lydamorehouse: (more renji art)
The only movie I've ever liked Nick Nolte in was "The Good Thief." He plays a drug-addled, washed out jewel thief who gets talked into a casino heist by a police officer/former rival. There's a scene where the cop is trying to explain the details of the heist, and he asks Nolte's character, "Do you remember the 80s, Bob?" To which Nolte replies, "No."

Well, do you remember when the Internet was new? Do you remember why emoticons got invented, Bob? I do. It was because sometimes a singular line of text in a reply is hard to parce. The words are there, but the intent behind them is really uncertain. Was that sarcasm? Is she dissing me? Or is that genuine concern coming off as sarcasm? So emoticons got added so you could get more of a clue. Ah! A winky face, she's teasing me!

Somedays, I'm pretty sure I'm the person they invented emoticons FOR. I also apparently need a beta reader for real life (tm). Someone who could look over my shoulder at Tweets and status updates and blog posts and tell me if the words on the screen match my intentions.

Because I tend to get in trouble when I talk about my failings as a writer. Apparently, once you reach a certain level of professionalism, you're never, ever supposed to admit defeat. You're never supposed to agree that a rejection might have felt deserved or that you're not entirely happy with the finished product you sent off to your short story editor (who subsequentally published it.) Apparently, when you do that, you're dissing someone other than yourself. You're not a writer struggling to do her best, but instead some kind of horrible person who's hoodwinking editors into accepting less than perfect work and then crowing about it on the Internet.

For instance, I found out several years ago that I'm on someone's sh*t list because, on the day that an anthology came out, I told people to run out and buy a million copies and also talked about my struggles with short stories in general and in particular about the one that I sent off to the editor of said anthology. Apparently, my self-deprection/admission of imperfection was seen as a call out to all readers everywhere to NOT BUY THIS ANTHOLOGY BECAUSE CLEARLY IT'S FULL OF CRAP.

To this day, I don't understand how the one this makes people read the other. Shawn has explained it to me over and over again, but somehow I keep making the same mistake. I need an emoticon that says, "This is about me and is no reflection on you."

So yeah, I'm facing what I consider the strangest fall-out for having posted about being rejected yesterday (actually not the LJ post I ended up friend-locking below on Shawn's advice, but an even more innocuous status on Facebook.) Obviously, I can't go into details because SOMEONE SOMEWHERE WILL TAKE OFFENSE, but color me baffled. I thought that writers routinely got rejected and that it was all just a part of our lives and that we were free to talk about them, get a little comfort for the sting, and move on. But, apparently saying that what you really want to do is go back over your submission and make it better is some kind of slap to the face of all parties involved...

I really don't get it.

But, if you read yesterday's post (or saw my Facebook status), I'd love your opinion. Is there a coded message in there that says I was secretly trying to send my second-best effort, and that I gleefully hoodwinked my agent, the editor in question, and the entire universe with deviousness? Does admitting that you wish you had a chance to rework a submission now that it's been rejected and you have a sense of what might have gone wrong mean that you sent something off HOPING TO FAIL?

Shawn says she can see it. Maybe you can too. She's explained it a thousand times, but maybe you'll have the magic turn of phrase that will make me say, "Ah, I get it now."

And is there ever a way to talk about what we struggle with as writers that's not going to come off like this? Because I actually always apreciated hearing that writers "above" me on the professional ladder were having troubles not unlike my own. Steven King still gets rejections? Awesome. Stuff like that can, IMHO, be the sort of thing that keeps a writer at any level plugging away--knowing we're all in this together, doing our best, sometimes coming up short, but reworking things and going again. I want to be able to say that. But, every time I do, I get in the WEIRDEST kind of trouble.
lydamorehouse: (more renji art)
I understand why people talk about Muses when they try to describe the creative process. It's because writing is a confidence game. Most days I can fool myself into believing I'm brillant and that my ideas are cool and worth pursuing. Today, I'm having one of those days where every idea I try to come up with seems cliche and stupid.

