lydamorehouse | (Reply)

From:

Unlike many jobs, mine has always had no meetings in my sub-department; the developers meet all the time, but me and the other "ops" guy... don't. So all of my human interaction is over instant messenger or text message except for my writer's group every other week, unless I personally arrange a Zoom call and invite friends.

I don't consider scheduling my forte. ;) (Scheduling is HARD; let's do math instead!)

I've actually gotten really quiet in our group texts because they're mostly active... when I'm actively working. :(

ANYWAY.

So, I've always been... kind of blurty? like, I can insert non-sequiturs into conversations with the best of 'em, and I realize it's not always welcome so sometimes I just shut up and nod a lot in conversations. OTOH, if the conversation is [insert piece of media I haven't seen here], yeah, I don't have anything to add, smile and nod. Also, I sometimes have things to add but the conversation just passes me by without any opportunity to say it because I can't get a word in edgewise, so I can either interrupt people, or I wait 30 minutes for other people to stop talking so I can share my brilliant 30-minute-old insight, and that's apparently wrong, too.

I'm worse now.

Yeah, I blurt more and also jump straight into the TMI as well. Which. Yes. As you point out there's supposed to be a call and response thing with "How are you?", but I LOATHE that?

Examples from the before times:

Me: *drags self into grocery line coughing, loudly blows nose, places 25 cold and flu remedies, Amy's no-chicken soup, saltine crackers, anti-emetic, anti-diarrheal, etc. on belt*
Perky grocery checker: HI! How are you?
Me: *bites back answer "How the (#)*@@#& do you think I am?" and grunts something vaguely positive sounding*

Me: *arrives at bank in all black and tear-stained, tries to sob quietly and with dignity and fails*
Perky Teller: Hi! How are you?
Me: *thinks "You're just taunting me, aren't you? I'M NOT GOING TO SAY IT ()*@#& YOU."* I need to close my mother's bank account. Here's her death certificate.

(It's not their fault. Their employer makes them do it in the name of ~~invasive overfamiliarity~~ friendliness.)

<TMI>I actually went on a mini-campaign after my parents died to say the words "dead" and "died" as many times as possible because euphemisms like "passed" just... pissed me off. Yes, she was driving on the highway and the person in front of her was too slow, that's what happened, she's fine how are you? Ugh. I felt, rightly or wrongly, that euphemisms were to protect other people from the realization that humans die, and felt that wasn't my job while I was busy grieving.</TMI>

And I'm doing it again. Because I'M WORSE.

Anyway. Yes. Someday I'll talk to humans again. We'll see how that goes.