Nebula Fraud/Freud
Feb. 19th, 2016 08:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lydamorehouseLast night, I had a dream about attending the Nebula Awards in my pajamas.
Oh... Dr. Freud. I'm not even subtle, am I?
First of all, I am actually going to the Nebula Awards Weekend this year. It's in in May, in Chicago, (which is close to home), and my friend Naomi went last year because her friend Helene (Wecker, who wrote The Golem & the Jinni) was up for a Nebula. They both had a such great time, and so Naomi was able to talk me into giving it a try with her again, this year. I thought, "Why not?"
Apparently, my subconscious thinks I'm not dressed well enough for the whole affair.
I'm sure this has entirely to do with the fact that I haven't been writing much of anything original for such a long time. I mean, as I say, my subconscious isn't known for its subtly. I'm sure all this feeling of loser-y was added to by the fact that yesterday, as part of my review of the latest chapter, I went to look to see how long the manga Bleach had been running. It turns out, according to Wikipedia, Bleach was first serialized in August of 2001, which means that Tite Kubo and I started publishing almost exactly the same time. Archangel Protocol was published by Roc in May of 2001. Kubo-sensei is also almost exactly 10 years YOUNGER than I am, having been born in 1977. He's, of course, still writing and drawing his creation. Me? I'm writing fan fic in his universe. (I mean, that's not entirely fair to myself. I'm doing other things, but you know how it is when you feel like a loser, right?)
I mean, there's an easy solution, right? And, I have several projects I could and should be working on. In fact, my writers' group has been hounding me to hand out the next chapter of the "Roommate from Hell" novel I started. I guess my brain is telling me that I ought to make some significant progress on those projects so that when people ask me "what are you doing these days?" I can have an answer besides, "Oh, a whole lot of nothing. You?"
I need to get over this, though, because I am really trying to NOT feel like a fraud at either the Nebulas or the Hugos this year (I'm also attending WorldCON). I really, REALLY want to go and just have a good time. I want to support my friend and hang out and do the dealer's room and all that sort of stuff.
At least in my dream, I went out and explored the city. Of course, in my dream, the Nebulas weren't in Chicago, but somewhere in Michigan, instead, but I found this really cool lake-park to wander around in before the ceremony. It was very visceral. Like it really looked like a real place, but my dream-mind loves to mess with me even when I could just be enjoying a pleasant walk in the park, because this park was kind of flooded, maybe always boggy, but definitely Escher-ish in the way it was difficult to traverse. In other words: treacherous.
Dreams, huh?
Oh... Dr. Freud. I'm not even subtle, am I?
First of all, I am actually going to the Nebula Awards Weekend this year. It's in in May, in Chicago, (which is close to home), and my friend Naomi went last year because her friend Helene (Wecker, who wrote The Golem & the Jinni) was up for a Nebula. They both had a such great time, and so Naomi was able to talk me into giving it a try with her again, this year. I thought, "Why not?"
Apparently, my subconscious thinks I'm not dressed well enough for the whole affair.
I'm sure this has entirely to do with the fact that I haven't been writing much of anything original for such a long time. I mean, as I say, my subconscious isn't known for its subtly. I'm sure all this feeling of loser-y was added to by the fact that yesterday, as part of my review of the latest chapter, I went to look to see how long the manga Bleach had been running. It turns out, according to Wikipedia, Bleach was first serialized in August of 2001, which means that Tite Kubo and I started publishing almost exactly the same time. Archangel Protocol was published by Roc in May of 2001. Kubo-sensei is also almost exactly 10 years YOUNGER than I am, having been born in 1977. He's, of course, still writing and drawing his creation. Me? I'm writing fan fic in his universe. (I mean, that's not entirely fair to myself. I'm doing other things, but you know how it is when you feel like a loser, right?)
I mean, there's an easy solution, right? And, I have several projects I could and should be working on. In fact, my writers' group has been hounding me to hand out the next chapter of the "Roommate from Hell" novel I started. I guess my brain is telling me that I ought to make some significant progress on those projects so that when people ask me "what are you doing these days?" I can have an answer besides, "Oh, a whole lot of nothing. You?"
I need to get over this, though, because I am really trying to NOT feel like a fraud at either the Nebulas or the Hugos this year (I'm also attending WorldCON). I really, REALLY want to go and just have a good time. I want to support my friend and hang out and do the dealer's room and all that sort of stuff.
At least in my dream, I went out and explored the city. Of course, in my dream, the Nebulas weren't in Chicago, but somewhere in Michigan, instead, but I found this really cool lake-park to wander around in before the ceremony. It was very visceral. Like it really looked like a real place, but my dream-mind loves to mess with me even when I could just be enjoying a pleasant walk in the park, because this park was kind of flooded, maybe always boggy, but definitely Escher-ish in the way it was difficult to traverse. In other words: treacherous.
Dreams, huh?