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The American Dream
May. 14th, 2018 07:52 am It's Monday and I have to go to work in about an hour or so. Today, I work at White Bear Lake, which always reminds me of my lovely Australian pen pal who said, "I don't think I could work there. I'd be scared of the bears!" I mean, she's not wrong that North America has bears, but the "white bear" of White Bear Lake is clearly a polar bear mascot. This moment is probably on par, however, as when I asked her if she ever sees kangaroos, because, you know AUSTRALIA.
My weekend was okay. I've been working a lot more than usual this month because we're talking almost the entire month of June off to go to the BWCA and road trip around the northern part of Minnesota. So, I was at Roseville on Saturday for a five-hour shift, which always goes by quickly, because it's busy and the people there are chatty and friendly.
Sunday was Mother's Day but neither Shawn nor I were really feeling it, for some reason. Shawn had been dogging a migraine all weekend, so I'm sure that was part of it, but Mother's Day has never been a Big Deal to either of us. Mason got Shawn a card and we both wished Shawn a happy Mother's Day, but we otherwise just hung around the house and were low-key. (For those wondering/worried, I get "Ima's Day" which is a holiday we made up because I'm selfish and don't want to share Mother's Day. It also tends to go by without much fanfare because the day we picked, Mason's adoption day, is December 5, so Ima's Day falls right in the middle of a very busy time of year. So, honestly? That seems fair.)
When we Skyped with my folks this Sunday Mason had a project about "the American Dream" for his English class that involved interviewing anyone who was _at least_ 8 in 1968, which took me out, as I was 1 in 1968. This is apparently some kind of combo project with history. But, it was interesting to hear my dad's answers to what he thought about the American Dream, and it got me thinking about my own. Interestingly, in the wake of the Canadian's visit, I've been thinking about the stereotypical answer, which is "A house with a white picket fence, and 2.5 kids."
I remember that when Shawn and I bought this house we were really happy to discover that there was a tiny two picket remnant of a white picket fence near our garage. We high-fived each other and were like, "Achievement Unlocked: American Dream!"
But, if you asked me where that phrase came from, I'd have to Google it. It's just been floating around in my consciousness since some time in the 1980s. (Urban Dictionary legit defines the American Dream in nearly these exact terms, though I guess the standard number of kids now is 2.3.) Apparently in 2012, NPR did a series on what people think the American Dream is and this imagery resurfaces. Obviously, it's shorthand for "success" as measured by... stability? A white picket fence implies a very pastoral house--you see white picket fences in St. Paul, in certain neighborhoods, but the implication in my mind is that the white picket fence part of that shorthand kind of implied suburban living--or, at the very least LARGE LAWN. So, you know, not apartment or condo living.
What's funny is that even though I have the house, the wife, the kid, and a tiny shred of a white picket fence, I never necessarily considered home owning to be a measure of success. We decided to try to buy because renting felt like throwing money away. When we lived in Uptown our rent was close to comparable to what we ended up with as a mortgage. I mean, for a couple of hundred dollars more, we could be gaining equity or whatever. So, it seemed like a smart move. I will say, though? I do miss having a landlord when the toilet backs up. I really wish I had someone i could call to say "Hey, the faucet is dripping again!" and have THEM have to figure out how to fix it!
I think what I would consider a measure of success is job stability and, weirdly, that's not something *I* have ever achieved. Shawn has been doing that thing people used to do in the 1950s where you pick a career and work your way up the corporate (or in her case, semi-non-profit) ladder. When she started at the Minnesota Historical Society she was a regular-level State Archives employee, she's not only become THE State Archivist, but she's now the Director of the Digital Preservation Department. So, I mean, that's the thing you're supposed to do. But, then it's also supposed to give you the luxury of a retirement package, enough money to have boat or a cabin "Up North," and things like that--yet somehow we're still struggling to make ends meet.
Meanwhile, I've achieved all sorts of personal success. I have managed to live an artistic life for a long time and to gain some notoriety along the way. I have rubbed shoulders (literally) with George R. R. Martin. Not bad for a girl from Logan High School.
And, it's like that question that floated around some time ago. Would your 15 year old self be impressed or disappointed with who you are today? My past self would be MORE excited about who I am today than I am most days. :-)
So, you know, I guess I feel like that's a HUGE measure of success, no matter how much or how little money we actually have in the bank (or whether or not we have that lakeside property, etc., etc.)
