Back, but not yet Back, if you know what I mean

[lydamorehouse]

 I am still hoping to do a recap of our last day at Bearskin (a moose! for real!) and the trip back (so many state parks!) but I am still recovering. 

For whatever reason, coming back is hard this time. Like, really hard. I don't know if it's the gloomy weather we've been having in the Twin Cities or the genearl political climate or what, but I'm just not feeling great. I'm feeling especially unloved at this very moment because I looked through a list of "professional attendees" for WorldCON and did not see my name. 

Like, part of me is as hurt and surprised as not... 

I've kind of been waiting for this day?

Like, there comes a time when a person just isn't relevant anymore. No matter if you've just published a book a few years ago. Or you're working your ass off so people know you're in the Pride StoryBundle and podcasting like mad. That stop stops mattering. You become noise. The noise of a thousand wannabes and hasbeens. You drop so completely out of the consciousness of the modern reader that it's like you never existed. 

Not being recognized as an attending professional at the Seattle WorldCON really feels like one of these watershed moments. I can see the abyss below me. 

I wish I understood why some people are never swallowed by it and other are. I have written and professionally published over a dozen books. Yet there are people who wrote ONE book whose names will live in the annals of history forever. 

Whelp. I've asked Seattle WorldCON to please consider me an attending professional, but at this point my guess is that, if they do add me, it will be as Lydia Morehouse. 

Edited to add: I am there now! They either added me quickly or it was hidden? 

Edited Addtion: There is an interesting discussion going on right now on the SFWA page about the virtual end of Seattle. As I have said here many times, I'm a big fan of virtual cons. They're great for people who can't travel. 

Comments

[profiterole_reads]

WorldCon has had so many scandals in recent years that they can't be taken seriously any more.

[lydamorehouse]

I am starting to feel that way. I just got a response from worldcon, and it seems like maybe they don't have a list of professionals attending virtually. That baffles me. I guess virtual cons are just not a priority anymore. Which is such a disappointment.

[oracne]

MOOSE.

[lydamorehouse]

True. Way more important. I will get on reporting that. We have a picture, even.

[offcntr]

ohmigod, Moose! I've seen tracks, up in the boundary waters, Denise's family in Alaska tell stories of them on the front lawn, but I've never seen one in person.

[lydamorehouse]

I'm working on it! I'll also have to link to the previous year when Moose Viewing was actually fruitful so you can see a better picture than the one we got this year.

[sabotabby]

WorldCon is so fucky this year that I almost think that each successive year they're trying to one-up themselves over the last scandal.

I am almost certain, for example, that I got on programming because there's someone vastly more famous and interesting with the same name, and the AI confused us. My source is that my shrink did a search for me on some AI thing and confused me and the other person.

You had a book out last year, with an Actual Publisher, making you presumably more relevant than a lot of people listed.

ETA: Which is not to say you shouldn't feel hurt! Just that you are relevant and important and they are screwed up.

[lydamorehouse]

You are not wrong that WorldCON is fucky this year. I'm just hopeful that there will be somethng for virtual attendees who are not panelists, like myself, to DO and SEE.

I may also be a casualty to AI because Morehouse College (which ChatGPT also confused me with when I tried) has had, no surprise, a lot of scandals around race, what with it being a Black College.

What frustrates me deeply about programming is that I swear to god they had a better system that travelled from WorldCON to WorldCON. I have encountered this insanely huge program survey on and off since MidAmerica Con (2016). It asked very awkward (but useful questions) like, "Have you won any awards? If so, what are they?" with a little notation that reassured people that it's okay if the answer is none. I think it did tend to demoralize brandnew people a bit because it also asked you to list all the previous cons you attended and I could see feeling very small if the answer was none, over and over. But, it also had a huge section about "tell us what is cool about you!" which was very supportive and was like, "Fandoms??? Hobbies?? Weird hyperfocus interests? We love them! Tell us all!" and I think it really helped programming get good people who were famous, not famous, new, old, and generally interesting all together on panels about stuff they fucking LOVED.

Now, because GRRM threw a fit about having to fill it out last year, it seems to be gone. It was such a better place for people to start with, though, because you at least got to hear from people, in their own voice, about what they loved about SFF and what they thought they'd be interested in talking about.

I can't imagine having to just Google (or fucking ChatGPT) a billion and a half names.

[sabotabby]

Yeah, that is a vastly better system. It's intimidating for me as a relatively n00b who will never win a single award and has a hard time getting to cons, but I can fill out forms and nerd out.

I've generally been pretty happy with the Nebula virtual programming but it kind of sucked this year, too. Only two days, and heavily on the Friday. Which, if one of your reasons for not travelling is work, means that you can't attend most of the virtual things.

Anyway, they managed to somehow pick panellists before out of presumably a quite large pool without resorting to the Plagiarism Machine, so I do think it's quite lazy.

[lcohen]

i was wondering if part of the problem was attending virtually. or, who knows. you've got a book out recently and another on the way. they can't take being a professional away from you no matter how fucked up their ability to identify professionals is.

eagerly awaiting moose!!!!!

[lydamorehouse]

The problem may be that there are several different lists? It's not the best website I've ever seen either.