Day in the Life of an Idiot

I have the theatre dream, too, only with a twist. I'm the understudy and it's opening night and I have to step in for the lead. And somehow I never studied under and am frantically reading the script (ususally some inpentitrable Shakepeare or some such) and trying to figure out how to conceal the monster thing under my costume.

Sometimes I even make it on stage, and am trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be saying, doing, and listening frantically for my cue line.

That one is stressful.