What is the American Dream to you?
Oh, and as an aside, my dad's idea of it was much more about an American Ideal--like, what America should be, which is also legit, as the kids would say.
My weekend was okay. I've been working a lot more than usual this month because we're talking almost the entire month of June off to go to the BWCA and road trip around the northern part of Minnesota. So, I was at Roseville on Saturday for a five-hour shift, which always goes by quickly, because it's busy and the people there are chatty and friendly.
Sunday was Mother's Day but neither Shawn nor I were really feeling it, for some reason. Shawn had been dogging a migraine all weekend, so I'm sure that was part of it, but Mother's Day has never been a Big Deal to either of us. Mason got Shawn a card and we both wished Shawn a happy Mother's Day, but we otherwise just hung around the house and were low-key. (For those wondering/worried, I get "Ima's Day" which is a holiday we made up because I'm selfish and don't want to share Mother's Day. It also tends to go by without much fanfare because the day we picked, Mason's adoption day, is December 5, so Ima's Day falls right in the middle of a very busy time of year. So, honestly? That seems fair.)
When we Skyped with my folks this Sunday Mason had a project about "the American Dream" for his English class that involved interviewing anyone who was _at least_ 8 in 1968, which took me out, as I was 1 in 1968. This is apparently some kind of combo project with history. But, it was interesting to hear my dad's answers to what he thought about the American Dream, and it got me thinking about my own. Interestingly, in the wake of the Canadian's visit, I've been thinking about the stereotypical answer, which is "A house with a white picket fence, and 2.5 kids."
I remember that when Shawn and I bought this house we were really happy to discover that there was a tiny two picket remnant of a white picket fence near our garage. We high-fived each other and were like, "Achievement Unlocked: American Dream!"
But, if you asked me where that phrase came from, I'd have to Google it. It's just been floating around in my consciousness since some time in the 1980s. (Urban Dictionary legit defines the American Dream in nearly these exact terms, though I guess the standard number of kids now is 2.3.) Apparently in 2012, NPR did a series on what people think the American Dream is and this imagery resurfaces. Obviously, it's shorthand for "success" as measured by... stability? A white picket fence implies a very pastoral house--you see white picket fences in St. Paul, in certain neighborhoods, but the implication in my mind is that the white picket fence part of that shorthand kind of implied suburban living--or, at the very least LARGE LAWN. So, you know, not apartment or condo living.
What's funny is that even though I have the house, the wife, the kid, and a tiny shred of a white picket fence, I never necessarily considered home owning to be a measure of success. We decided to try to buy because renting felt like throwing money away. When we lived in Uptown our rent was close to comparable to what we ended up with as a mortgage. I mean, for a couple of hundred dollars more, we could be gaining equity or whatever. So, it seemed like a smart move. I will say, though? I do miss having a landlord when the toilet backs up. I really wish I had someone i could call to say "Hey, the faucet is dripping again!" and have THEM have to figure out how to fix it!
I think what I would consider a measure of success is job stability and, weirdly, that's not something *I* have ever achieved. Shawn has been doing that thing people used to do in the 1950s where you pick a career and work your way up the corporate (or in her case, semi-non-profit) ladder. When she started at the Minnesota Historical Society she was a regular-level State Archives employee, she's not only become THE State Archivist, but she's now the Director of the Digital Preservation Department. So, I mean, that's the thing you're supposed to do. But, then it's also supposed to give you the luxury of a retirement package, enough money to have boat or a cabin "Up North," and things like that--yet somehow we're still struggling to make ends meet.
Meanwhile, I've achieved all sorts of personal success. I have managed to live an artistic life for a long time and to gain some notoriety along the way. I have rubbed shoulders (literally) with George R. R. Martin. Not bad for a girl from Logan High School.
And, it's like that question that floated around some time ago. Would your 15 year old self be impressed or disappointed with who you are today? My past self would be MORE excited about who I am today than I am most days. :-)
So, you know, I guess I feel like that's a HUGE measure of success, no matter how much or how little money we actually have in the bank (or whether or not we have that lakeside property, etc., etc.)
What is the American Dream to you?
Oh, and as an aside, my dad's idea of it was much more about an American Ideal--like, what America should be, which is also legit, as the kids would say.
