Kinda not Ready...

[lydamorehouse]

 I'm trying to work on my lesbian novella on the other screen, but I am sitting here feeling awkward and... guilty?... and sad because a group of my friends is gathering right now, without me.

I want to be with them.

I am an extrovert by nature, but there's a couple of things going on. First, my family isn't yet fully immunized. Everyone's had their first shot, and I KNOW that confers a certain amount of immunity right away, but... even if they weren't? It's been a really long year of isolation. I'm feeling very vulnerable in gatherings. I'm just... I need to go slowly back into all of this, you know?

I had to take the public bus yesterday to pick up my car from the repair shop and... that exhausted me. 

I wouldn't mind starting to see people one-on-one, but there's a huge amount of pressure to rush into small gatherings.... and I've been a little broken by all this, y'all? I need time. I don't know that my friends are going to be truly okay giving it to me because we have all talked about how much we want this. 

And I do too?

But just... slowly please, and with care.

Can I ask for this? It's really hard.

Comments

[sabotabby]

Totally makes sense. We're under complete lockdown (it was martial law but they had to walk that back) and we're not even allowed to meet outside with people we don't live with, so I have all kinds of awkward envy and sadness and guilt and fear. I think the best thing is for people to communicate their needs and boundaries. Which is easier said than done.

[lydamorehouse]

Canada seems like it's being sensible? I mean, it sounds awful and rough, but we're doing nothing at all here in the US and our case numbers are on the rise (and no one wants to admit it.) Michigan is exploding with cases. Minnesota isn't that far behind. People are getting vaccinated, but those who aren't are getting sick faster, thanks to the various variants.

So, I mean, my friends are being safe and smart, but there's a reason I'm super anxious???

[sabotabby]

Oh no. Canada is exploding right now, at least in the provinces run by the far-right (and BC, which has an ostensibly left premier who acts like a far-right loon). We have more cases per capita than the US.

It's right to be super anxious!

[lydamorehouse]

Gah, yeah, and I'm sorry to hear about your province. :-(