Kinda not Ready...

[lydamorehouse]

 I'm trying to work on my lesbian novella on the other screen, but I am sitting here feeling awkward and... guilty?... and sad because a group of my friends is gathering right now, without me.

I want to be with them.

I am an extrovert by nature, but there's a couple of things going on. First, my family isn't yet fully immunized. Everyone's had their first shot, and I KNOW that confers a certain amount of immunity right away, but... even if they weren't? It's been a really long year of isolation. I'm feeling very vulnerable in gatherings. I'm just... I need to go slowly back into all of this, you know?

I had to take the public bus yesterday to pick up my car from the repair shop and... that exhausted me. 

I wouldn't mind starting to see people one-on-one, but there's a huge amount of pressure to rush into small gatherings.... and I've been a little broken by all this, y'all? I need time. I don't know that my friends are going to be truly okay giving it to me because we have all talked about how much we want this. 

And I do too?

But just... slowly please, and with care.

Can I ask for this? It's really hard.

Comments

[lydamorehouse]

My friends are so good. They are sending a single person with a plate of goodies and sent along pictures to make me feel welcome and included. I DO NOT DESERVE MY FREINDS. :-)

[mtbc]

That's great news. (-:

[j00j]

THAT'S SO GOOD!
And yes, I think most of us can find ways to be gentle with and accommodating of one anothers' needs as we adjust.

[bibliofile]

Yay for excellent friends for inclusion and GOODIES.

Fortunately, you seem to have explained very well in this post how you feel at the moment. Really, that should suffice for most situations. It's not like the lesbias in your novella-in-progress will start haranguing you about socializing with them in person now, is it.