She Said YES...
May. 13th, 2013 07:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lydamorehousePerhaps you heard? The Minnesota Senate, after far too much deliberation and a somewhat narrow margin of seven votes, passed the Marriage Equality for All Act (or whatever it's officially called) and have legalized same sex marriage.
I spent much of the day hanging out with my friend![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
naomikritzer trying not to think about what was happening at the capitol. I get really nervous about things like my civil rights, and I feel like I've seen things go pear-shaped when they seemed certain (like WTF, Prop 8?) Naomi was perfect company because we'd talk about things, she'd check the live feeds/blogs, give me a little report, we'd discuss whatever was new a little, and then go on to other things. I didn't have to dwell or stew or rant at the radio. The Senate still hadn't gone to a vote by the time I went to pick Shawn up, so I came home to discover my Facebook feed EXPLODED with the news. My telephone started ringing. It was my very last boyfriend EVER, Bill spelled Wm, who called to wish me a happy congratulations. While I was on the phone with him, people were responding to my dubious, "Uh, well, I guess I'm getting married, huh?" post on Facebook, to which my penpal Keri noted, "Not until you propose!"
So Bill got to hear me squeal, "Oh, shit! That's right!" While Mason was yelling, "You know how to do this, don't you? You have to have a ring and go down on one knee!"
The ring is one from Mason's jewelry box. He has a box of trinkets from Shawn and my youth, and the ring he picked for me to offer is the very one Shawn used to play dress-up with when she wanted to feel fancy and elegant or TO PRETEND TO GET MARRIED.
There was a tense moment when I got down on my knee. Shawn has, in point of fact, rejected a ring from me before. Once, almost twenty years ago now, when we were at the Mall of America, I contrived to surprise her with a Claddaugh, which I'd hoped she'd wear to show she was in a relationship, a kind of a promise ring. When I offered it, her face crumpled and she said she had to say 'no.' She never wanted a ring like that, and, anyway, did we really need something like that to symbolize our bond...? Since I still had the receipt, I took it back... utterly heartbroken, honestly. We laugh about it now, but I can't say I wasn't thinking about that while I was down on my knees.
She said yes.
She is, in fact, still wearing the goofy plastic thing, which she wore proudly when we went out to eat to celebrate. Hey,empty_mirrors, guess what? We had fish and chips! Or, at least I did, though I have to confess they were from Red Lobster.
At dinner, we did a lot of talking to Mason and among ourselves about what this means. We've decided that what's going to happen for certain is this: as soon as the law takes effect--August 1, we will get married officially. Why? I need health insurance, fast. I've been without preventative care for over a decade now. I haven't been to a proper doctor in forever. Then, we'll take some time and plan for a December wedding, probably next year in 2014. I'd like to try to keep our December 1st anniversary. It's served us well for twenty-seven years, and I'd hate to have to start over at one, you know? But, I have no idea when that date next falls on a Saturday or a Sunday (and I'm too lazy to Google right now), and we don't want to have to wait forever, so I may just have to compromise and do the weekend closest to our anniversary.
Will we have "real" rings? Probably not. I can't wear metal and, f*ck, the whole thing is supposed to symbolize a kind of chain, so screw that. Maybe I'll consider a ceramic ring, like my parents had. But, Shawn already has a wedding ring she wears that belonged to her mother and grandmother.
One thing we've decided on is a minister. The woman who did Ella's funeral keeps popping up in our lives. She did the funeral for my nephew Adam, and then married my niece Alicia. We'd kind of like her to do any ceremony we have, because she's a Unitarian and we know how well she listened to the stories we wanted told about Ella... and did a stunning job with it. So it would be nice to do something positive with her, too. (She was thrilled to meet Mason at Alicia's wedding.)
After that, like I said earlier, the only other thing I want for sure is a dance. Shawn will probably hate the large crowd, so we may have to find a place that has an "Introvert's Corner" for Shawn and my other massively introverted friends to cower in when the crowd gets to loud, noisy, and exuberant. Shawn confessed over dinner that maybe she wants a bit of veil on a hat--one of those broad hats you always see the ladies wearing at British weddings (no fascinators, though!)
So, yeah... wow. I'm still kind of in shock. I really never expected this option and now that I have it, I really don't know what to do with it. So much about weddings I never wanted, but what I do want is health insurance and all that legal stuff other married people have access to. The dress, the cake--oh, actually, we have my mom on the cake, so that's covered--the rest? I don't know.
I realize though that weddings, like funerals are in some ways, for other people. So, you know, if there's something you want us to have, put your suggestions in now and we'll seriously consider it! Why not?!
I spent much of the day hanging out with my friend
naomikritzer trying not to think about what was happening at the capitol. I get really nervous about things like my civil rights, and I feel like I've seen things go pear-shaped when they seemed certain (like WTF, Prop 8?) Naomi was perfect company because we'd talk about things, she'd check the live feeds/blogs, give me a little report, we'd discuss whatever was new a little, and then go on to other things. I didn't have to dwell or stew or rant at the radio. The Senate still hadn't gone to a vote by the time I went to pick Shawn up, so I came home to discover my Facebook feed EXPLODED with the news. My telephone started ringing. It was my very last boyfriend EVER, Bill spelled Wm, who called to wish me a happy congratulations. While I was on the phone with him, people were responding to my dubious, "Uh, well, I guess I'm getting married, huh?" post on Facebook, to which my penpal Keri noted, "Not until you propose!" So Bill got to hear me squeal, "Oh, shit! That's right!" While Mason was yelling, "You know how to do this, don't you? You have to have a ring and go down on one knee!"
