Problem List Continues
Jun. 1st, 2021 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lydamorehouseMy lovely wife Shawn has a lot of medical issues... on one of her many forms at the doctor's there's a list of her ailments and the sheet says, as it reaches the bottom or the printed page, "Problem list continues." We have long joked that this is the title of her memoir.
Medical stuff is under the cut. The down and dirty is: Shawn is okay, but remains a medical mystery. We will be seeing a urologist ASAP.
Sunday night Shawn was feeling really stressed out because there was suddenly more than just blood in the urine. There were clots. She remembered that her doctor told her that if things suddenly changed, "Get thee to an ER." Yeah, she wasn't feeling any pain, so she was in that horrible "should I, shouldn't I" place about whether or not it was really serious enough to go. My compromise at 11 pm was to suggest that If she was too scared to sleep, we should go. If she could sleep, we should? Then we can reassess in the morning and go, if needed. The morning pee was terrifyingly bloody with even bigger clots, so we broke our plans to get together with friends for Memorial Day and hurried off to the ER.
We happened to arrive when it was fairly slow. Not only was Shawn already processed by the time I parked the car, but she texted to say that she asked if I could come in to be with her and they said yes.
So, that felt lucky?
Except we rolled the dice and got one of the WORST ever ER doctors we have ever encountered in all our visits to United.
It was unsettling because, even as two women, we are very accustomed to being taken seriously. One of the reasons I have always been pleased with United Hospital is that we have never had an experience where we felt dismissed by the medical staff. They have always taken Shawn very seriously. I will note that, 50/50, I get respected as the spouse. I have had plenty of otherwise attentive doctors hear that I am "the wife," and then pointedly never look at me again and/or act like I'm not in the room unless I speak up, and then, those doctors will always re-confirm anything I've said with Shawn. (Example, me: "Um, Shawn no longer has her ovaries," them (not looking at me to Shawn): "Do you stll have your ovaries?" OKAY. But, whatever, right? Homophobia is a real thing, plus I will tell myself maybe they want to hear it from the patient.)
So, this doctor did that at well, but things were MUCH WORSE.
The doctor was, herself, a woman, but she was insanely rude about our understanding of our own bodies. She actually asked Shawn (despite having clearly looked at her chart) if she thought that the blood clots Shawn saw in her urine could be from her period. I was SO OFFENDED on multiple levels.
Interestingly, after all the tests were done, the doctor was actually far more contrite. It was clear from the hemoglobin count that Shawn had lost a significant amount of blood. So, maybe she wasn't hysterical after all.
But, the frustrating part is that even after a CT scan, nothing was conclusive. We were sent home with a referral to a urologist who will, "hopefully have the detailed tests that will get to the bottom of this." Which was always part of the plan? But, what I stressed to the doctor (though she never looked at me when I spoke) was that what we really needed reassurance about was that Shawn wasn't in any immediate danger until we could get in. INTERESTINGLY, after all the tests, the doctor was much more, "Well, no, but you really need to get in THIS WEEK" which was quite a change from "Are you sure you're not just on the rag?"
Shawn told me she found the change in attitude far more unnerving.
And, you know, I agree.
Shawn is upstairs even now trying to get through to Minnesota Urologists, so cross fingers for us.
I really had wanted to do more processing about how I felt about this year's low-key gathering at WisCON, but my brain is fried after five hours at the ER yesterday. I am very glad we went. Despite the doctor's attempts to undermine Shawn's sense of her own wellness, Shawn's instincts are good. A few years ago, she was the one who decided that she just didn't like feeling unwell, and BECAUSE A DOCTOR LISTENED TO HER, they discovered a blood clot that, untreated, would have killed her.
This time I wish Shawn had gotten clearer answers, because the not-knowing is very stress inducing. But, we are taking steps to uncover this mystery.
Medical stuff is under the cut. The down and dirty is: Shawn is okay, but remains a medical mystery. We will be seeing a urologist ASAP.
