lydamorehouse: (crazy eyed Renji)
 ...and yet, I have to leave in about twenty minutes.

Normally, I would treat myself to a fancy latte at Claddaugh on a day like today, but we're out of money until payday for everything except necessities.  Mason's Chinese teacher (or, probably more likely, Washington's administrative office) decided to cash all the checks we've been slowly giving her over the last few months.  So, instead of a nice steady, planned _depletion_ of our account, a whole HUGE wad came out at once.  Luckily, Shawn had moved money over to cover Bearskin (our semi-annual trip to the BWCA) or we would have been in even bigger trouble. As it is, I have go without lattes for a few more days and watch what I spend. Not a crisis, just annoying.

Mason heads off to New York with his Chinese class on Monday, April 2.  The itinerary that the Chinese teacher has planned is... ambitious.  I hope they get to see everything.  I've only been to New York once (discounting stops at airports, heading overseas).  I was about Mason's age, and I won a trip there for some Peace speech project or other.  As Mason's Chinese teacher was talking about things they'd see in Manhattan, I had a huge wave of nostalgia.  I suddenly remembered our trip to the UN, for instance. Something I hadn't thought about for decades.  We were given a lot of freedom, too. I remember that after our group trip to Staten Island and the Statue of Liberty, three of us decided we wanted to walk back to the hotel, up Broadway.  Somehow, miraculously, we were allowed to do so, COMPLETELY by ourselves. It was probably my favorite part of that trip. We walked through Greenwich Village and Chinatown and all of that... I mean, some of it is a blur, and who knows what we missed that was "scheduled," but I think we were told it was fine since it was "free time" and most of the other kids were going to spend it prepping for speeches in the hotel. I did not advance.  The other things I remember about that trip was seeing "La Cage aux Follies" on Broadway and using my French to help a German couple that were locked out of their rooms....or maybe it was the other way around, and they helped us... (Anyway, the doors were tricky, you had to wiggle the key left, then right before it would go.)  The only language we had in common was French. It was probably the one time in my life language study was practically useful.

I hope Mason has a good a time in New York as I did. I hope he gets more opportunities than I did to go BACK.

It was funny, speaking both of money and traveling, Mason was telling us about his reaction to a friend's story about how their brother and dad took off for a car show in Florida this weekend.  Mason told us, at first, he couldn't even entirely comprehend how a trip like that could happen spontaneously.  He said, "I opened my mouth to say, 'What? How do you even?' and then I remembered other people don't have to plan for months in advance. They just BUY plane tickets and go places whenever they want."

Yeah.

And, yet, if next year, Mason decides he wants to go to China with his Chinese class, he has the money saved to do it.  We started an account for him when he was very small with all the little bits of money that Shawn's dad would slip us for "something nice for Mason." We've used that money for things like his changing table when he was an infant, but Shawn's dad was totally the sort that would slip both Shawn and I twenties throughout a weekend and we'd come home with a couple hundred dollars, discovered amongst our things.  So, we saved it all.  Maybe if Shawn's dad had lived longer, it would be a college fund.  As it stands, it's enough for a trip to China.

But, the Chinese teacher is a little... laissez faire? So, part of this New York trip is for Mason to decide if traveling with her is something he's comfortable with.  It's one thing to go to New York; another to go to China.  For myself, I'd go.  I mean, my old French teacher was a LOT laissez faire, and I don't regret a second of our high school trip to France.  That's another trip where, even though I've forgotten 9/10th of high school, I still remember vividly.  It also changed the way I travel, but that's another story, perhaps.  (We had an insane itinerary.  If it was the ONLY trip I ever made overseas, it would have probably been my preference... maybe? But.. as it was, I still have nightmares of being told I have an HOUR to spend at the Louvre.)

Right, okay. That's the time. I need to head out.  See you all on the flip side.


lydamorehouse: (more renji art)
If I ever want to sabotage myself, all I have to do is hit "stats" on any number of my websites. What happens when I do that is that I look at whatever the numbers are there and start either comparing myself to a more successful version of myself, or, worse, to someone else. And it can pretty much be anyone. I don't even have to torture myself with the current "it" crowd in SF. In point of fact, I've been known to send myself into a tailspin by noticing that another Tumblr-er has six comments on his/her post about their fan work going live on AO3, and look over at the pathetic one or two reblog/likes I got and think, "OH FINE, F*CK EVERYTHING. I QUIT."

Which is, of course silly, (if only for the reason that, of all the things I do, my fan work consistently gets the most love.)

This, however, is why I could never do a kickstarter/Indigogo kind of crowd funding thing for any project/potential project/life crisis of mine. I would probably be apoplectic with envy within five minutes of the thing going live. Even if I did respectably well, I'd think, "Well, you-know-who went viral in five seconds SO SINCE I DIDN'T I MUST SUCK SO MANY ROCKS--ARGH, I QUIT LIFE. BYE."

I don't know what to do about it, besides stay the [bleep] away from the dreaded 'statistics' buttons. I'm much happier just whistling on the crowded avenue, as it were. This, by the way, is my metaphor for a lot of social media. I sometimes feel every time I blog or tweet or post, I'm shouting into an extremely crowded hallway, where hundreds, even thousands, of people are passing by at any given moment. Attracting even one person's attention is really difficult. And, often, I can stress myself by looking over at other people standing in this metaphorical crowded hall and seeing the crowd they've managed to gather around them.

I was just talking about the whole social media phenomenon to a friend. The New and Improved SFWA Bulletin had a 'how to win at Social Media' type article and one of the bullet point type bits of advice was "be interesting." Yeah, see, that's not really helpful. I doubt anyone sat down to the social media of their choice and said, "My plan! BE BORING! That's sure to get retweeted!" And, similarly, there's really no quantifying 'interesting.' One person's interesting is another person's dull.

But, I'm probably boring you with that. See, that was my plan. I bet I'll get six new LJ friends now.

If I don't, I'll be sitting over here in the corner sobbing and feeling unpopular.

Speaking of articles that I'd love to read, it'd be interesting to know if anyone has done research on the correlation between depression and social media. I feel like maybe I've read somewhere that the internet (or the interwebs, as I hear you kids call it,) makes people more anxious, because they're always expected to be available, are constantly barraged by info, etc. But, I wonder if anyone has tracked this kind of comparing yourself unfavorably to others problem--or if that's just a problem of mine.

:-)

In other news Shawn had a lovely birthday on Tuesday. We went out to both breakfast and dinner which are my favorite things to do and one of my biggest presents to her was that we went shoe shopping and fabric shopping and I DIDN'T COMPLAIN, NOT EVEN ONCE, ABOUT HOW BORED I WAS. I'm such a good partner, aren't I? I bought her some actual gifts, too, but Shawn is easy in that she likes pretty shiny things like a magpie, so Mason and I went to the Tibet store and spend some bauble on some baubles.

And then I worked at Maplewood Library both Wednesday and Thursday, so it's been a busy week for me.

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