Day in the Life of an Idiot

Welcome to the house of dead tetra.

The thing that's been the hardest in all of this is the brief periods of recovery. The fish will perk up, I'll get filled with hope, and then the next morning I'll find one (or two or more) of them plastered to the bio filter. Most days I just shake my head and gucci, gucci the poor suckers, but today I actually cried.

I just don't know what to do any more.

Shawn told me that when these guys die, we can get a new tank... completely new set up. As you know, Bob, this particular five gallon tank lost its cover some years ago and this is not the first time I've had bad luck in it. I've done what aquarists call "a complete break down" of the tank once already, but it's time now, I think, to sh*t can it.

So now every time I pass the pathetic survivers I say to them, "Go ahead. Just die."

Of course, they'll probably live now. (But because I'd be just as happy if they did, the jury is still out. If I REALLY wanted them dead, they'd live forever. But I can't say that's how I really feel.)

On Saturday, when more white fuzz/mold/whatever the frak appeared on the tetra I actually sought professional help. I went to the Fish & Reptile place on University with Mason in tow and harrassed their fish guy. He was very sympathetic and offered a new medication. This one didn't work either, in case it wasn't obvious. Although the water in the tank turned a very lovely color, kind of a lime green. Ever since Saturday, in fact, I've been losing tetra at a steady rate.

There are now five.

And I don't have time for this. I've got a book due in a matter of days and a lot to do on it yet. Shawn, who is always my final reader, came up with some pretty key points that I'd be foolish to ignore. Because I spent this morning with my tax guys puzzling out a German tax form I need to supply before the publishers of the German editions of Tate's book pay me, I am just now sitting down to my computer.

It's going to be a late night and I have a wicked bad headache.

It's rainy. I spilled coffee on myself. My fish are dying. Tax forms in German make my head hurt.

It's kind of a big, bad Monday.

Although while I was waiting for Shawn to finish reading and proofing my manuscript, I drew another Marvel tarot card. I'm really pleased with it, though it's not the image I'd originally imagined. I was going to make the LOVERS Jean/Phoenix and Scott/Cyclops, but as I was drawing it my brain kept picturing Sue Richards/Invisible Woman and Prince Namor/Sub-Mariner. So I ended up with Sue and Namor... as Shawn said, it's kind the scene we never see with them embracing rather illicitly underwater. They started out naked, but what's funny is that when they were naked it wasn't as clear they were Marvel characters, you know? Costumes kind of make the hero after all, I guess.

I'm not sure how it fits with the traditional Tarot interpretation of the LOVERS card, however. The LOVERS usually don't touch and there is an angel standing over them, with the implication that they represent the PURE and the "higher" aspects of love. What I've drawn is much more of a, let's just say, *baser* nature than all that. So I don't know, maybe what I've drawn is actually just fan art. I'm surprisingly pleased with it. I designed the pose, etc. myself (rather than copy another's from a comic), and the colors turned out well... and Namor and Sue both look hot (which is always a plus.) So, I don't know. I took a digital picture just now, and I'll try to get it uploaded ASAP.

For those of you not interested in either my fish or my Marvel tarot, I'm sorry. I promise to be more interesting later.

I have to admit I'm not very happy with either attempt. As you'll see below, I had to try this twice. Part of my trouble getting this card to behave may have a lot to do with the fact that I'm actually pretty terrible at drawing background stuff (the opposite of Hitler, I guess. People I can do; buidlings, not so much!)

Here's attempt one:



I have, once again, written a nice, long description of my thinking over at Tate's blog (along with somewhat larger images). You can read all my thoughts about this over here. When I showed these to Shawn a couple of nights ago, she asked me why I decided to show the Arcane tools in their traditional form of the cup, wand, sword and pentacle. My thinking is this -- even though I'm not always fond of this particular meaning for the Magician card, it is possible to read the Magician as dependent, still, on his tools (that is if if you go with the Fool's Journey idea, with the Magician as the first stop -- as opposed to the Kabblastic idea of the Fool as the pinnicle, end spot of the spiritual journey.) For Mr. Fantastic, then, the arcane tools are the ones whose code he hasn't yet cracked. These are the tools that require further study, deeper probing, as it were.

Here's my second attempt:



I'm a bit happier with this one, even though I changed very little. Reed is now in a lab coat, which I think suits this card better (as he's not a hero here, only an adept in his sanctum sanctorium). Both the infinity symbol and the gizmo that defies gravity (over his right, upraised hand) are obscured by the machinery already brought into existance by the magician, whose understanding of physics, etc. is like that Clarke line, "indistinguishable from magic." The Negative Zone is now shown open, so that when reversed, the querent is faced with the possiblity of falling into it, as it were.

Any opinons? Comments?