lydamorehouse (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lydamorehouse) wrote2014-04-03 05:23 pm
lydamorehouse) wrote2014-04-03 05:23 pm
Entry tags:
Social Media and (Writerly) Depression
If I ever want to sabotage myself, all I have to do is hit "stats" on any number of my websites. What happens when I do that is that I look at whatever the numbers are there and start either comparing myself to a more successful version of myself, or, worse, to someone else. And it can pretty much be anyone. I don't even have to torture myself with the current "it" crowd in SF. In point of fact, I've been known to send myself into a tailspin by noticing that another Tumblr-er has six comments on his/her post about their fan work going live on AO3, and look over at the pathetic one or two reblog/likes I got and think, "OH FINE, F*CK EVERYTHING. I QUIT."
Which is, of course silly, (if only for the reason that, of all the things I do, my fan work consistently gets the most love.)
This, however, is why I could never do a kickstarter/Indigogo kind of crowd funding thing for any project/potential project/life crisis of mine. I would probably be apoplectic with envy within five minutes of the thing going live. Even if I did respectably well, I'd think, "Well, you-know-who went viral in five seconds SO SINCE I DIDN'T I MUST SUCK SO MANY ROCKS--ARGH, I QUIT LIFE. BYE."
I don't know what to do about it, besides stay the [bleep] away from the dreaded 'statistics' buttons. I'm much happier just whistling on the crowded avenue, as it were. This, by the way, is my metaphor for a lot of social media. I sometimes feel every time I blog or tweet or post, I'm shouting into an extremely crowded hallway, where hundreds, even thousands, of people are passing by at any given moment. Attracting even one person's attention is really difficult. And, often, I can stress myself by looking over at other people standing in this metaphorical crowded hall and seeing the crowd they've managed to gather around them.
I was just talking about the whole social media phenomenon to a friend. The New and Improved SFWA Bulletin had a 'how to win at Social Media' type article and one of the bullet point type bits of advice was "be interesting." Yeah, see, that's not really helpful. I doubt anyone sat down to the social media of their choice and said, "My plan! BE BORING! That's sure to get retweeted!" And, similarly, there's really no quantifying 'interesting.' One person's interesting is another person's dull.
But, I'm probably boring you with that. See, that was my plan. I bet I'll get six new LJ friends now.
If I don't, I'll be sitting over here in the corner sobbing and feeling unpopular.
Speaking of articles that I'd love to read, it'd be interesting to know if anyone has done research on the correlation between depression and social media. I feel like maybe I've read somewhere that the internet (or the interwebs, as I hear you kids call it,) makes people more anxious, because they're always expected to be available, are constantly barraged by info, etc. But, I wonder if anyone has tracked this kind of comparing yourself unfavorably to others problem--or if that's just a problem of mine.
:-)
In other news Shawn had a lovely birthday on Tuesday. We went out to both breakfast and dinner which are my favorite things to do and one of my biggest presents to her was that we went shoe shopping and fabric shopping and I DIDN'T COMPLAIN, NOT EVEN ONCE, ABOUT HOW BORED I WAS. I'm such a good partner, aren't I? I bought her some actual gifts, too, but Shawn is easy in that she likes pretty shiny things like a magpie, so Mason and I went to the Tibet store and spend some bauble on some baubles.
And then I worked at Maplewood Library both Wednesday and Thursday, so it's been a busy week for me.
Which is, of course silly, (if only for the reason that, of all the things I do, my fan work consistently gets the most love.)
This, however, is why I could never do a kickstarter/Indigogo kind of crowd funding thing for any project/potential project/life crisis of mine. I would probably be apoplectic with envy within five minutes of the thing going live. Even if I did respectably well, I'd think, "Well, you-know-who went viral in five seconds SO SINCE I DIDN'T I MUST SUCK SO MANY ROCKS--ARGH, I QUIT LIFE. BYE."
I don't know what to do about it, besides stay the [bleep] away from the dreaded 'statistics' buttons. I'm much happier just whistling on the crowded avenue, as it were. This, by the way, is my metaphor for a lot of social media. I sometimes feel every time I blog or tweet or post, I'm shouting into an extremely crowded hallway, where hundreds, even thousands, of people are passing by at any given moment. Attracting even one person's attention is really difficult. And, often, I can stress myself by looking over at other people standing in this metaphorical crowded hall and seeing the crowd they've managed to gather around them.
I was just talking about the whole social media phenomenon to a friend. The New and Improved SFWA Bulletin had a 'how to win at Social Media' type article and one of the bullet point type bits of advice was "be interesting." Yeah, see, that's not really helpful. I doubt anyone sat down to the social media of their choice and said, "My plan! BE BORING! That's sure to get retweeted!" And, similarly, there's really no quantifying 'interesting.' One person's interesting is another person's dull.
But, I'm probably boring you with that. See, that was my plan. I bet I'll get six new LJ friends now.
If I don't, I'll be sitting over here in the corner sobbing and feeling unpopular.
Speaking of articles that I'd love to read, it'd be interesting to know if anyone has done research on the correlation between depression and social media. I feel like maybe I've read somewhere that the internet (or the interwebs, as I hear you kids call it,) makes people more anxious, because they're always expected to be available, are constantly barraged by info, etc. But, I wonder if anyone has tracked this kind of comparing yourself unfavorably to others problem--or if that's just a problem of mine.
:-)
In other news Shawn had a lovely birthday on Tuesday. We went out to both breakfast and dinner which are my favorite things to do and one of my biggest presents to her was that we went shoe shopping and fabric shopping and I DIDN'T COMPLAIN, NOT EVEN ONCE, ABOUT HOW BORED I WAS. I'm such a good partner, aren't I? I bought her some actual gifts, too, but Shawn is easy in that she likes pretty shiny things like a magpie, so Mason and I went to the Tibet store and spend some bauble on some baubles.
And then I worked at Maplewood Library both Wednesday and Thursday, so it's been a busy week for me.
no subject
it'd be interesting to know if anyone has done research on the correlation between depression and social media.
Absolutely. Here's an article I've used in class:
http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2013/07/instagram_and_self_esteem_why_the_photo_sharing_network_is_even_more_depressing.html
Hope that's what you're looking for.
no subject
This article is good in that it talks about social media and jealousy and depression, but it doesn't really hit the precise thing I'm wondering about (although it's pretty similar.) Because the way in which I compare myself to other people on the Internet really isn't that KIND of jealousy. I have a friend who is traveling in Japan for the cherry blossom festival right now, and I'm actually adoring looking through her pictures because SHE'S THERE RIGHT NOW and I can say, "Oh, hey, what did x taste like or, what's does it smell like, etc." and because she can get back to me in a matter of hours it's a lot more, to me, like actually sharing the vacation. Which, for me, mitigates any kind of actual grr-I-wish-I-were-there jealousy.
What kind of jealousy-triggered-depression I'm talking about it the type that I can trigger looking at MY OWN PAGE. Not in a, "wow, do I look dumpy in that photo!" kind of way, but a, "Oh, only THAT many people looked at this page? Damn, that was my best work!" kind of way.
I wonder, though, if that's a problem very localized to the writing/performing/artist community. Does George Takei ever say, "Brad, I'm sad. Only 500,000 people looked at that joke and I thought it was brilliant!" I bet he does. (And I bet Brad gives him the stink eye and says, "Honey, listen to yourself. 500,000 people is nothing to be sad about!") But, here's the thing: for the all the depression of only getting one or zero hits, there's a HIGH when things get noticed.
This is why people compulsively check their kudos and numbers of hits on places like AO3 (or, for writers of first books, Amazon.com to check the ratings.)