The ring is one from Mason's jewelry box. He has a box of trinkets from Shawn and my youth, and the ring he picked for me to offer is the very one Shawn used to play dress-up with when she wanted to feel fancy and elegant or TO PRETEND TO GET MARRIED.
There was a tense moment when I got down on my knee. Shawn has, in point of fact, rejected a ring from me before. Once, almost twenty years ago now, when we were at the Mall of America, I contrived to surprise her with a Claddaugh, which I'd hoped she'd wear to show she was in a relationship, a kind of a promise ring. When I offered it, her face crumpled and she said she had to say 'no.' She never wanted a ring like that, and, anyway, did we really need something like that to symbolize our bond...? Since I still had the receipt, I took it back... utterly heartbroken, honestly. We laugh about it now, but I can't say I wasn't thinking about that while I was down on my knees.
She said yes.
She is, in fact, still wearing the goofy plastic thing, which she wore proudly when we went out to eat to celebrate. Hey,
empty_mirrors, guess what? We had fish and chips! Or, at least I did, though I have to confess they were from Red Lobster.At dinner, we did a lot of talking to Mason and among ourselves about what this means. We've decided that what's going to happen for certain is this: as soon as the law takes effect--August 1, we will get married officially. Why? I need health insurance, fast. I've been without preventative care for over a decade now. I haven't been to a proper doctor in forever. Then, we'll take some time and plan for a December wedding, probably next year in 2014. I'd like to try to keep our December 1st anniversary. It's served us well for twenty-seven years, and I'd hate to have to start over at one, you know? But, I have no idea when that date next falls on a Saturday or a Sunday (and I'm too lazy to Google right now), and we don't want to have to wait forever, so I may just have to compromise and do the weekend closest to our anniversary.
Will we have "real" rings? Probably not. I can't wear metal and, f*ck, the whole thing is supposed to symbolize a kind of chain, so screw that. Maybe I'll consider a ceramic ring, like my parents had. But, Shawn already has a wedding ring she wears that belonged to her mother and grandmother.
One thing we've decided on is a minister. The woman who did Ella's funeral keeps popping up in our lives. She did the funeral for my nephew Adam, and then married my niece Alicia. We'd kind of like her to do any ceremony we have, because she's a Unitarian and we know how well she listened to the stories we wanted told about Ella... and did a stunning job with it. So it would be nice to do something positive with her, too. (She was thrilled to meet Mason at Alicia's wedding.)
After that, like I said earlier, the only other thing I want for sure is a dance. Shawn will probably hate the large crowd, so we may have to find a place that has an "Introvert's Corner" for Shawn and my other massively introverted friends to cower in when the crowd gets to loud, noisy, and exuberant. Shawn confessed over dinner that maybe she wants a bit of veil on a hat--one of those broad hats you always see the ladies wearing at British weddings (no fascinators, though!)
So, yeah... wow. I'm still kind of in shock. I really never expected this option and now that I have it, I really don't know what to do with it. So much about weddings I never wanted, but what I do want is health insurance and all that legal stuff other married people have access to. The dress, the cake--oh, actually, we have my mom on the cake, so that's covered--the rest? I don't know.
I realize though that weddings, like funerals are in some ways, for other people. So, you know, if there's something you want us to have, put your suggestions in now and we'll seriously consider it! Why not?!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 01:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 01:27 am (UTC)Which means that in 2014 it'll fall on a Monday. It'll be a while before it falls on a Saturday or Sunday again.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 02:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 12:22 pm (UTC)But I'll write down Studio Starfish. I always forget things like photographers. We'll need that, huh?
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 03:58 am (UTC)*checks it*
Dec. 1, 2014 is a Monday, so if you get married Sunday, Nov. 30 and dance until midnight, IT COUNTS.
Congratulations!
Also, nice icon. Where'd you get it? *snerk*
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 12:13 pm (UTC)And the icon was made special for me by my friend Frank! Isn't it AWESOME????
edited for spazzy fingers. (I'm still kind of in shock.)
no subject
Date: 2013-06-08 05:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 08:50 am (UTC)*throws digital confetti*
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 09:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 12:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 01:50 pm (UTC)For us, it was more along the lines of:
Me: Looks like we'll finally be able to get married.
Him: Yeah, we probably should.
And then yesterday:
Me: We've been talking about getting married and neither of us has said "no" yet, so does that we mean we're engaged?
Him: Yeah, I guess so.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 07:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 02:07 am (UTC)And she wants you to have cake at your wedding for sure.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-17 10:57 am (UTC)Lurker Unleashed
Date: 2013-05-25 10:43 pm (UTC)