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lydamorehouseMason asked me with a smile this morning. As it happens, they are not. Not yet, anyway. And, worse, Shawn ordered a Doctors Foster and Smith Fish Catalog today, and I found myself going through it with a blue market noting all the things I need to make the aquarium even more “fun.”
These fish will be belly up by the end of the week, mark my words.
Yesterday was “adoption day” at our house, as December 5 is the anniversary of my legal adoption of Mason. Minnesota is one of the states that allows a second parent adoption (code for same sex adoption) – at least so far. The good news is, done is done. Mason’s birth certificate notes me as parent, which God Himself can not rend asunder. As a side note: Minnesota birth certificates are also gender non-specific. Both parents are listed simply as “parent” not “mother” and “father.” Even if somehow Shawn and I should split up (oh, our twenty-first anniversary of togetherness was December 1), I will always be Mason’s parent.
Anyway, we often celebrate adoption day with gifts, of which Mason and I are the recipients. Shawn and I agreed that she could have Mother’s Day all to herself, and I get Adoption Day for myself. That way it’s all about us. No sharing required.
I voluntarily waived my gift this year because Mason’s MP3 player croaked, and having some of his favorite stories pre-read, has been a real sanity saver sometimes. I am happy to wait for this weekend when we can get out to Target to get another one for him.
The other day Mason asked over the dinner table “How did I get adopted?” My usual inclination is to over-explain, but this time I said simply, “Well, you and mama and I stood in front of a special person called a judge and told them we love each other very much and we’re a family.” Mason chewed on this and a few more peas, and then asked, “How do people get married?” (Thinking, no doubt, about Bambi and Felene). I said, “The same way, honey. Your grandma and grandpa did the very same thing to get married.”
And they did. My parents were married in front of a judge. No Church wedding for them.
The thing that always gets me riled up about this whole American issue of GLBT marriage is that people always bring up God. You know, I’m fond of God (and His/Her many faces), but the fact of the matter is God has nothing to do with marriage. I realize that many people consider marriage a sacrament. That’s a bonus for you. Marriage is a legal status, first and foremost. Marriage has, since the beginning of time, been about property (including inheritance.) What’s mine is yours, end of story.
The nice thing about marriage is that, outside of the license fee, it only has to cost what you want to put into it. Adoption, wills, domestic partnership papers, medical and financial powers of attorney cost a boatload of lawyer fees. I only want GLBT marriage to be legalized so I can do the things straight couples take for granted, like know that my car is also her car should I die from a broken heart with I find Frieda floating belly up in the tank.
Anyway, happy Ima/Adoption Day to me!
These fish will be belly up by the end of the week, mark my words.
Yesterday was “adoption day” at our house, as December 5 is the anniversary of my legal adoption of Mason. Minnesota is one of the states that allows a second parent adoption (code for same sex adoption) – at least so far. The good news is, done is done. Mason’s birth certificate notes me as parent, which God Himself can not rend asunder. As a side note: Minnesota birth certificates are also gender non-specific. Both parents are listed simply as “parent” not “mother” and “father.” Even if somehow Shawn and I should split up (oh, our twenty-first anniversary of togetherness was December 1), I will always be Mason’s parent.
Anyway, we often celebrate adoption day with gifts, of which Mason and I are the recipients. Shawn and I agreed that she could have Mother’s Day all to herself, and I get Adoption Day for myself. That way it’s all about us. No sharing required.
I voluntarily waived my gift this year because Mason’s MP3 player croaked, and having some of his favorite stories pre-read, has been a real sanity saver sometimes. I am happy to wait for this weekend when we can get out to Target to get another one for him.
The other day Mason asked over the dinner table “How did I get adopted?” My usual inclination is to over-explain, but this time I said simply, “Well, you and mama and I stood in front of a special person called a judge and told them we love each other very much and we’re a family.” Mason chewed on this and a few more peas, and then asked, “How do people get married?” (Thinking, no doubt, about Bambi and Felene). I said, “The same way, honey. Your grandma and grandpa did the very same thing to get married.”
And they did. My parents were married in front of a judge. No Church wedding for them.
The thing that always gets me riled up about this whole American issue of GLBT marriage is that people always bring up God. You know, I’m fond of God (and His/Her many faces), but the fact of the matter is God has nothing to do with marriage. I realize that many people consider marriage a sacrament. That’s a bonus for you. Marriage is a legal status, first and foremost. Marriage has, since the beginning of time, been about property (including inheritance.) What’s mine is yours, end of story.
The nice thing about marriage is that, outside of the license fee, it only has to cost what you want to put into it. Adoption, wills, domestic partnership papers, medical and financial powers of attorney cost a boatload of lawyer fees. I only want GLBT marriage to be legalized so I can do the things straight couples take for granted, like know that my car is also her car should I die from a broken heart with I find Frieda floating belly up in the tank.
Anyway, happy Ima/Adoption Day to me!
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 05:37 pm (UTC)and
Happy adoption day!
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 06:18 pm (UTC)You know that song from South Pacific, "You've Got to be Carefully Taught"? ("You've got to be taught / To hate and fear, / You've got to be taught / From year to year, / It's got to be drummed / In your dear little ear / You've got to be carefully taught.") That song was written about racism, but it absolutely 100% applies to homophobia. Little kids TOTALLY GET that love makes a family. When Molly first figured out the concept of marriage, at three or four, she decided to list out the married couples she knew one day, and you and Shawn were on the list.
Molly's friend Anna just celebrated her adoption day (her "Gotcha Day," in her case) last week or the week before. One of the things that makes me happy about living in the Twin Cities is that my kids are growing up surrounded by loving families in all sorts of configurations.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 07:39 pm (UTC)I really do enjoy reading about Mason, and things like the fish.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 08:13 pm (UTC)Happy adoption day!
Date: 2006-12-06 08:13 pm (UTC)C ya,
The Plaid Adder
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 09:24 pm (UTC)My heart-daughter's mother (who lives in New York state) hasn't seen her first child in almost ten years now because her former partner (the biological mother) won't let her visit, and she has no legal rights.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-06 09:34 pm (UTC)Happy Anniversary. 21 is a good number.
Happy adoption etc., too.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-07 05:16 am (UTC)