Sunday night Shawn was feeling really stressed out because there was suddenly more than just blood in the urine. There were clots. She remembered that her doctor told her that if things suddenly changed, "Get thee to an ER." Yeah, she wasn't feeling any pain, so she was in that horrible "should I, shouldn't I" place about whether or not it was really serious enough to go. My compromise at 11 pm was to suggest that If she was too scared to sleep, we should go. If she could sleep, we should? Then we can reassess in the morning and go, if needed. The morning pee was terrifyingly bloody with even bigger clots, so we broke our plans to get together with friends for Memorial Day and hurried off to the ER.
We happened to arrive when it was fairly slow. Not only was Shawn already processed by the time I parked the car, but she texted to say that she asked if I could come in to be with her and they said yes.
So, that felt lucky?
Except we rolled the dice and got one of the WORST ever ER doctors we have ever encountered in all our visits to United.
It was unsettling because, even as two women, we are very accustomed to being taken seriously. One of the reasons I have always been pleased with United Hospital is that we have never had an experience where we felt dismissed by the medical staff. They have always taken Shawn very seriously. I will note that, 50/50, I get respected as the spouse. I have had plenty of otherwise attentive doctors hear that I am "the wife," and then pointedly never look at me again and/or act like I'm not in the room unless I speak up, and then, those doctors will always re-confirm anything I've said with Shawn. (Example, me: "Um, Shawn no longer has her ovaries," them (not looking at me to Shawn): "Do you stll have your ovaries?" OKAY. But, whatever, right? Homophobia is a real thing, plus I will tell myself maybe they want to hear it from the patient.)
So, this doctor did that at well, but things were MUCH WORSE.
The doctor was, herself, a woman, but she was insanely rude about our understanding of our own bodies. She actually asked Shawn (despite having clearly looked at her chart) if she thought that the blood clots Shawn saw in her urine could be from her period. I was SO OFFENDED on multiple levels.
- Shawn is 54 years old. Does this woman think Shawn has never had a period before and is thinking, "What is this blood coming from my body?? I must be dying!!" like a complete idiot?? AND THEN GOING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM?????
- Shawn is 54 years old, WHAT PERIOD??
- Shawn has been in surgical menopause since she went off her birth control pills 2 years ago
- Shawn has no ovaries, which is why suddenly going off the pills made menopause absolute! No more spotting.
- ALSO WHAT THE F*CK, Shawn was already diagnosed, with a URINE TEST, of having blood in her urine by a medical doctor who isn't stupid EITHER.
Interestingly, after all the tests were done, the doctor was actually far more contrite. It was clear from the hemoglobin count that Shawn had lost a significant amount of blood. So, maybe she wasn't hysterical after all.
But, the frustrating part is that even after a CT scan, nothing was conclusive. We were sent home with a referral to a urologist who will, "hopefully have the detailed tests that will get to the bottom of this." Which was always part of the plan? But, what I stressed to the doctor (though she never looked at me when I spoke) was that what we really needed reassurance about was that Shawn wasn't in any immediate danger until we could get in. INTERESTINGLY, after all the tests, the doctor was much more, "Well, no, but you really need to get in THIS WEEK" which was quite a change from "Are you sure you're not just on the rag?"
Shawn told me she found the change in attitude far more unnerving.
And, you know, I agree.
Shawn is upstairs even now trying to get through to Minnesota Urologists, so cross fingers for us.
I really had wanted to do more processing about how I felt about this year's low-key gathering at WisCON, but my brain is fried after five hours at the ER yesterday. I am very glad we went. Despite the doctor's attempts to undermine Shawn's sense of her own wellness, Shawn's instincts are good. A few years ago, she was the one who decided that she just didn't like feeling unwell, and BECAUSE A DOCTOR LISTENED TO HER, they discovered a blood clot that, untreated, would have killed her.
This time I wish Shawn had gotten clearer answers, because the not-knowing is very stress inducing. But, we are taking steps to uncover this mystery.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-01 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-01 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-01 10:02 pm (UTC)Fuckin' wild.
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Date: 2021-06-02 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-05 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-02 05:59 am (UTC)P.
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Date: 2021-06-05 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-02 12:59 pm (UTC)I hope you get a badass urologist and they figure this out QUICK.
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Date: 2021-06-02 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-06-05 12:05 am (UTC)