Kinda not Ready...

[lydamorehouse]

 I'm trying to work on my lesbian novella on the other screen, but I am sitting here feeling awkward and... guilty?... and sad because a group of my friends is gathering right now, without me.

I want to be with them.

I am an extrovert by nature, but there's a couple of things going on. First, my family isn't yet fully immunized. Everyone's had their first shot, and I KNOW that confers a certain amount of immunity right away, but... even if they weren't? It's been a really long year of isolation. I'm feeling very vulnerable in gatherings. I'm just... I need to go slowly back into all of this, you know?

I had to take the public bus yesterday to pick up my car from the repair shop and... that exhausted me. 

I wouldn't mind starting to see people one-on-one, but there's a huge amount of pressure to rush into small gatherings.... and I've been a little broken by all this, y'all? I need time. I don't know that my friends are going to be truly okay giving it to me because we have all talked about how much we want this. 

And I do too?

But just... slowly please, and with care.

Can I ask for this? It's really hard.

Comments

[mtbc]

Makes complete sense, I hope your friends are accordingly supportive! Good luck with the adjustment.

[lydamorehouse]

My friends are so good. They are sending a single person with a plate of goodies and sent along pictures to make me feel welcome and included. I DO NOT DESERVE MY FREINDS. :-)

[yhlee]

*support support* I am glad your friends are being supportive!

[mtbc]

That's great news. (-:

[offcntr]

Absolutely you can. I really think a lot of us are gonna be working through this trauma.

(Sends virtual Minnesota hug*)


*One finger touch to the shoulder, saying So, ya got here then, eh?

Well! Let me tell you...

[lsanderson]

You should do what makes you comfortable and nothing more. The mythical sweet spot is two weeks after the final vaccination, which would be two weeks after the last vaccination in your house. But, even then you do not have to find the most crowded bars and dance until dawn, or 2am, which is about as close as we ever feel comfortable here in Minnesota. You can still take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs. Hmm, that last line seems familiar.

[sabotabby]

Totally makes sense. We're under complete lockdown (it was martial law but they had to walk that back) and we're not even allowed to meet outside with people we don't live with, so I have all kinds of awkward envy and sadness and guilt and fear. I think the best thing is for people to communicate their needs and boundaries. Which is easier said than done.

Re: Well! Let me tell you...

[lydamorehouse]

In my household we won't be fully vaccinated until June. I already am. My wife is only getting her second shot Monday and Mason's second shot isn't until a couple of weeks after that.

So, yeah....

[lydamorehouse]

Me, too.

I've been having a nice conversation with folks over on FB and that's helped tremendously to know that I'm not the only extrovert who really wants to go slowly back into society.

[lydamorehouse]

Canada seems like it's being sensible? I mean, it sounds awful and rough, but we're doing nothing at all here in the US and our case numbers are on the rise (and no one wants to admit it.) Michigan is exploding with cases. Minnesota isn't that far behind. People are getting vaccinated, but those who aren't are getting sick faster, thanks to the various variants.

So, I mean, my friends are being safe and smart, but there's a reason I'm super anxious???

[lydamorehouse]

Hahaha, thanks for the "hug," and the laugh.

As for the rest, yeah... it's just going have to be a slow re-opening for me, personally, even if everyone else is back at it immediately.

[sabotabby]

Oh no. Canada is exploding right now, at least in the provinces run by the far-right (and BC, which has an ostensibly left premier who acts like a far-right loon). We have more cases per capita than the US.

It's right to be super anxious!

[j00j]

THAT'S SO GOOD!
And yes, I think most of us can find ways to be gentle with and accommodating of one anothers' needs as we adjust.

[lydamorehouse]

Gah, yeah, and I'm sorry to hear about your province. :-(

[bibliofile]

Yay for excellent friends for inclusion and GOODIES.

Fortunately, you seem to have explained very well in this post how you feel at the moment. Really, that should suffice for most situations. It's not like the lesbias in your novella-in-progress will start haranguing you about socializing with them in person now, is it.