Bourne and Baristas
Mar. 22nd, 2013 07:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lydamorehouseLast night Mason had a sleepover at a friend's house. They don't have school today because it's parent/teacher conference time, so said-friend invited a bunch of boys over for a birthday party/sleepover. At any rate, this meant that Mama and I got to have a date night.
The last couple of times Shawn and I tried to plan something even vaguely elaborate like going out to dinner or having people over, Shawn got horribly sick (once with the stomach bug and once with a migraine). So I told her, let's not plan anything. Let's just see where the night takes us. So, the night took us to watching BOURNE LEGACY on DVD, which I have to say is the single worst example of storytelling possibly of all time. I'm probably exaggerating because I'm sure something is worse. However, this one really stuck out because it seemed like there were several things that could have been done to fix it fairly easily. I feel like no one told the filmmakers that basic rule of storytelling: start with action. If they'd started with the cabin in the woods scene (a little character set-up) and then blown the thing up, and let OUR HERO figure out that his own people are trying to exterminate the entire super-soldier program that ONE CHANGE ALONE would have made a huge difference. Also a little "show don't tell." If the big conflict we're supposed to sympathize with our hero over is him "running out of brains" then we need to see the HORRIFYING CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT THAT MEANS.
As it was it was jumbled and confusing, and thus ulimately boring because I couldn't care less about what was at stake for our hero or the love interest.
The love interest, at least, got to have the single LEAST sympathy-inducing line of all time. When our hero is explaining why he has to take the risk to go to the next place (keep in mind he's a killer who has been losing bits of his soul with each murder he does as a tool to the system that spawned him) she starts sobbing, "You don't understand. You probably don't care, but I've made sacrifices too. I couldn't publish! I couldn't CONFERENCE!!"
Shawn and I actually laughed so hard we had to rewind. I would have ADORED this film to pieces if the Bourne-stand-in hero dude would have shot her at that point. Because, seriously, this is your big sacrifice? You couldn't watch the power point presentations! You couldn't get the tote bag! The college coffee mug! The per diem!! Don't you understand I didn't get the cheap cheeses at the meet-and-greet!!?? I missed out on the inside snark fest of Academia!!
As someone who is the child of a professor, I do actually GET that colleagues and publishing and conferencing is one of the big perks of the job. But would you really whine about it to a professional killer whose GENES you manipulated as part of your "research"?
Did I mention she was living in a gorgeous Victorian on a 100 acre lot?
But she COULDN'T CONFERENCE, people!!! Don't you feel her sacrifice!?
Okay, all my professor friends. Feel free to tell me I shouldn't mock. I mean, how would I feel if I could never attend a science fiction convention again? Hmmmm, yeah, still I'm not feeling the HUGENESS of that. Sorry.
In other news, I continue to be a weirdo. I know. Alert the media, right? I say this because yesterday afternoon Shawn had a hair appointment in Edina at the "Hair Police." I always wait for her at a nearby Starbucks. There, I overheard a barista talking about how Nikolai Tesla invented "I mean, like, everything, man. EVERY-thing." I had to at least support him to his friends who didn't seem to have ever HEARD of Tesla, but then we got into an argument about genuis and insanity.
I have to admit this is a personal pet peeve of mine. I kind of hate that trope because I think that it makes creative people afraid of the medication they need to be stable and healthy. I think that stability and (financial, emotional, societal) support is what artists, writers and inventors need much, much more than teh crazy.
Being a weirdo I think is a fine requirement for the creative life. Being ctually medically crazy? Nope.