Part of the problem is that I'm trying to tackle a proposal for an urban fantasy that I actually wrote some time ago. It's a proposal for a novel that my editor passed on. But, I have several "drawers" full of such things, because I always like to send in three proposals to my editor: the one I think she wants, the one I want, and one I make up off the seat of my pants. In the past, I've been pretty accurate in what I think will sell, but I've been surprised--Precinct 13 was actually the "seat of my pants" proposal, and I spent a lot of time thinking, "Really, this is the one you want??" But, I got over my shock eventually, and had a great time writing that book.

Anyway, I was looking through some of the ideas in the "reject" pile and started trying to figure out if there were any good bits to any of them. No surprise, perhaps, there are. However, the one I'm working on revising has some world-building that's exciting, but the whole rest of it-- the character, her situation, her choices-- all need a major overhaul. So I've been sitting at the coffee shop with my notebook trying to write out the cool of the world-building ideas and restructure a story around it.

It's not working.

I've had coffee (the usual food preferred by my "Muse,") but I'm not getting anywhere. I don't know if it's because I'm out of practice writing original fiction or if it's because EVERY IDEA REALLY *IS* STUPID. I've decided to forge ahead, but, when you're banging your head... everything else seems preferrable. It's probably a good thing that I've relocated to a coffeeshop because otherwise I'd be decorating our porch for the holidays, doing the dishes, or probably tackling any number of other projects that's been on my "honey do" list for years.

Grrr.

Okay, enough whining. Back to it!
lydamorehouse: (Default)
I think I may have actually deleted a thoughtful response to my "Fan Fiction Addiction" post.  I've been getting super-spammed here at LJ, and I think I may have hit "delete" out of habit.  I reprinted what the commenter said and my response to it in the comments of the previous post.  I hope she or he isn't offended that it seemed to go away.... anyway, I'm still thinking about that subject, honestly.  Because I'm hitting a kind of crisis point with my writing career.

It's officially been a year since I was under contract. 

I've been having a really hard time bouncing back from this one, and I've been trying to figure out how to break out of the cycle I've gotten into emotionally.  I've written a ton in that time period, nearly 200,000 words, all of it fan fic.  I've also drawn more art than I have since my last year in high school.  It's been a wickedly creative period for me, but there hasn't been a whole lot officially original that whole time. 

I've been reminded how much FUN writing can be, but I've had trouble translating that fun to other projects.  One of the things I've been thinking about to help motivate myself is that I'm seriously thinking about starting a new writers group...  or maybe just cultivate a wider range of writer friends.  What I'd love is to surround myself with creative, HUNGRY types -- sort of the me I used to be a decade ago when I had all the enthusiasm and drive of the BAKUMAN characters (I'm up to graphic novel collection #7, btw.  Still an amazingly inspirational story.)

I've been terrible about keeping up with my idea-a-day project, but I have gotten several really interesting things started, including an idea for a superhero novellette/novella that I may or may not submit to the anthology that inspired it.  The deadline for that is early November and I work well under deadline, so I may shoot to have something finished for that, regardless.

I'm thinking about doing the Novel in a Month thingy, with an eye to producing an e-book of Garnet Lacey or one of my other former series as Tate. 

But, I'm working on lighting a fire under myself. 

Fingers crossed.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
I thought I should write a quick update about my actual life (as opposed to the lives of my/Kubo-sensei's fictional characters.) 

First of all, I want to say that I will be at WorldCON this year, in Chicago.  My schedule is pretty open, but I'm really pleased how many panels I did get, considering the odds:

FRIDAY - 3:00 - 4:30pm --Broad Universe Rapid-Fire Reading
SATURDAY - 10:30am  - Noon --Autograph Session
SATURDAY - 16:00 - 17:30 (4:00pm-5:30pm?) --Series: Why Do We Love Them, Why Do we Hate Them? (ooh, I'll have tell Shawn.  Jack McDevitt is on the panel with me!)
SATURDAY - 10:30 - 11:00pm (for some reason they switched out of military time) -- Reading: Lyda Morehouse (perhaps Tate wasn't invited? Too bad, I intend to read from Precinct 13.)
SUNDAY - 1:30-3:00pm --Grimm from a Portland Perspective.  (A panel I'm probably on because I have Grimm opinions in general, given I don't live in Portland and have no Portland perpectives.)

