Day in the Life of an Idiot

 Kowlaski's, my local grocery store, has been stocking these fascinating looking little meal boxes: Local Crate. I've been mostly ignoring them because, 1) the box says that their serving size is 2 and I have more than two in my family, and 2) they seem ridiculous. 

Oddly attractive, but clearly RIDICULOUS.

But, yesterday, I broke down and bought one.



Mason was going to be off babysitting for a colleague from the Science Museum anyway, so I thought: okay, serves 2: me and Shawn!

Mason looked at this thing while I was buying it and said, "I don't like it. It looks like 'mom gave up.'" However, I pointed out that really, I still need to cook and assemble all the things, so what's the difference (besides the price) in buying things for a recipe and this? Not a lot, really. The price is really the big difference. I'm not going to do the figuring, but I can only imagine that you can easily buy sushi rice, two eggs, bok choy, two radishes, a carrot, and half a pound of beef for less than 20 bucks.

However, if you have to buy a full carton of eggs, a full pound of rice, etc., maybe not.

These meals are obviously aimed at the sort of people who find certain aspects of cooking and grocery shopping overwhelming. I would never mock those people, because I get it. Sometimes I go to the grocery story thinking "what should I make for dinner?" and I stare at the slabs of chicken and beef and pork and think... "gah, I have NO IDEA." So, you know, these boxes take care of that. They show you what you're going to get (and, as you'll see: a pretty damn fair approximation, at that,) and provide you everything you need to make it, down to little packages of the garnish. (They do assume you have cooking oil and salt and pepper, though.)

The other set of people that I think these are aimed at are the people who have never had the time to learn to cook, but would really like to. On the inside of the box there is not only the recipe (and ingredients), but also links to YouTube videos where you can watch someone cooking THIS BOX and who will talk you through mincing your bok choy and frying your eggs! So, that's kind of cool, honestly.

You can find the video here. (They got a cucumber in their box, which I did not get! But, I did get bok choy, which she did not. Otherwise, that's the recipe as presented on the box.)



The only thing I hated about this thing, was the amount of plastic they used. The box is perfectly recyclable, but they individually wrapped the f*cking eggs, which, I mean, I realize they don't want them to break, but this is kind of Whole Foods-y...



Even the carrot came en-sleeved in a carrot condom.  Wholly unnecessary, IMHO.

I saved some of the smaller bits of packaging because I'll be sending lunches to school for Mason soon enough, so it might be useful to have bite sized egg cups for something like fruit.

Then, I went off script. I mostly followed the directions, except that I know how to cook rice, etc., and I wanted to add garlic to the beef, so I sautéed some of that first before searing the marinated beef strips (which I had to cut up and marinate myself, so I mean, not a HUGE amount of short cuts here.) The other thing I did differently from the recipe is that once the sushi rice was cooked, I put it in a oiled cast iron pan in order to mimic the crispy rice texture that you'd get when cooked in the traditional stone bowls. That turned out EXCELLENTLY, if I do say so myself.

As you can see, not to far off from the box:



There were a few other things I might do to improve on these, but they were actually surprisingly tasty. I would probably also garnish with some green onion tops, and maybe marinate the beef longer than ten minutes (with a LOT more sauce than they provided). But, otherwise, I have to say it was surprisingly successful. I was definitely expecting the entire process to be mock-worthy, and it really wasn't. The carrot condom aside, the whole thing was easy and delicious from start to finish.

I have NO IDEA what would have happened, however, if I were not already a fairly practiced cook.

There might have been many more disasters.