arrived fairly early (an hour or so after the park opened at 8 am), we started to encounter a lot of other hikers on the narrow trails. The trails were so narrow that we had to press up against the rock face in order to let people pass. 


This path is actually not as narrow as some, but you can see how there is just a wooden plank bridge over some areas. Now imagine that, only with the other side being a rock cliff.

The weather could not have been more perfect, however. We did see a bit of fall color here and there, too.


image: sunlight through yellows leaves

After the steep interpretive trail, Shawn tapped out. As she said several times during our walk, "Do not mistake me for a hiker," and so I left her at the picnic area with a good book (the newest Longmire) and waved goodbye as I headed off to see the rock. 

A good portion of the way out towards the rock was paved and perfectly flat. I missed a turn, however, and ended up tromping through the very busy campground (people were packing up to leave) until I found my way back to the upper bluff trail. That trail was slightly more rigorous, if only because the ground was uneven and the path narrowed significantly again. I got excited when I started to see signs for the rock...



image: a sign!!

But, I was disappointed by what I saw when I got to the observation area....


image: Yep, the uninteresting top of a rocky outcropping....

As I was staring at this very dull rock for several minutes a couple of other hikers came up and explained to me that if I wanted the view of the actual stone arch, I would have to hike down to the lower bluff trail. The ranger had been actually very clear (for a Minnesotan) that the lower bluff trail was steep "but do-able." Given that all we got for the stairs that nearly killed us was "some elevation," I figured this warning should be headed. Also, I was on my own. Shawn was waiting patiently in the picnic area, but it was after one o'clock and I still had to make my way all the way back to her. I decided that this was the view I was going to get. 

I did look it up, however, so if you're curious what I WOULD have seen, this is it::


Image. the view I should have gotten. (Yanked from the wikipedia entry on Frontenac State Park.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontenac_State_Park

We spend a good portion of our day on this little trip and it was very fun, though my knees ache a little today?  The ironic thing, of course, is that for all that walking not a mile of it counted for the Minnesota Hiking Club, because I never walked the official trail to get the password. At some point I will have to come back to log those miles, but not any time soon. Maybe I'll walk it next spring. 

Shawn brought along her old film camera, so it should be interesting to see if any of her pictures turn out. Also, as we were leaving we caught sight of trumpeter swans in the Mississippi. So, that was very nifty.

All and all, a thumbs up.