I'm headed down by Amtrack on Thursday night.  I had intended to go down on Friday, but the Empire Builder is having delay problems so I switched my reservations.  As a bonus, it was a cheaper rate, so I got a bit of a refund. 

On an unrelated note, my family got hit, despite vaccination, with Whooping Cough.  Mason was coninuing to cough after what we THOUGHT was a mild cold, so we took him and he tested positive.  The bummer about this is that we were all quarantined, even adults with no symptoms, because there's such a raging epidemic in Minnesota.  We'll ALL on antibiotics, as well.  Shawn went back to work after only a day or so, because there are no specific guidelines for when the adults with no symptom can return to work, but Mason was stuck away from people during the course of the antibiotics.

Apparently, some friends of ours came to Mason's birthday party as carriers.  They weren't told to stay away from people.

*sigh*

It's also extremely dangerous for people with asthma... so, I'm glad I seem to be showing no symptoms.  Unfortunately, I was probably shedding the virus at my signing at Uncles last Saturday.  Apparently vaccinated adults often don't realize they have it and are spreding it.  Hello, Typhoid Lyda!   AND I'm going to have to miss my promotion ceremony for my blue stripe because today is Mason's last day of antibiotics.  (I could go without him, but that's just SAD.)

So I officially hate WHOOPING COUGH and anyone who decided not to vaccinate against it (and I'm likewise mildly irritated with parents whose kids are sick, but they don't let people know!)

Back to WorldCON, I have a bit of a conundrum.  I got a super-secret, SUPER pro invite from a publishing house (not mine!) to a boat party on Lake Michigan on Saturday night.  Saturday night I had been planning to help Cecilia Tan host her Hogwart's Reunion party.  My first impulse was,"OMG, I'm a pro!" and my second, much more serious consideration was, "Yeah, but who am I going to know, really?"  I have _been_ to what I imagine this boat party is going to be like, and IT'S AWFUL.  There's a lot of standing around sipping alcohol I can't really drink (and certainly don't enjoy), feeling underdressed no matter what I end up wearing, and staring desperately at all the cool people who all already know each other feeling like a dope (or worse, like I'm back at my high school prom without a date).  It's miserable, and I usually end up feeling worse for it.  On the flip side, I've been to the party it's SUPPOSED to be too.  The last WorldCon I went to, in Boston, I got to go to the super-secret Penguin party where I met up with my then-editor John Morgan and my current editor, Anne Sowards.  We had a BLAST, and I f*cking hung out with Charaline Harris.

I have about ten days to reply to the super-secret invite publishing house.  I haven't yet, because my heart belongs at Hogwarts.  First of all, I have never met Cecilia Tan for more than five minutes (I do know, however, what she can do with her tongue and a cherry stem.  Oh my!) and I'd not only like to get to know her better, I also went out of my way to invite myself  to this hostessing gig and leaving her for a bunch of annoying published authors and their editors seems RUDE.  For the record, Ms. Tan is also an editor and a writer whose work I've long admired.  More importantly, I think the Hogwarts Reunion will be a f*cking BLAST.  I will know some people who wuill be there for sure and there will be butter beer and fan grrliness of epic proportions. Plus I don't have to wear anything more formal than Hogwarts robes, which I already own.  (Oh, must sew on my Slytherin patch and find tie!!)  I will NOT feel stupid among Harry Potter fans, and, honestly, will probably have a lot more in common with the strangers in that room than I will with anyone on a stupid boat upon which I will be STUCK until they let us debark.

Okay, I think I actually know which party I prefer.  I'm just having a bit of trouble shaking the idea that I SHOULD go to the publishing house's party.
lydamorehouse: (Default)
On Friday I got my editorial letter from Penguin for Tate's newest novel Precinct 13.  Shawn and I were off celebrating "anniversary observed" and so I didn't really see it in my in-box until yesterday.  Today is the first day I'm sitting down and really looking at it.  First of all, it's seventeen pages long.  That's pretty long, though my editor didn't send back an electronically marked-up document, so it's not as line-by-line detailed as some of the others have been (though there is *some* of that.)

