Weak Ass, a Diagnosis
Jun. 22nd, 2025 02:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lydamorehouse As you know, gentle reader, I've been hiking a lot in the great northwoods. What I may not have told you is how much my right foot has been hurting afterward and how much I thought that the problem was an aging hip that might need replacement.
Good news! The physical therapist I saw on Wednesday is pretty sure my hip joints are doing all right. What he diagnosed me with, instead, was a weak ass. Obviously, that's not what he said. What he said was that my butt has a lot of muscles and I got out of the habit of using a number of them regularly. The ones I stopped using were degrading my gait. Basically, certain muscles had atrophied from being so sedentary and I'd developed the old lady waddle.
Phase one of treatment is to wake up my dead ass muscles. So, I have a whole series of five or so exercises to keep me busy. They're easy stretchy excercises, however, three of which I can do lying down, two I can do while sitting, and one I can do while standing. Because I'm married to Shawn Rounds, PT Queen and Project Manager, I suspect I will have no trouble being reminded to do my exercises. At any rate, I see my physical therapist in two weeks to check on my progress.
A couple of funny stories about the appointment.
First, when I did the intake form, they ask a lot of questions that made me realize that a LOT of people who go to PT regularly are in much, much worse shape than I am. So, at one point, in the margins I wrote, "I'm fat, but otherwise healthy!" Jake, my physical therapist, found this deeply charming and told me so.
I then charmed him again when he asked me to lie on my side for one so I could try one of the exercises and I said, "Wait, I should take out some of the things in my pockets." Out of my pockets came: my keys, about a dozen foreign coins, my inhailer, and three cool rocks. I could see him looking at this collection of things wanting to say something, so I explained, "You know the meme that where it says 'the worst thing about being an adult is that no one ever shows you a cool rock anymore'? Well, do you want to see a cool rock?" Jake found this oddly delightful.
Which, frankly, is my best feature. Being odd and delightful.
Good news! The physical therapist I saw on Wednesday is pretty sure my hip joints are doing all right. What he diagnosed me with, instead, was a weak ass. Obviously, that's not what he said. What he said was that my butt has a lot of muscles and I got out of the habit of using a number of them regularly. The ones I stopped using were degrading my gait. Basically, certain muscles had atrophied from being so sedentary and I'd developed the old lady waddle.
Phase one of treatment is to wake up my dead ass muscles. So, I have a whole series of five or so exercises to keep me busy. They're easy stretchy excercises, however, three of which I can do lying down, two I can do while sitting, and one I can do while standing. Because I'm married to Shawn Rounds, PT Queen and Project Manager, I suspect I will have no trouble being reminded to do my exercises. At any rate, I see my physical therapist in two weeks to check on my progress.
A couple of funny stories about the appointment.
First, when I did the intake form, they ask a lot of questions that made me realize that a LOT of people who go to PT regularly are in much, much worse shape than I am. So, at one point, in the margins I wrote, "I'm fat, but otherwise healthy!" Jake, my physical therapist, found this deeply charming and told me so.
I then charmed him again when he asked me to lie on my side for one so I could try one of the exercises and I said, "Wait, I should take out some of the things in my pockets." Out of my pockets came: my keys, about a dozen foreign coins, my inhailer, and three cool rocks. I could see him looking at this collection of things wanting to say something, so I explained, "You know the meme that where it says 'the worst thing about being an adult is that no one ever shows you a cool rock anymore'? Well, do you want to see a cool rock?" Jake found this oddly delightful.
Which, frankly, is my best feature. Being odd and delightful.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-23 06:43 pm (UTC)