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In Which I Attempt to Die...
Dec. 11th, 2012 09:38 amToday's commute was brought to you by the letters, "O," "M," and "G"
Right, so I'm feeling pretty clever and confident, despite watching everyone slip and slide on the iced-over hardpacked roads because I've got this system where I switch into low geer just at each intersection and very, very carefully apply pressure to the gas. Works like a charm.
Until it doesn't.
There we are, my entire family in the car, at the busy intersection of Summit and Victoria and the car just ain't movin'. I'm spinning my wheels no matter how slow I go, and I can't try to back-up because there's a line of people behind me. So, Shawn tries to get out to give the car a push, but, sensibly, she's in high heels. Besides, her foot slides on the glare ice and she wisely gets back in the car because not only is it stupid-slippery, but THE IDIOTS ARE GOING AROUND ME ON THE PASSANGER SIDE.
She crawls into my seat and I get out. I have womanly boots on, so I'm getting slightly better traction, but Holy Ice Age, Batman, if I don't have to hold on to the car to keep from sliding under it. I finally get behind the car and I have to spend three minutes directing traffic because ALL THE IDIOTS ARE IN SUCH A HURRY TO DIE AND POSSIBLY KILL US ALL IN THEIR MAD RUSH TO GET TO A JOB THEY PROBABLY HATE.
Then, the light turns green again and I put my hand on the bumper...and immediatly slide back. It's such a sheet of ice that it's almost impossible to get a reaction without an immediate equal and opposite one. Finally, the guy in the truck behind me is not a mindlessly hurrying idiot and he hops out of his vehicle asks in the friendly Minnesotan way, "Do you need help?" I'm about to say yes, when his foot goes out from under him and he collides into me and the car. Luckily, he doesn't go under it, and weridly, having his body right there I'm able to give our car enough of a push that Shawn slowly sides through the intersection without colliding with anything. I see her steering over to the curb, and I'm about to offer the guy a hand, but he's already up and, of course APOLOGIZING. I tell him not to worry about it because OMG he's lucky no idiot had decided to go around us both and run over him, and then, being the classly lady I am, I swore up a storm like a sailor as I tried to walk across the f*cking iced-over street to get back to my car.
What the heck, Saint Paul? Do we not remember this thing called SAND?? Anakin Skywalker does not like sand, in fact he says, "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth." But, he's Darth Vader, killer of millions, and 'soft and smooth' makes for crap-ass driving conditions. Let's get some sand out there, people!
/rant.
I am, however, most grateful to be home. Ironically, yesterday, the day after twelve inches of snow, I made it home only 15 minutes behind schedule. Today, it's almost 45 mintues. That cuts into my bon-bon eating time, folks. I am not happy.
Although, to be fair, I am also late coming home because I stopped in to talk to the librarian at Mason's school. Talk about another depressing conversation. Did you know that there are only twelve full-time librarians in the Saint Paul School District? Ms. Fry, the librarian at Crossroads, is the _only_ elementary school librarian, and she's technically part-time because, in order to save her job, she got a Pre-K teaching licence and does that part-time at Crossroads as well. There is something seriously wrong with this picture. We chose Crossroads over all other schools partly because there was a librarian on staff. What, I ask you, is the point of having a media center/library at your school when it's shuttered half the time or run by volunteers?
The good news is that she and I worked out a plan for Mason, his AR tests, and schedule.
The bad news is that I found out that St. Paul schools no longer support AR tests and Crossroads is footing the entire bill to keep the program running at their school. Ai, ai, ai.
So much ranting.
Right, so I'm feeling pretty clever and confident, despite watching everyone slip and slide on the iced-over hardpacked roads because I've got this system where I switch into low geer just at each intersection and very, very carefully apply pressure to the gas. Works like a charm.
Until it doesn't.
There we are, my entire family in the car, at the busy intersection of Summit and Victoria and the car just ain't movin'. I'm spinning my wheels no matter how slow I go, and I can't try to back-up because there's a line of people behind me. So, Shawn tries to get out to give the car a push, but, sensibly, she's in high heels. Besides, her foot slides on the glare ice and she wisely gets back in the car because not only is it stupid-slippery, but THE IDIOTS ARE GOING AROUND ME ON THE PASSANGER SIDE.
She crawls into my seat and I get out. I have womanly boots on, so I'm getting slightly better traction, but Holy Ice Age, Batman, if I don't have to hold on to the car to keep from sliding under it. I finally get behind the car and I have to spend three minutes directing traffic because ALL THE IDIOTS ARE IN SUCH A HURRY TO DIE AND POSSIBLY KILL US ALL IN THEIR MAD RUSH TO GET TO A JOB THEY PROBABLY HATE.
Then, the light turns green again and I put my hand on the bumper...and immediatly slide back. It's such a sheet of ice that it's almost impossible to get a reaction without an immediate equal and opposite one. Finally, the guy in the truck behind me is not a mindlessly hurrying idiot and he hops out of his vehicle asks in the friendly Minnesotan way, "Do you need help?" I'm about to say yes, when his foot goes out from under him and he collides into me and the car. Luckily, he doesn't go under it, and weridly, having his body right there I'm able to give our car enough of a push that Shawn slowly sides through the intersection without colliding with anything. I see her steering over to the curb, and I'm about to offer the guy a hand, but he's already up and, of course APOLOGIZING. I tell him not to worry about it because OMG he's lucky no idiot had decided to go around us both and run over him, and then, being the classly lady I am, I swore up a storm like a sailor as I tried to walk across the f*cking iced-over street to get back to my car.
What the heck, Saint Paul? Do we not remember this thing called SAND?? Anakin Skywalker does not like sand, in fact he says, "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth." But, he's Darth Vader, killer of millions, and 'soft and smooth' makes for crap-ass driving conditions. Let's get some sand out there, people!
/rant.
I am, however, most grateful to be home. Ironically, yesterday, the day after twelve inches of snow, I made it home only 15 minutes behind schedule. Today, it's almost 45 mintues. That cuts into my bon-bon eating time, folks. I am not happy.
Although, to be fair, I am also late coming home because I stopped in to talk to the librarian at Mason's school. Talk about another depressing conversation. Did you know that there are only twelve full-time librarians in the Saint Paul School District? Ms. Fry, the librarian at Crossroads, is the _only_ elementary school librarian, and she's technically part-time because, in order to save her job, she got a Pre-K teaching licence and does that part-time at Crossroads as well. There is something seriously wrong with this picture. We chose Crossroads over all other schools partly because there was a librarian on staff. What, I ask you, is the point of having a media center/library at your school when it's shuttered half the time or run by volunteers?
The good news is that she and I worked out a plan for Mason, his AR tests, and schedule.
The bad news is that I found out that St. Paul schools no longer support AR tests and Crossroads is footing the entire bill to keep the program running at their school. Ai, ai, ai.
So much ranting.