I'm pretty sure the people at Starbuck thought I was nuts. I mean, this is Minnesota, not New York! Not only did I barge into a conversation with strangers, but then I argued with them! Werid-O! :-)
The last couple of times Shawn and I tried to plan something even vaguely elaborate like going out to dinner or having people over, Shawn got horribly sick (once with the stomach bug and once with a migraine). So I told her, let's not plan anything. Let's just see where the night takes us. So, the night took us to watching BOURNE LEGACY on DVD, which I have to say is the single worst example of storytelling possibly of all time. I'm probably exaggerating because I'm sure something is worse. However, this one really stuck out because it seemed like there were several things that could have been done to fix it fairly easily. I feel like no one told the filmmakers that basic rule of storytelling: start with action. If they'd started with the cabin in the woods scene (a little character set-up) and then blown the thing up, and let OUR HERO figure out that his own people are trying to exterminate the entire super-soldier program that ONE CHANGE ALONE would have made a huge difference. Also a little "show don't tell." If the big conflict we're supposed to sympathize with our hero over is him "running out of brains" then we need to see the HORRIFYING CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT THAT MEANS.
As it was it was jumbled and confusing, and thus ulimately boring because I couldn't care less about what was at stake for our hero or the love interest.
The love interest, at least, got to have the single LEAST sympathy-inducing line of all time. When our hero is explaining why he has to take the risk to go to the next place (keep in mind he's a killer who has been losing bits of his soul with each murder he does as a tool to the system that spawned him) she starts sobbing, "You don't understand. You probably don't care, but I've made sacrifices too. I couldn't publish! I couldn't CONFERENCE!!"
Shawn and I actually laughed so hard we had to rewind. I would have ADORED this film to pieces if the Bourne-stand-in hero dude would have shot her at that point. Because, seriously, this is your big sacrifice? You couldn't watch the power point presentations! You couldn't get the tote bag! The college coffee mug! The per diem!! Don't you understand I didn't get the cheap cheeses at the meet-and-greet!!?? I missed out on the inside snark fest of Academia!!
As someone who is the child of a professor, I do actually GET that colleagues and publishing and conferencing is one of the big perks of the job. But would you really whine about it to a professional killer whose GENES you manipulated as part of your "research"?
Did I mention she was living in a gorgeous Victorian on a 100 acre lot?
But she COULDN'T CONFERENCE, people!!! Don't you feel her sacrifice!?
Okay, all my professor friends. Feel free to tell me I shouldn't mock. I mean, how would I feel if I could never attend a science fiction convention again? Hmmmm, yeah, still I'm not feeling the HUGENESS of that. Sorry.
In other news, I continue to be a weirdo. I know. Alert the media, right? I say this because yesterday afternoon Shawn had a hair appointment in Edina at the "Hair Police." I always wait for her at a nearby Starbucks. There, I overheard a barista talking about how Nikolai Tesla invented "I mean, like, everything, man. EVERY-thing." I had to at least support him to his friends who didn't seem to have ever HEARD of Tesla, but then we got into an argument about genuis and insanity.
I have to admit this is a personal pet peeve of mine. I kind of hate that trope because I think that it makes creative people afraid of the medication they need to be stable and healthy. I think that stability and (financial, emotional, societal) support is what artists, writers and inventors need much, much more than teh crazy.
Being a weirdo I think is a fine requirement for the creative life. Being ctually medically crazy? Nope.
I'm pretty sure the people at Starbuck thought I was nuts. I mean, this is Minnesota, not New York! Not only did I barge into a conversation with strangers, but then I argued with them! Werid-O! :-)
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no subject
Date: 2013-03-22 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-22 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-03-22 09:57 pm (UTC)NIKOLA Tesla. he wasn't Russian. he wasn't Nikolai. He was a Serb, and his name is Nikola.
And did I mention that I have some fun with him as a major character in my YA...? (I mean, someone who was known as the New Wizard of the West in his own lifetime, how does that not make it into a fantasy...?)
no subject
Date: 2013-03-22 10:48 pm (UTC)And, yes, very cool.
no subject
Date: 2013-03-26 02:38 am (UTC)Afterward, prof decided that madness was on the far end of the spectrum from creativity, but since the continuum curved around they looked like they were contiguous.