I asked this question on Twitter, too, and have had an extensive (if somewhat one-sided) conversation with a person who suggests that there are gatekeepers in SF con fandom, people who are quizzing people on their "geek cred." I understand what she's saying, but I think it's unfair to paint all of SF con fandom with the brush of those people who do that kind of thing. I mean, I've experienced it, but I take it upon myself to tell those people to f*ck off. People are jerks. But, again, I ain't gonna let the bastards win, you know what I mean?

And, there are things cons could do (and do do) to "welcome" newcomers. But, just offering programing entitled "what are all these inside jokes?" might not be enough for someone who doesn't know to check out programming for things like that. And this is where I start to foam at the mouth. How am I to know, how is the con com to know, if you're sitting in the corner quietly because you feel left out or if you're the kind of person who loves to sit and watch people quietly from the corner? Who is responsible for your experience at a con? YOU ARE. Full stop.