Fan Fiction Addiction

At some point, I need to really seriously consider whether or not writing fan fiction feeds some kind of emotional need/addictive personality trait of mine.  One of the things I've discovered now that I've been at this for a while is that there are real emotional ups and downs. I know for a fact that writing fan fic gives me the kind of rush I used to experience role-playing.  It's sometimes a real adrenaline high, because it's really just THAT FUN for me to play pretend (in my head in this case) and be the characters I enjoy so much (on paper).  Another high comes once I've posted.  Watching "hits" and "kudos" and "coments" roll in can be really exhilerating when a story hits the presses as it were.  And, given that I write short peices, no more than 5,000 words at most (usually around 2,000), I can get this kind of thrill once every other day, or more if I'm on a roll. 

Who doesn't love being loved?  And I seem to have a fairly steady fan base of about 60 readers, depending on the series.  Considering that all my fic series are open-ended and Bleach isn't as hugely popular now as it was several years ago, I think that's actually pretty good.  Especially when you add in my personal obsession -- I write almost exculsively from the point of view of one character, so I'm already cutting out a ton of Bleach people for whom Renji isn't a favorite.  As a comparison, when  I post my Harry Potter crossover stuff, I'll get to a 100 hits really quickly (which is also kind of impressive given the fact that Ichigo is the pov character there, and I suspect most Potter fans could care less.)

I guess what I'm saying is... I feel like I get so much more out of fan fic writing, because of this instant response/instant gratification.  One of the reasons I started a writers' group was because I love hearing from people along the way.  Writing alone doesn't do it for me.  Writing in a vacuum even less.

I also experience weird lows.  When my usual commenters don't respond right away... right after the inital excitment dies down... it's very much a cycles of highs and lows.

Hmmmm.

However, I'm still working to try to come up with original story ideas for each day.  Today it involved a ghost message from  a Hamm radio.

Speaking of my writing career, though, I'm pleased to say that my dance card at WorldCON is quickly filling up.  Turns out, I can attend both the SUPER-SEEKRIT pro shingdig as well as the Harry Potter party, because I didn't realize that they actually were scheduled on different days after all.  So I RSVPed to both today.  Plus, a few professionals who are local to Chicago are doing things at their houses or organizing outings, so I'll have friends around me to keep me from feeling like a fraud.

Pictures for resizing