lydamorehouse: (Default)
[personal profile] lydamorehouse
 Yesterday at work a friend texted me. "Notre Dame is burning."

I called Shawn to confirm, and she said, "What ever you do, don't look at the pictures. It's heartbreaking."

I had intended to follow Shawn's advice, but when I stopped at the McDonald's on Rice Street to pick up a quick, late lunch, they had CNN on a big screen TV (who knew McDonald's even had TVs??). I saw the devastation. At that point the fire was still burning, the spire had fallen. Then, I listened to BBC news on NPR and cried. 

Yeah, I'm one of the privileged ones who has been to see Notre Dame, not once, but twice. I went when I was 16 or so, as part of my high school French trip. My parents took Shawn and I back, some time in the 1990s. We have a picture Shawn took of one of the gargoyles hanging in our kitchen. 

My having been there is NOT why I cried.

I've cried many of the same tears thinking about the library in Alexandria. I've cried the same tears when water leaked in the roof of the Immigration History Research Center. It's not about _my_ connection to the place, it's about the place and its connection to history, to the world, to future generations--not just tourists, either. 

I had a dream last night that I woke up from that I knew was about Notre Dame. Shawn has hired a new administrative assistant at her job at the Minnesota Historical Society who starts today. Last night, I dreamt I was this new employee. In my dream, I was moving into someone else's cubicle, an archivist who'd been working on a number of projects. Of the things I was cleaning of of this space were paper wrapped paper napkins. They were napkins that had advertisements printed on them from the Pillsbury company. When I carefully opened up the package in my dream, I discovered that the napkins--which each had separate ads on the--had been water damaged, the whole package of them, hundreds of individual bits of corporate history, had been fused together. Shawn (who was also NOT-Shawn in the way of dreams) wanted me to see if I could save any of them. I woke up in a cold sweat telling her that these had to go to conservation immediately, as I was afraid of ripping them.

When I woke up, I thought this is what I feel about Notre Dame. 

Small history is as important as big history, what's even more important is that it's preserved. When things are lost, big or small, they are lost. I mourned the napkins with corporate ads on them in my dream the same way I mourn Notre Dame. It's all history. It's all valuable. And, yes, we can rebuild, but things are still lost.

And it's okay to cry over the things that are lost.

Date: 2019-04-16 03:45 pm (UTC)
oracne: turtle (Default)
From: [personal profile] oracne
It's all history. It's all valuable. And, yes, we can rebuild, but things are still lost.

And it's okay to cry over the things that are lost.


This.

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