My editor is always very reasonable in her expectations, but regardless, I seem need to spend the first day of "revising" actually fuming, and not (re-)writing at all.  I get over it.  I usually get over it in a matter of hours, and then get down to the work of making changes that she will appreciate and I can live with.  More often than not, I come out the other side very grateful for her suggestions.

I suspect that'll happen again... any minute now.

However, at this very second, I just want to whine that "no one understands my GENUIS!!" 

It's something I've noticed a lot about my writing process: it's very manic depressive (or maybe just... weird). For instance, I just finished a short story that I'm submitting to the second Biblical horror anthology that Dybbuk Press is putting out.  I HATED the story at several points during its creation, but, on Friday, when I finished going over my writers' group's comments and revising it, I thought it was the most awesome thing anyone had written eVAR in the history of writing.    If/When it gets rejected, I will, at first, decide that the editor was the biggest fool in the universe not to recognize my genius.  I will immediately send it off to someone else who might appreciate me more.  Then, after it's gone back into the mail, I will suddenly believe that I suck, and that none of my writing has ever been worthy of publication. 

Technically, I skipped a step in here, where I will love the story just before I print it out to handout to my writers' group, and then, the moment they have it in their grubby little hands, think of everything that's wrong with it and why they're going to tell me it's dumber than the dumbest thing ever uttered.  And, then the subsequent roller coaster of emotions at the writers' group itself where I'm insanely happy that they found things to like, and mortified by the things that need improvement.  Weirdly, I don't tend to blame Wyrdsmiths for not recognizing my genuis, and I no longer go through a period, not even a milisecond, of thinking, "Wow, they just don't GET me," probably because my brain pre-filters comments as I'm listening to them, ie, "Oh, that was a good catch, I'll write that down," vs.  "Well, that wasn't my intention, but so-and-so doesn't like horror, so I'll note that impression but not dwell on it other than to make sure that part is toned down in revision." 

I think that just shows that there's a lot of trust built up in Wyrdsmiths over time.  You'd think I'd have that with my editor, but I see Wyrdsmiths every other week.  I talk to my editor usually only when working on a book's revisions with her, once or twice a year.  Also, face-to-face is utlimately different than receiving a seventeen page critique (even though my editor is always very good to mention the things she likes as well.)

I guess I just needed to articulate that, because I have no one here to complain to besides the cats. Who, I should say, are very good listeners, especially Ms. Ball, who has taken to sitting on me a lot this winter.

In other news, our Solstice/Christmas tree is up. We buy a tree every year from the Y's Men because they are conveniently located just across University Avenue from us, and we have a lovely family tradition of frantically dodging University traffic while carrying a ginormous tree. All the lights are on and all the oraments too, including both captains (Kirk and America), several Star Fleet vessels, and a blown glass octopus (among other oddities.)

Doing all that took up most of Sunday. Saturday was more of a lay around day this time, and, of course, Friday (as I said above) Shawn took off work and we hung out together. We ended up shopping, actually. The morning on Friday began with the sock incident, in which it was discovered that Mason had (we initally thought anyway) misplaced one of his black socks. This was a Big Deal because Mason has out grown all but two pair, and Shawn had been carefully tending them. Obviously, what was needed immediately after dropping little boy off at school was an expotition to the North Pole, er, Kohls. Off we went, and then since we were already shopping we kind of got into it and went to Pier One for a bunch of fun pillows for the new chairs (did I mention we have new chairs?) and then to Shawn's hair appointment and then off to DSW. Shopping! I'm not normally a retail therapy sort, but Friday was fun.

I had good company, I suspect.

Okay, so that's everything I know. You?

June 2025

S M T W T F S
123 4 5 67
8 9 10 11 12 1314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 14th, 2025 12:41 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios